I Don’t Understand

I don’t understand
why people hate so easily.
I don’t understand
why we can’t get along.
I understand
people are different.
Different colors
different cultures
different beliefs.
I understand
some people do not like different.
Do not like the unknown
do not like change.
I don’t understand
why we hate so easily.
I think many truly do not understand
what hate is.
When I was young, I used the word hate freely.
I hate the color pink…
I hate when it’s too hot…
I hate Brussel sprouts…
I hate…you.
Until…
One glace
from eyes the blue of midnight skies.
One word
falsely uttered with the innocence of a newborn lamb.
One quirk from lips
which truth is as foreign as the deepest parts of space.
Such small simple gestures
sent a tidal wave of rage so strong
my knees threaten to cave.
My site dimmed
covered with the hazy red from the deepest pits
of hell.
My body trembled as if the earth itself
shook with my rage.
My voice squeezed down, down, down
until a hoarse whisper was my only sound.
Those around me did not understand.
Those around me did not see
the man who had destroyed so many lives.
Who had wrote misery and grief
death and chaos
most of all, fear
so he remained free.
Only then did I truly understand
the word hate.
How I had used the word in haste.
In disregard for the power
that single word held.
Now
I dislike pink.
I prefer a warm breeze to the hot sun.
As for Brussels sprouts…well
the word hate may still pertain
or at least a strong gag inducing distaste.
Most of all
I do not hate you.
Not for your differences,
not for your beliefs,
not because your way of seeing things is unusual
to what others may think as the straight and narrow.
I am willing to learn
what I don’t understand
because hate is a word, an emotion
I only reserve
for those people, places or things
that have truly earned the label of
hate.

© Copywrite 2021 Heidi Barnes

Sweet Words Devil’s Work

I ask you
why do you persist?
I ask you
Why do you resist?

You tell me
this is my choice by right
You tell me
this is my soul’s plight

I wonder
do you see the truth
I wonder
does ignorance bleed youth

You follow
walking blindly into darkness
You follow
walking where evil harkens

I see
the danger ahead
I see
the traps they set

You don’t hear
evil’s lies
You don’t hear
angel’s cries

Evil dressed as good
is still evil under the hood
Be careful of sweet words
that pull you into the devils work.

© Copywrite 2021 Heidi Barnes

Spring has Sprung

Spring as sprung

the birds chirp

the frogs burp

Spring has sprung

the grass needs mowing

the weeds are growing…..

Spring has sprung

the sky is blue

the flowers bloom

Spring has sprung

the mood is lite

words at last take flight

© Copywrite 2021 Heidi Barnes

Someone Dies Tonight

Witches scream
fires bright
someone will die tonight.
Chaos reigns
while demons play
there is only one god tonight.
Devil spawn
chant deep magic
as shadows stretch in firelight
dark secrets revealed,
someone will die tonight
Struggling, pleading
deaf ears it falls
Crying out to a god
with words they were taught
who seems to care naught.
You are naïve,
they say
You have hope where hope is no more,
they say.
Give in
give him
your undying devotion
your hope
your soul.
Give him everything you are
you were
will be,
no one will die tonight.
One last chance
one last phrase,
no one will die tonight.
Silence ensues
breath held tight,
cracking flame breaks the night
With one last word
one last phrase,
someone died tonight.

© 2021 Heidi Barnes

Secret Dreams

One step
long, silky
black as night.
All eyes turn
breath stills.
Eyes hooded,
blood red lips
smile.
She is night
She is desire
She is all men’s dreams
deep in the darkness
where secrets lie
waiting for a spark
to set them afire.
Slight shift,
tongues slowly slide
wetting lips
suddenly dry.
Full of possibilities
unknown danger.
Who will fall
prey to a strangers
desire.

Open Your Eyes

I try.
Every day,
I try.
Yet,
it’s never enough.
I see what I want,
feel the rush of love
a warmth that envelops me
soothes me
lifts me.
Yet,
I cannot reach you.
Don’t you feel it too?
Can’t you see
all I want is for you to feel
what I know is true
what is real.
Fly with me.
All you have to do is
open your eyes and
see.

© 2021 Heidi Barnes


My Decision

My mind is a jumble.
I don’t know who I am
where I should be
what purpose I have.
The world uncertain,
I stare at nothing
while seeing everything.
Do I throw caution to the wind,
live without care or worry
or shall I stay trapped
within my fears
too timid to see
who I really can be?
No one can help me
but me
for it is my decision
to be.

© Copyright 2020 Heidi Barnes

Gardening – Summer Project #2

Well, I’m not sure if the first one was an actual project. Seven yards of compost on all the gardens in April. Eight yards of dirt around the yard and filling in the round bed in May and a lot of Preen in those areas that I don’t want things growing. (Spring Project) While compost is usually a bi-yearly job for most, I haven’t put any down in a very long time, and you could tell. Now everything is growing wonderfully. I do think the two or three weeks of hot sunny weather we got om April helped a lot. We usually aren’t in the 80’sF that early. It also meant a wet cold spring. Well, actually the cold went until halfway through July. Nice and hot now though. We still have some areas where the grass is having issues, but we plan on reseeding in the fall.

For project number two, we decided to put a Pergola on the hot tub pad. When we moved in there was a hot tub under an eighty foot cedar tree. While I loved the hot tub I did not like the spiders or the mess, even with a lid, in the hot tub. It was also old, so after a few years it decided that it wasn’t going to work anymore. So it went bye bye not to be replaced. The tree was damaged in a huge storm and had to be cut down before it fell down. So since then the pad has been tiled, untiled, then black rubber squares that you piece together we bought a Costco. Something to make it not look like a giant square of cement.

What is great about this product is that it covers a multitude of issues. Like all the grout we were too lazy to chip off. It worked until we finally figured out what to do with the space. After a few years the black rubber comes off and we spend hours annoying the hell out of the neighbors and every animal within a mile radius by grinding all the grout off. (By we, I mean my husband. he he he) But now we have a clean slate. Time to put up the Pergola we bought off of Amazon.

This product is engineered. We wanted something like our deck where we did not have to worry about staining and rot.

Although under the posts there are wood 4×4’s that are bolted into the cement to hold it up.

Then you wrap those posts with wood so the sleeves you slide over these posts do not wobble.

After that it’s a puzzle you put together. As you can see we also re-tiled the floor with lite non-slip tile that has a wood look to it.

Then we added lights and furniture we already had for the space. Now all we need is the world to return to normal so we can have a party! *sigh*

On to the next project so we can keep some semblance of sanity as we try to survive the pandemic!

Stay safe!

Heidi

© 2020

Do You See Yourself?

I see you
standing among the trees,
aware of the pain
surrounding you.
Uncaring that you
are its cause.
What are you waiting for?
Are you waiting for me?
Do you think I could forget?
Forgive?
The wisest of us are wrong.
Time does not heal all wounds.
It just wears you down
until the burden of pain
is too heavy to carry any longer.
Until one day the anger
the hurt
seems to fade away,
until I see you.
Does this mean I forgive?
No….
Forgiveness is a privilege
you have not earned,
may never earn.
Does this mean I forget?
Only for my sake
my sanity
will I dwell no longer
on memories wrought by selfishness,
by betrayal.
You, however, must carry the burden,
shoulder the pain
of what you have done.
I see you,
but do you see yourself
or do you walk the forest
blind to what you did,
what you are
what you have become?
Look into the mirror
tell me honestly
can you forget,
Can you forgive yourself?
Or will you continue
uncaring
of the pain you cause?

Copyright © 2020 Heidi Barnes