When Words are Not Enough

What do you say when you know in your heart there are words that will uplift, show compassion…heal, yet they do not come? When the emotion that you feel inside cannot not be conveyed in words, but words are the only way you can express what you are feeling? When the words “I understand”, “I have been where you are”, “I love you” is not enough? How do you say what you cannot show when words are not enough.

Copyright 2017 Heidi Barnes

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Forever Lost: Explanation

Okay, so I added a page to my site for this story, but for whatever reason it will not show up for people to click on so I thought I would at least post what I put on it so you would understand where the story came from.

Forever Lost started as a free write given by Kellie Elmore on her website http://www.kellieelmore.com around 2010.

For those who do not know what a free write is, it is when you are given a prompt and you write to that prompt. For example, an image either photo or drawing can work. A word bank, which can be made up of around five or six random words that you put together in a story or poem. Or it can be a phrase, poem, short story. There are probably hundreds of types of prompts out there, I have only listed a few. The one rule is you write until to you stop and that is what you post on her website. (I will admit to going back and fixing typos, maybe a comma or two, but what is there is what comes to mind as I write.) Kellie has given many prompts that have interested my muse and sparked pieces of stories, a couple that have grown into more than just the free write it was suppose to be, which I put on my old website An Author and her Muse. Once I started to write here I decided to take it down because I could not keep up with two websites. It’s been pushing at me to repost it for sometime and I finally gave in.

Forever Lost sort of wrote itself. Under the original title Angels & Demons, as an experiment I put the rough draft on my website and wrote at least a chapter a week. I have never written something this quickly. I also showed my writing process which shows just because it is written in chapter two, it does not mean it is necessarily written in stone. I learn my characters as I write, just like you learn about them as you read. They grow as I write and even surprise me with some of their decisions. Decisions that make something that happened earlier in the book not work. So in come the edits.

This version is the last edit of book one. Hopefully the final edit, but knowing me…. 😀 Some things have changed since that first rough draft, some have not. Since I have not read this story in sometime, we will see what happens. I’m hoping not much because I hate throwing out pages. I will try to post a chapter a week.

Here is the prompt that was given to us on the day Forever Lost was born.

You’re young. You are standing in front of a shop window watching something on the black and white television inside. A woman grabs your hand and runs down the street, pulling you along…

I’d be interested to see what your story your muse weaves. Now, enough talk and on to Forever Lost.

Now if I can ever figure out why the page won’t show and get it up and running, I will add a link to each new chapter as I post it on here. As for now, it’s been one of those evenings where everything that could go wrong has so I am going to call it a night and go to bed before I burn the house down! 😛

Goodnight. 🙂

Prologue

 

Copyright © 2017 Heidi Barnes

I’m Too Old to Chase Rabbits

My dog, Jack, is getting on in age. It has been thirteen years since we went to choose between him and his brother. It was and easy choice. Jack was full of energy and wanted to play. His brother found the nearest object, ran under the truck and began to chew on it. Yeah…exuberant it was! Now, where he still has energy, it’s a little more subtle and his hearing isn’t what it used to be.

In the last couple of weeks the rabbits, or stew meat as I lovingly call them through gritted teeth, have come out in force. I’ve had as many as four in the yard at once, and those are just the ones I can see. I wonder where all the coyotes have gone. Have they suddenly sworn off rabbit? I hear it’s rather tasty.

Now before I receive comments about how cute and cuddly rabbits are, I thought the same thing until they ate $200 worth of plants I had just planted. Needless to say I was not amused.

Now that you have some back story, here is what happened a few days ago.

Jack is sleeping on his bed when I see one of the vermin called rabbit in the yard eating grass a little to close to my flowerbed for my comfort.

Me: Jack! Rabbit!

No response.

Me, a little louder: Jack! There’s a rabbit!

Jack’s head comes up: Rabbit?

I head for the slider and he follows as I wind him up to chase the rabbit. Now there is an art to opening the slider and not having the dog slam into it as he bolts out the opening like a race horse. You have to time it right and be wicked fast. I brace myself. Jack crouches down, ready to spring forward. I slide the door open and…

He sticks his head out the door. Slightly anti-climactic. Although lately he has been thinking about running more than actually doing.

Jack stares at the rabbit who is now frozen in hopes that he won’t be seen.

Me, very exuberantly: Rabbit! (Because that one word says it all.)

Jack: Yes, that is a rabbit.

Me: Go get the rabbit!

Jack gives me a look that seems to say: You do remember the last time I chased one of those things. I had to be carried back because my joints aren’t what they used to be. Very embaressing.

The rabbit is still frozen in the lawn.

Me: Come on, Jack. Get the rabbit!

Jack looks back at the rabbit then very non-chalantly walks out the door and to the left, NOT towards the rabbit: I’m going out front.

As Jack disappears around the corner of the house, the rabbit resumes eating, and I’m left wondering what just happened.

Have a wonderful week.
Copyright 2017 Heidi Barnes

Here is a little side story that my friend Suzanne Carey wrote after she read this piece. We have a mutual friend/bane-of-my-existence called Suzi. She is a fairy that tries hard to do good things, but somehow they always manage to go…sideways. Here is Suzi and her attempt to help me with my little rabbit problem. Chasing Rabbits.

Distractions

I knew it was a mistake. Knew what would happen, yet I did it anyways. *sigh* When will I learn? The upside is I don’t regret it. I needed the break. The downside is I didn’t get done everything I wanted to do this summer. What is it that I’ve done? Instead of starting to write the next book, like I should have done when I finished the last one in June, I decided to pick up my Kindle and read for a bit. I love to read, and to be honest I needed the break from writing and editing. I felt like my brain was going to melt. My mistake was deciding to re-read a series that I really like. A 25 book series I might add. Not a good thing when one wants to get somethings done around the house.

What happened was a new book came out, and as I was reading it I was having a hard time remembering everyone and their stories. I don’t mind re-reading books, especially when they are good. I also like long series because if I like the world I’m reading about then I don’t really want to leave it and want to learn about everyone in it. So, I am now on book nine and I only started the re-read a little over two weeks ago. That is slow for me as I’ve had to stop myself and do some painting and other chores that I have put off until the last minute. What I should have been doing is editing the first 45 pages of the next book in my Destiny series, blogging about my garden, writing poems or short stories. None of which have been done, much. I guess I really did need that break.

Well, off to do those things that need to be done in life… or many just one more chapter…..

Have a wonderful day!

Heidi

Coming Soon – Legacy

Book 5 of the Obsession Series

Legacy

Justus Tremmel. Playboy, hero, risk taker, lover. All the things his father was except one. Responsible CEO of one of the most powerful empires in the world. At twenty-three everyone expected him to take over the company sooner rather than later, a job Jesse was doing his best to run away from. That was until a mere slip of girl captured his heart and the attention of those who wanted him dead and his family ruined. Will he be able to walk away from Sara, or will he follow in his father’s footsteps? Keeping the woman he loves locked away, never to see her family and friends again. Will any of it be enough to keep her safe?

Sara Reese had her future planned out. Finish college and move as far away from the small quiet town she grew up in to live in the big city where excitement was around every corner. That was until Justus Tremmel inadvertently gave her a taste of his world and the dangers surrounding it. Now hunted by the ones who wish to see the Tremmels ruined, Sara must decide whether she wants to stay in the comfort of what she knows, or dive headlong into a world she barely understands and wants her dead.

Grass, grass and more grass.

Summer is here with a vengeance. It’s suppose to be 93F today. Bleh! While I like heat, that is a bit too much heat, and it won’t help my new grass any.

I know I haven’t blogged in a while about my garden, but that doesn’t mean we haven’t been busy. After weed & feeding, putting lime and a layer of 1/2 & 1/2 mix of compost and sand down on the spots that can’t seem to grow grass if it’s life depended on it, we seeded the entire lawn. Then commenced the watching, waiting and endless watering. Of course once we laid the seed, it turned 85F and the rain that never seem to end came in sporadic spurts. Go figure! 😛 After a month and some change, we now have grass in areas that haven’t had grass in a long time. A lot of that had to do with the fir trees. Needles do not help growth of grass. In fact, it can kill it. That and not enough sun. Now that the trees on one side of the house are gone we have lots of sun and a lot less needles.

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Before: This is an area I weeded and meant to seed last year.

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After: Finally seeded, it’s looking a lot better.

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Before: There are dead spots in the yard.

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Dead spots gone!

As you can see, there are still some areas that need to grow. Those are the areas that have a lot of sun and were hard to keep wet when we were working all day. I figure we’ll put seed down this fall and see what happens. Although, as I was mowing the lawn the other day, I realized something. I have added a 1/4 again the grass I once had, so more to mow. Maybe I should have thought this through a bit more….. 😐

The rest of the yard is finally coming under control. It was hard to get out there with all the rain. Although, I did go out in the rain a couple of times. I figured, why not? If I didn’t I’d still be under the weeds.

We just had some of the fir trees limbed up because they were too close to the house, and a couple taken out behind the shed because they were dying. The down side, what was once shaded and so planted for shade is now in the afternoon sun. I can hear the plants cursing me now. 😛

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SUN!! Well, there will be this afternoon.

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There is a Hemlock missing and the other two trees have been limbed up about 10 feet so they are off the roof of the house.

Well, that’s all for now. Summer is just beginning and there is lots more to do.

Have a wonderful day. 🙂

Fated to Be (Book 2)

Well, it’s here! I have finally published book two of my Destiny series. Where it is not yet on Amazon (there is a 3-5 business day process for the physical book) you can buy it on CreateSpace here. The Kindle Version should be up on Amazon shortly. I will put the link up on the Destiny Series page as soon as it goes live there.

I’m so excited!

Fated to Be Cover

Never say never.

Not everything is set in stone, and not everyone is who they seem to be. Life throws you curve-balls and people change. Some for good, some for evil.

Emma Kessler’s life has been anything but easy, and there are those who threaten to take what little peace she has carved out of the chaos that surrounds her and destroy it. What she does not expect are those she trusts with her heart to turn their backs on her when she needs them the most. All because of a destiny she never wanted.

Fated to Be (book 2 in my Destiny series)

It’s almost here! Just a few more finishing touches and I should have it published on Amazon.com next week! Yeah!

Fated to Be Cover

Never say never.
Not everything is set in stone, and not everyone is who they seem to be. Life throws you curve-balls and people change. Some for good, some for evil.
Emma Kessler’s life has been anything but easy, and there are those who threaten to take what little peace she has carved out of the chaos that surrounds her and destroy it. What she does not expect are those she trusts with her heart to turn their backs on her when she needs them the most. All because of a destiny she never wanted.

Date Night

It’s Friday! This means two things to me. One, the weekend is finally here. We only have 32 more days of school (that is not counting weekends and Memorial break) and I will be off for the summer, but at the moment it seems a long way off. Two, it’s date night. My husband and I started this about seven years ago when the kids were in collage. We said we were practicing for when they moved out. They weren’t sure how to take that. LOL

So, date night. This consists of me driving down to the mall where there are restaurants and a big theater where my husband meets me once he gets off of work. This means I can have a drink, or two, during dinner, see a movie and be alright to drive home. Tonight my hubby was suppose to be here around 5-5:30, but because it’s the end of the month and they are trying to finish shipping product he called to say he’s running an hour late. No big deal. Some chips and guacamole with a drink and I’m good to wait. Also gives me a chance to finally blog.

I could go into how it’s been a long cold wet winter and the fact I work in a school where sickness runs rampant, but why be morbid. It’s date night! Let’s talk about alcohol.

I’ve always been a rum amd coke gal. Rarely deviated with the exception of my college days when Southern Comfort would sneak in on the weekends. Ah, those were the days…I think. Kind of fuzzy really. 😛 Recently I decided to branch out. My mom made me martini with gin. Can I just saw EEEWWWW! Not only does it make me sneeze, smells like fir which I’m allergic to, I’m farely certain I could suck on the Juniper bush and get the same taste a lot cheaper. Now vodka martinis are a different matter. My mom calls me a woose for not drinking gin, but at least I can swallow the stuff. Being a sweet drinker I like flavored martinis, pomegranate being my favorite. Maggianos has the best.

My oldest found out I had never had a Long Island Ice Tea and set out to remedy that oversight. I see where the danger lies. It’s so easy to just suck it down as if it were coolaid. I was limited to one. Just don’t have that college tolerance anymore. Another my mom suggested, which I had tonight, is a Whiskey Sour. She told me to be careful because they sneak up on you. I didn’t head her warning the first time. I do now.

Although my new favorite drink is a Mule. It consists of ginger beer (non-alcoholic), lime juice and the liquer of your choice. Where it is not sweet I do like it.

So now I wait. Not sure what movie we will see. Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 2 doesn’t come out until next weekend. It’s one of the ones we’ve been waiting for. So I will say adieu. Have a wonderful weekend! Until next time.

Sad Love Songs

Okay, so maybe my melancholy thoughts could be blamed on the fact I’ve been listening to a playlist I have dubbed Love Forsaken. Yeah.

So there are a lot of us out there that write to music. We have favorite albums or make up playlists. Or we just try and find that sound that clicks with what we are writing and go with it. When one of my favorite writers gets desperate and can’t find that right sound she turns on the Christmas music. I did try that once. Can’t write a love, angry or fight scene to Christmas music. Just can’t do it. 😛

Anyways, the scene today wasn’t necessarily a love scene, but I needed that feeling of angst in order to put the right words down to convey right feeling. This playlist, as all of my playlists, is work in progress. I’m sure I’ll remember some more songs that need to go into it. Here are the ones I have now.

Say Something by A Great Big World feat. Christina Aguilera
Show Me the Meaning by Backstreet Boys (Yes, I am reaching deep into my past for some of these, which reminds me….)
Stay by Rihanna feat. Mikky Ekko
Wide Awake by Katy Perry
Hello by Lionel Richie
Rise by Katy Perry
Father Figure by George Michael
Grenade by Bruno Mars
Unconditionally by Katy Perry

And last but not least Here Comes Goodbye by Rascal Flatts. This particular song it about a break-up, but the video is something much different. If I have the song playing in the background I can make it through without dissolving into tears. The video not so much. If you watch it you will see why. This particular video hits far too close to home. I will say my dad is still very much alive and leave it at that. If you decide to watch the video you will understand that some pains will fade with time and might even disappear. Others…others only stay hidden until the right memory, the right picture or the right song comes along and opens that jagged wound that barely holds itself together to once again overwhelm you as if it were the first day.

Time for some Kleenex.

Here is the link for the video on YouTube if you care to take a look. Here Comes Goodbye.

It’s time for me to get back to writing. Have a good weekend.