Forever Lost – Chapter 1

Chapter 1

 “Hurry Sara!” Lisa called, her eyes twinkling with mischief. “We’ll be late!”

Laughing, Sara allowed Lisa pull her away from the store window, the movie on the black and white television all but forgotten. The county fair started this weekend, and it promised entertainment no one would soon forget. What that entertainment was, was still a mystery.

As they neared the park, the two girls slowed, moving into the crowd as it made its way onto the fairgrounds.

“I wonder what the entertainment will be,” the excitement Lisa was projecting running throughout the crowd in a shiver of anticipation. “It’s weird that they wouldn’t tell us. Maybe it’s some kind of magic show and the not knowing what kind of magic is part of it.”

“Maybe,” Sara grinned. To be honest, she had no idea what it could be. Music, magic, whatever it was, it was drawing a big crowd. There had to be people from neighboring towns because she knew this many people did not live in their little town in the middle of nowhere USA. They were so far off the grid that tourists were a novelty and gawked at by the townspeople more than the tourist gawked at them.

Trying to see everything at once, Sara looked around her. People dressed in costume in front of brightly colored pavilions tried to lure customers in to see their shows. Vendors selling cotton candy, corn dogs, peanuts and popcorn mingled with the crowd yelling out their wares. Cages with exotic animals pacing behind bars lined the walkway, men on stilts towered over them, a man swallowing a sword, the bearded lady, but everyone ignored it all as they headed towards the big tent where the real show would be held. The one that promised mystery and excitement.

They were almost to the tent when Sara realized something was not quite right. There was a vibe in the air that made her skin crawl, and not in a good way. She always had a sixth sense when something was about to go wrong. Too many times of that feeling proving true, she decided not to ignore it. Looking closer at the people around her, she realized that the smiles on their faces seemed…wrong. The expressions of joy and excitement did not match the haunted, hungry look in their eyes.

An elderly woman jostled Sara as she passed, almost falling over in the crowd. Sara instinctively grabbed her to keep the old woman from being trampled.

“Thank you, dearie,” the old woman’s honey sweet gravelly voice cooed. “I’m afraid these old legs aren’t what they used to be.”

“It’s alright, ma’am,” Sara smiled. “It is a bit….” Her words died in her throat as the old woman looked at her, a smile plastered to her face, her eyes flashing the color of blood, the sickening red completely engulfing her eyes. Sara immediately let go and stepped away, blinking, not believing what she saw. When she focused on the old woman again, she was smiling pleasantly at Sara, her pale brown eyes full of concern.

“Are you alright?” the woman asked.

“Sara! Hurry!” Lisa called grabbing Sara’s hand and pulling her away from the woman before she could form an answer.

Telling herself she was just seeing things, Sara shook her head at her ridiculous imagination and followed Lisa through the crowd towards the big tent.

The two girls finally managed to make it into the tent. All around them people talked excitedly about the show they were about to see. Eyes kept glancing Sara’s way, that same strange flash of red she saw in the old woman’s in some of them, others seem to bleed inky black. As Sara and Lisa moved slowly to the seats, Sara glanced down at a young girl and she knew something was definitely not right. The look the girl gave Sara was one of such hatred and hunger that it took her back. Gasping, Sara put her hand to her chest in an attempt to keep her beating heart from jumping out of her chest in fear. Unable to stop herself, she looked around her again.

This time she concentrated on the clothing. The men wore suits, ties, slacks, shiny dress shoes and Stetson or Straw Porkpie hats. The younger men and boys wore button down short sleeved shirts, slacks, canvas shoes, and hunting caps. The women wore dresses, stockings, with hats and handbags. Some of the younger ones had crop pants or poodle skirts with button shirts. Their hair was in a ponytail held with scarves and saddleback shoes. All normal clothing for the fifties.

Wait!

Fifties?

Sara stopped in her tracks. Lisa let go of her hand and they were instantly separated, but Sara was too stunned to care. As she looked around at what people were wearing, what they were doing, how they were acting, she realized with a jolt what was wrong. She was not in the right time. She was from 2015. What the hell was she doing in the 1950’s?

Better yet, how did I get here?

Her mind raced back to the store front where Lisa had found her. Something had caught her eye and she stopped to look. What was it? That’s right. A TV. An old bulky TV amongst the new flat screens playing some movie in black and white. Sara thought it was strange seeing it there in-between two HD flat screens. Who watched black and white anymore?

As she looked around her, she tried to remember what it was she was watching. Something about a county fair. Some old time horror movie where nobody was who they said they were, and surprises were around every corner. That was the draw of the fair. It promised fun and excitement, but once the excitement started there was only one way to leave.

When you were dead.

“What’s wrong, Sara?” Lisa asked walking slowly towards her.

Looking more closely at Lisa, Sara could see the flaws. Places where Lisa was…incomplete. As if the pixels on a TV screen were dying out. Her voice was different too. There was no emotion in it, just like her expression. On closer inspection Sara saw that Lisa’s eyes were the same as the people around her. Hungry, angry…flashing red.

“What’s going on, Lisa?” Sara asked taking a step back from her friend.

“What do you mean? We’re going to watch the show. Come on,” Lisa urged, raising her hand for Sara to take. Something in the inflection of her voice rose the hair on the back of Sara’s neck. “We’ll miss the show if we don’t sit down.”

“I don’t think I want to see the show anymore,” Sara said taking another step back.

The smile that slid across Lisa’s face was not reassuring. It was cold and hungry, like her eyes.

“In fact, I think I will go home,” Sara announced with more courage than she was feeling.

“I’m afraid that will be impossible,” Lisa scowled, her voice lowering, growing raspy, demanding, angry. “Once you cross through the Gates of Hell, there is no returning. You are forever bound to the pits of despair. Forever at the mercy of the demons you have created.”

Suddenly everything was in vivid color. Until that moment Sara had not realized everything had been in black and white. What the hell? The fair dissolved into mist as the people around her began to change. Each moaning and screaming as their bodies contorted into hideous creatures of various shapes, sizes and colors.

Demons, came unwelcomed into her mind. That was impossible. Demons did not exist.

Slowly, as one, they turned their eyes towards her, all different shades of the spectrum, all burning with fire, and she realized she was very wrong. Demons did exist.

In front of her, Lisa stood defiantly, her skin black as night, her long hair red as fire, her eyes green like emeralds. Absently, Sara thought she was beautiful. Then Lisa smiled, showing her razor sharp teeth.

“You belong to us now,” she hissed. “Welcome to the realm of pain and horror.”

Prologue

Copyright© 2017 Heidi Barnes

Just a little side note: Where we are going into the realm of angels and demons, the creation of this particular universe is not what some might think the conventional way of thinking. I hope you’ll keep reading as I veer away from popular belief and create my own.

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When Words are Not Enough

What do you say when you know in your heart there are words that will uplift, show compassion…heal, yet they do not come? When the emotion that you feel inside cannot not be conveyed in words, but words are the only way you can express what you are feeling? When the words “I understand”, “I have been where you are”, “I love you” is not enough? How do you say what you cannot show when words are not enough.

Copyright 2017 Heidi Barnes

Forever Lost: Prologue

Prologue

 

A few eons after the birth of the universe as we know it, on a planet far from prying eyes:

“You can’t be serious!”

“Do you have a better plan?”

There was a moment of silence as the two angels stared at each other unable to come up with something, anything that would not end in exile.

“No,” he sighed.

“It is the only way,” the second repeated, his own voice showing how much he disliked the idea. At least that was one thing they agreed on.

“When are they supposed to come for us?” the first asked sitting heavily on a nearby chair, absently playing with the gold band that circled the third finger on his right hand. The exact same band that his brother wore.

“Soon,” the second answered as he paced, one hand on his hip the other rubbing his chin thoughtfully. “No matter what they do to us, we must keep our silence or we will never find her.”

“There is only one way this will end and he will never believe we did not betray him,” the second reminded grimly.

“It is not him I am worried about,” the first confessed quietly, finally stopping his pacing to look his brother in the eyes.

There did not have to be words spoken between them to know what the other was thinking. If they did this, the one woman they had been guarding with their lives since the beginning of their existence, that held far more than their hearts, along with her mate might be lost forever to them.

“If we do this and the Unspoken One finds her first,” the second frowned, “we will not be there to defend her.”

“Or he may not be able to find her. More times than not it is us he comes for knowing our hands will be tied as to what we can do to protect her. We are not only her strength but her weakness. If we do this, become Fallen, we can come at him without worry of consequence.”

The second stood, his anger and fear mixing into one emotion. “But is it worth the cost? The entire universe could unravel and then chaos will reign, which is exactly what he wants.” The angel hesitated, imploring his brother to see reason. Then he spoke what he knew they both feared the most, his eyes filled with anguish. “I can’t lose the part of her I do have. Can you?”

The first stared at his brother, his own fear filling his eyes.

“No, but if we are to find her, save her in time, it is our only choice.”

*    *    *

Six cycles of our earth around its sun later:

Blood covered the once white walls and floors. An angel hung limp from his chains in the middle of the room. Another hung against the wall his eyes on his brother, worried. They had done so much more to him to get them to talk, and he was afraid it had been too much. Yet they stayed quiet. Even though their tormentors had left, they both knew the walls had ears and they stayed quiet.

A low chuckle filled the air, instantly cooling it. The angel in the middle of the room stirred at the sound, his swollen eyes opening slowly. That voice. How is he here? the angel thought.

“Do you really think you can save her this way?” the voice hissed through the air.

Both angels looked towards the sound. A darkness began to grow, filling the blood soaked wall until it spanned from floor to ceiling, well over twelve feet tall. Then the last being they ever thought to see in the heavens stepped into the light. Another would recoil at the sight before them, but they had had too many dealings with this…creature to be afraid. Even in their weakened state.

“You do not belong here,” the angel chained to the wall snarled.

“I belong where I chose, and lucky you I chose here,” the creature smiled. The straight white teeth, shoulder length black hair, designer clothes that fit his well-defined body and GQ features, did not match the ugliness and hatred that surrounded him or the evil in his black eyes. “I will say, though, I did not think the two of you had it in you. To give up that which is everything in order to try and save her. Such…idiocy,” he finished in disgust.

The creature stopped in front of the angel hanging in the middle of the room.

“You will never win,” the angel rasped his eyes blazing with hatred.

“But I already have,” the creature smiled sweetly. “And you two have made it so easy. You who are her strength, her heart, her weakness. Without you she will be vulnerable and when I find her, she will once again be mine. However, just to make sure you do not interfere again.”

Reaching up he took a hold of the right wrist of the angel in front of him. With the other hand he slowly reached towards the finger that held the simple gold band. The angel struggled to get free, but he was bound and weak and no match for the creature in front of him. Without much effort at all, the creature pulled the ring off, the blood making the skin slick.

“That is not yours to take!” the angel against the wall snarled, his chains rattling as he strained against them.

“No, I suppose not, but without this you will not be able to see her even though she stands before you,” the creature mused as he studied the gold band. Such a simple trinket that held so much power. Power over the angel it was given to. His eyes moved to the angel in front of him who hung frozen in his chains, eyes blazing with hatred. “There will be a time when you will lose all hope and you will call me. Then you too shall be mine and you will bring her to me.”

“Never!” the angel growled.

“Never say never, my friend. It is a long time, and time has a way of eroding what was once grand and noble into dust.” Slipping the ring onto his own finger, the gold tarnishing at the touch of his skin, the creature turned to the angel on the wall. “You are much more of a concern,” he frowned walking slowly towards him. “You, who have never wavered, not even in thought. Who has done what others refuse to do in order to keep her from me. I think something a bit more drastic is needed for you. And I also think you will both need to be separated,” he finished looking back at the angel behind him. “I cannot have you pooling your resources to find them before I do and change the destiny I have planned. I still have some sway in what the punishments will be given to our kind. I think a little talk with my sister will be in order. Until we meet again.”

With a flourished bow the creature disappeared, leaving the two angels with a cold dread that would last many eons to come.

*    *    *

Hours later….

“Your punishment will be as written,” the ageless woman with piercing blue eyes announced into the quiet room. There were only the two traitors, her and one other present for the sentencing. Her brother had wanted as few as possible to know what transpired in this room so to keep it secret. As much as she despised doing as he asked, they were in this together and this was the only way.

Turning to the one hanging on the wall, she said, “You will remain in the heavens, demoted into the rank soldier while labeled a traitor. You will also have any memory of your life with our God and Goddess erased, in which case you will not be needing her favor any longer,” she finished, a slight hint of disgust in her voice. With a wave of her hand, the gold band around the angel’s finger disappeared as did the glow of his magnificent white wings.

“You cannot do this,” he hissed slumping against the wall, suddenly weaker. Empty inside.

“It is already done,” she responded dispassionately before turning to the one hanging in the middle of the room. “You, as with your brothers who have disgraced themselves, will become Fallen. Forever at the mercy of those you chose to protect. There will be no help from any of the realms. Unless you have decided against your silence.”

When there was nothing from either angel the woman stepped back with a sigh. “Very well. What is done is done.”

“She will not stand for this,” the angel in the middle warned.

“She is not here to say otherwise, is she,” the woman snapped, her eyes flashing with power. Once again gathering her calm around her, she continued. “You will have your memories, and search if you must, but you will never find her. Not without your brother and certainly not in the bowels of the hell realm.” She looked at the other angel. “When will you realize that they have forsaken us all and are forever lost?”

When the silence once again filled the room as the two angels glared at her, she shook her head. Looking at the one that came to carry out the sentence she ordered wearily, “Michel, you know what needs to be done.”

“Yes, mistress,” he bowed.

With one last look at the condemned she walked from the room.

Michel moved into her place. “I do not do this with a light heart, but I cannot disobey her.” He moved closer to the Fallen and whispered so the walls could not hear. “There is more here than what you see. Remember, you are not alone.”

The only show of shock the fallen gave was the slight widening of his eyes.

Putting his hand on the Fallen’s chest, over his heart, Michel closed his eyes, bowed his head and concentrated. The darkness that filled the room only a short while ago began to spread out from Michel’s hand and over the Fallen’s skin. Gritting his teeth, the Fallen raised his face to the heavens in an attempt to keep the blackness of evil from encompassing him completely. In the end he could not keep the pain inside any longer. A scream of anguish and torment shredded his throat the darkness completely enveloped him. In a flash of brilliant white light that the remaining angels had to turn their faces from, the Fallen was left unconscious, his once sandy blonde hair now black. His once glorious white wings now black as night.

Then Michel walked over to the other.

“You do not have to do this, Michel.”

“If we are to win, this must play out or all will be lost,” Michel said sadly.

“No matter what you do, I will never forget her,” the angel vowed vehemently.

“I pray not, for all our sakes,” his voice barely above a whisper.

Then everything went blank.

Explanation                                                                                Chapter 1

Copyright © 2017 Heidi Barnes

Chasing Rabbits by Suzanne Carey

Sitting on a tree branch, Suzi clutched her stomach, gasping for breath, laughing so hard she nearly fell out of the tree. The rabbits were back and Heidi was mad. All her lovely new plants… rabbit food. But the situation got even funnier when she called her dog Jack to chase away the furry varmints, […]

via Chasing Rabbits — suzannevcarey

I put a link on my original story to Suz’s post, but I thought I’d repost in case those who have already read my post missed it.

Angst of a Writer

I see voices in my head
All talking at once
All wanting attention I cannot give
Imploring
Seeking
Demanding that I write their words
See their pain
Live their joy
Share their journey
So others may enjoy.
Worn down I take my pen
Situate my paper
and listen….
I re-situate my paper
and listen….
Sighing
I lay my pen down
Put my head in my hands
Praying for inspiration
Coherent thought
Help!
Silence ensues
Tension rises
All eyes narrow
Searching
….finding….
Growls of frustration
Words hissed, best not repeated
As over in the corner
In an overstuffed arm chair
Filing her nails
A glass of chardonnay
Box of chocolates
on the table beside her
My muse sits.
The one who translates
Thoughts
Pictures
Into flowing words
Her eyes glued to the TV
Watching Game of Thrones
A grizzly scene
Yet another red wedding
Unfolding
Unawares that in a moment
Fantasy may very well become
Reality

Copyright 2017 Heidi Barnes

Coming Soon – Legacy

Book 5 of the Obsession Series

Legacy

Justus Tremmel. Playboy, hero, risk taker, lover. All the things his father was except one. Responsible CEO of one of the most powerful empires in the world. At twenty-three everyone expected him to take over the company sooner rather than later, a job Jesse was doing his best to run away from. That was until a mere slip of girl captured his heart and the attention of those who wanted him dead and his family ruined. Will he be able to walk away from Sara, or will he follow in his father’s footsteps? Keeping the woman he loves locked away, never to see her family and friends again. Will any of it be enough to keep her safe?

Sara Reese had her future planned out. Finish college and move as far away from the small quiet town she grew up in to live in the big city where excitement was around every corner. That was until Justus Tremmel inadvertently gave her a taste of his world and the dangers surrounding it. Now hunted by the ones who wish to see the Tremmels ruined, Sara must decide whether she wants to stay in the comfort of what she knows, or dive headlong into a world she barely understands and wants her dead.

Fated to Be (Book 2)

Well, it’s here! I have finally published book two of my Destiny series. Where it is not yet on Amazon (there is a 3-5 business day process for the physical book) you can buy it on CreateSpace here. The Kindle Version should be up on Amazon shortly. I will put the link up on the Destiny Series page as soon as it goes live there.

I’m so excited!

Fated to Be Cover

Never say never.

Not everything is set in stone, and not everyone is who they seem to be. Life throws you curve-balls and people change. Some for good, some for evil.

Emma Kessler’s life has been anything but easy, and there are those who threaten to take what little peace she has carved out of the chaos that surrounds her and destroy it. What she does not expect are those she trusts with her heart to turn their backs on her when she needs them the most. All because of a destiny she never wanted.

Choices and Balance

In everything, there is a beginning and an end.

Even great mountains rise and fall as time continues to roll on.

Within that time, a delicate balance must be maintained
or all will fall into chaos and ruin.

The universe is no different.

Among the chaos of creation there is still a semblance of balance,
or nothing would be able to form, to grow, to endure.

But what keeps that balance?

Is it divine force, or just chance?

Is it strong and sure,
or just holding on by a thread that is ready to break at any moment?

Do we have centuries, years,
or days before the life we know ends as suddenly as it began?

Is it as simply as a choice between good or evil, right or wrong, love or hate.

Or is it as simple as choosing it embrace both,
because without one the other does not exist.

Copyright 2107 Heidi Barnes

 

A Horde of Five-Year-Olds

Today in 9th grade English class while the kids were working on their poetry, the teacher asked a few of them, what they would do if a horde of five-year-olds were coming at them? Could they defend themselves? I asked him if the District was threatening him with a kindergarten class and he laughed. But my mind started working and this is what I came up with. I’ve polished it up a bit, but about half of it was written in ten minutes.

I got a kick out of it. I hope you do too. 😊

 

I don’t know where they came from, and at that moment I didn’t care. All I knew was a horde of short people covered in what looked strangely like blood, but in retrospect was probably strawberry jam, were coming at me like a pack of hungry snarling wolverines. Fearing for my life, I frantically searched for an escape. My stomach dropped and I began vehemently cursing the Fates for bringing me to one of the few rooms in the school where there was only one door and the windows were sealed shut.

I was trapped.

I turned to face the horde of stick smelly five-year-olds, praying my death would be quick and relatively painless. The feverish glitter in their eyes did not give me hope.

“Climb!” someone screamed.

What?

Climb?

Where?

It was then I saw her. Huddled in the far corner of the room on top of a filing cabinet was a young woman whose clothes were ripped and hair in sticky disarray. It was apparent they had gotten to her first and were back for more. I was just the unlucky sap that found himself in the wrong place at the wrong time. Life was like that sometimes. Throwing you into the middle of a hurricane just to see if you would survive. My first thought as I leaped for the filing cabinet that this would not be one of those times.

Just as I was about to climb to safety, something grabbed my pant leg and pulled. Yelling in surprise as the woman screamed and grabbed a hold of me, I frantically tried to get free. It was no use. They were just too strong.

“Take of your pants!” she yelled.

“What? Are you crazy?”

“I can’t hold on much longer,” she gritted as I slid a few more millimeters into the mass. “It’s either you or the pants, and you do not want to know what they did to the other one.”

Pants it was.

“What the hell happened?” I yelled as I scrambled on top of the filing cabinet next to her, finally free.

“It was a birthday party,” she gasped. “One of the mothers brought jam filled donuts to celebrate. They attacked her at the door. After that…,” her voice trailed off as her eyes grew haunted and her face even pale, the horror of a room full of five-year-olds on a massive sugar high obviously rendering her catatonic. God only knew what was left of the poor woman who innocently brought the means of our destruction.

Looking down at the crawling, wriggling, sticky mass that was once happily calm children bent on tearing me apart I realized one thing.

We were doomed.

 

Copyright © 2017 Heidi Barnes

What Do You Want From Me?

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Desktop Nexus: Love and Doves

What do you want from me!?
Why are you there!?
Where did you come from!?
Why do you care!?
Drums to the wind
only noise in the air.
Leave me be!
My conscious is bare!
What do you
…want?
Why do you
…care?
Why am I drawn to you,
my soul remembering a life we shared?
A life shrouded in shadows,
a life seen through eyes, kaleidoscope pair.
Music to the wind,
angels singing softly through the air.
Take what you want
my heart is lost to a love beyond compare.

Copyright 2017 Heidi Barnes

One of those poems that popped in my head and I have no idea where it came from. Maybe from one of the stories I’ve got stewing in the back of my head trying to get my attention.