Angst of a Writer

I see voices in my head
All talking at once
All wanting attention I cannot give
Demanding that I write their words
See their pain
Live their joy
Share their journey
So others may enjoy.
Worn down I take my pen
Situate my paper
and listen….
I re-situate my paper
and listen….
I lay my pen down
Put my head in my hands
Praying for inspiration
Coherent thought
Silence ensues
Tension rises
All eyes narrow
Growls of frustration
Words hissed, best not repeated
As over in the corner
In an overstuffed arm chair
Filing her nails
A glass of chardonnay
Box of chocolates
on the table beside her
My muse sits.
The one who translates
Into flowing words
Her eyes glued to the TV
Watching Game of Thrones
A grizzly scene
Yet another red wedding
Unawares that in a moment
Fantasy may very well become

Copyright 2017 Heidi Barnes

Coin of My Choice

Do you die for tomorrow

Or live another day

Do weep in sorrow

Or laugh at your prey

When choices you make

Impact my destination

Payment must be paid

Repercussion wide spread

Coin of my choice

Life’s blood release

Hide if you must

In the end I will find you

Run if you must

In the end I will win

Copyright © 2017 Heidi Barnes

One Ring

Into the night I roam,
demons created in pain and malcontent
close on my heels,
my death they hunger
their master’s only edict.
So many sacrifices,
friendships forged,
only to be lost in the chaos
one piece of gold compelled.
Alone I go,
no one else will I lose
to this mission of futility.
Through war and greed
I travel on.
Into the fire
I must go,
for only then
will this madness end.

Copyright 2017 Heidi Barnes


You seek redemption
I cannot give
Your crimes to numerous
The atrocities wide spread.
Payment must be received
Though no coin will be paid
Vengeance never is sweet
To those deserving its touch
You deny the possibility
Yet it will come for you
No shadow darkness thick
No hole deep enough
I wait until then
Redemption’s price revealed
Justice made real

Copyright 2017 Heidi Barnes

My Writing Story

Annie from Writing Outside the Lines asked us to talk about our writing journey. I know I’ve talked about it some, but I thought I would go into a little more detail.

My journey began in 8th grade. I had different stories bouncing around my head for years, I just never thought to write them down. Until my teacher wrote a small paragraph for our daily journal and the floodgates opened.

I learned how to format sentences in English class and I read, alot. I also kept writing. It didn’t matter what the subject was. It was in my head and I wrote it down. I look back on some of that early writing and cringe. In my defense, I was a teenager.

I started writing Obsession in college. Orginally it was about 100 pages. I finished it, moved on to other things. New and old stories, boys, homework, work. Eventually I moved to the big city. Don’t remember writing too much during that time. I did read though. Loved to read. Historical romance, fantasy, sci-fi.

Then I met my husband and we started a family. Once the kids were semi-self suffcient, I picked up Obsession and read it. Yikes! And so started the first of many many re-writes.

I have a friend who read Obsession during one of those writings when I was a little over halfway through. She told me she noticed a difference in my writing. She couldn’t quite describe it, just that it was better. I knew why. When I write I listen to music. I’ve made playlists by recording songs from 45s (for you young-uns that is a mini vinyl record) and albums I bought or borrowed. I still have those tapes. What changed is that I started writing to the soundtrack to Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Rings (FOTR). For some reason the music spoke to me. Still does. That’s when I started to listen to more soundtracks. I still have my playlist with new songs that play on the radio that I listen to over and over. Music, the tone of the songs always helps, but back to the writing.

400 pages and I think, I’m done! Nope.

I start allowing others to read my book. I received good reviews and there were those who said I should publish. I was still fearful of opening myself up to strangers and it took me a while to get up the courage. Then one of those I let read Obsession asked me a question. Why? Why was Alex the way he was? 400 pages turned into four books. I began to send out letters to publishers, only one bit amd they decided in the end not to give me a publishing deal. So I re-wrote again. Ling story short I decided to self publish and here I am.

Well, enough from me. Everyone has a story and it would be interesting to hear yours. Give Annie’s prompt a try. If not this one, then try one of her others on Writing Outside the Lines.

Have a wonderful week. 🙂

Coming Soon – Legacy

Book 5 of the Obsession Series


Justus Tremmel. Playboy, hero, risk taker, lover. All the things his father was except one. Responsible CEO of one of the most powerful empires in the world. At twenty-three everyone expected him to take over the company sooner rather than later, a job Jesse was doing his best to run away from. That was until a mere slip of girl captured his heart and the attention of those who wanted him dead and his family ruined. Will he be able to walk away from Sara, or will he follow in his father’s footsteps? Keeping the woman he loves locked away, never to see her family and friends again. Will any of it be enough to keep her safe?

Sara Reese had her future planned out. Finish college and move as far away from the small quiet town she grew up in to live in the big city where excitement was around every corner. That was until Justus Tremmel inadvertently gave her a taste of his world and the dangers surrounding it. Now hunted by the ones who wish to see the Tremmels ruined, Sara must decide whether she wants to stay in the comfort of what she knows, or dive headlong into a world she barely understands and wants her dead.

Grass, grass and more grass.

Summer is here with a vengeance. It’s suppose to be 93F today. Bleh! While I like heat, that is a bit too much heat, and it won’t help my new grass any.

I know I haven’t blogged in a while about my garden, but that doesn’t mean we haven’t been busy. After weed & feeding, putting lime and a layer of 1/2 & 1/2 mix of compost and sand down on the spots that can’t seem to grow grass if it’s life depended on it, we seeded the entire lawn. Then commenced the watching, waiting and endless watering. Of course once we laid the seed, it turned 85F and the rain that never seem to end came in sporadic spurts. Go figure! 😛 After a month and some change, we now have grass in areas that haven’t had grass in a long time. A lot of that had to do with the fir trees. Needles do not help growth of grass. In fact, it can kill it. That and not enough sun. Now that the trees on one side of the house are gone we have lots of sun and a lot less needles.


Before: This is an area I weeded and meant to seed last year.


After: Finally seeded, it’s looking a lot better.


Before: There are dead spots in the yard.


Dead spots gone!

As you can see, there are still some areas that need to grow. Those are the areas that have a lot of sun and were hard to keep wet when we were working all day. I figure we’ll put seed down this fall and see what happens. Although, as I was mowing the lawn the other day, I realized something. I have added a 1/4 again the grass I once had, so more to mow. Maybe I should have thought this through a bit more….. 😐

The rest of the yard is finally coming under control. It was hard to get out there with all the rain. Although, I did go out in the rain a couple of times. I figured, why not? If I didn’t I’d still be under the weeds.

We just had some of the fir trees limbed up because they were too close to the house, and a couple taken out behind the shed because they were dying. The down side, what was once shaded and so planted for shade is now in the afternoon sun. I can hear the plants cursing me now. 😛


SUN!! Well, there will be this afternoon.


There is a Hemlock missing and the other two trees have been limbed up about 10 feet so they are off the roof of the house.

Well, that’s all for now. Summer is just beginning and there is lots more to do.

Have a wonderful day. 🙂


Feelings so deep
threatening to overwhelm
nowhere to show them
nowhere to run
how do I express
when I don’t understand
what I want
what I need
what I feel
how do I overcome
the unknown

Fated to Be (Book 2)

Well, it’s here! I have finally published book two of my Destiny series. Where it is not yet on Amazon (there is a 3-5 business day process for the physical book) you can buy it on CreateSpace here. The Kindle Version should be up on Amazon shortly. I will put the link up on the Destiny Series page as soon as it goes live there.

I’m so excited!

Fated to Be Cover

Never say never.

Not everything is set in stone, and not everyone is who they seem to be. Life throws you curve-balls and people change. Some for good, some for evil.

Emma Kessler’s life has been anything but easy, and there are those who threaten to take what little peace she has carved out of the chaos that surrounds her and destroy it. What she does not expect are those she trusts with her heart to turn their backs on her when she needs them the most. All because of a destiny she never wanted.