Witches scream fires bright someone will die tonight. Chaos reigns while demons play there is only one god tonight. Devil spawn chant deep magic as shadows stretch in firelight dark secrets revealed, someone will die tonight Struggling, pleading deaf ears it falls Crying out to a god with words they were taught who seems to care naught. You are naïve, they say You have hope where hope is no more, they say. Give in give him your undying devotion your hope your soul. Give him everything you are you were will be, no one will die tonight. One last chance one last phrase, no one will die tonight. Silence ensues breath held tight, cracking flame breaks the night With one last word one last phrase, someone died tonight.
One step long, silky black as night. All eyes turn breath stills. Eyes hooded, blood red lips smile. She is night She is desire She is all men’s dreams deep in the darkness where secrets lie waiting for a spark to set them afire. Slight shift, tongues slowly slide wetting lips suddenly dry. Full of possibilities unknown danger. Who will fall prey to a strangers desire.
I try. Every day, I try. Yet, it’s never enough. I see what I want, feel the rush of love a warmth that envelops me soothes me lifts me. Yet, I cannot reach you. Don’t you feel it too? Can’t you see all I want is for you to feel what I know is true what is real. Fly with me. All you have to do is open your eyes and see.
Sometimes you have to embrace the pain or it will consume you. For there is some pain time will not heal only dull until one day it consumes you again.
My mind is a jumble. I don’t know who I am where I should be what purpose I have. The world uncertain, I stare at nothing while seeing everything. Do I throw caution to the wind, live without care or worry or shall I stay trapped within my fears too timid to see who I really can be? No one can help me but me for it is my decision to be.
Well, I’m not sure if the first one was an actual project. Seven yards of compost on all the gardens in April. Eight yards of dirt around the yard and filling in the round bed in May and a lot of Preen in those areas that I don’t want things growing. (Spring Project) While compost is usually a bi-yearly job for most, I haven’t put any down in a very long time, and you could tell. Now everything is growing wonderfully. I do think the two or three weeks of hot sunny weather we got om April helped a lot. We usually aren’t in the 80’sF that early. It also meant a wet cold spring. Well, actually the cold went until halfway through July. Nice and hot now though. We still have some areas where the grass is having issues, but we plan on reseeding in the fall.
For project number two, we decided to put a Pergola on the hot tub pad. When we moved in there was a hot tub under an eighty foot cedar tree. While I loved the hot tub I did not like the spiders or the mess, even with a lid, in the hot tub. It was also old, so after a few years it decided that it wasn’t going to work anymore. So it went bye bye not to be replaced. The tree was damaged in a huge storm and had to be cut down before it fell down. So since then the pad has been tiled, untiled, then black rubber squares that you piece together we bought a Costco. Something to make it not look like a giant square of cement.
What is great about this product is that it covers a multitude of issues. Like all the grout we were too lazy to chip off. It worked until we finally figured out what to do with the space. After a few years the black rubber comes off and we spend hours annoying the hell out of the neighbors and every animal within a mile radius by grinding all the grout off. (By we, I mean my husband. he he he) But now we have a clean slate. Time to put up the Pergola we bought off of Amazon.
This product is engineered. We wanted something like our deck where we did not have to worry about staining and rot.
Although under the posts there are wood 4×4’s that are bolted into the cement to hold it up.
Then you wrap those posts with wood so the sleeves you slide over these posts do not wobble.
After that it’s a puzzle you put together. As you can see we also re-tiled the floor with lite non-slip tile that has a wood look to it.
Then we added lights and furniture we already had for the space. Now all we need is the world to return to normal so we can have a party! *sigh*
On to the next project so we can keep some semblance of sanity as we try to survive the pandemic!
I see you standing among the trees, aware of the pain surrounding you. Uncaring that you are its cause. What are you waiting for? Are you waiting for me? Do you think I could forget? Forgive? The wisest of us are wrong. Time does not heal all wounds. It just wears you down until the burden of pain is too heavy to carry any longer. Until one day the anger the hurt seems to fade away, until I see you. Does this mean I forgive? No…. Forgiveness is a privilege you have not earned, may never earn. Does this mean I forget? Only for my sake my sanity will I dwell no longer on memories wrought by selfishness, by betrayal. You, however, must carry the burden, shoulder the pain of what you have done. I see you, but do you see yourself or do you walk the forest blind to what you did, what you are what you have become? Look into the mirror tell me honestly can you forget, Can you forgive yourself? Or will you continue uncaring of the pain you cause?
Spring sprung early this year, and with Covid 19 shutting everything down a lot if people were able to get ahead start in the yard work. I have posted a couple of projects. The seven yards of compost, the back corner with the shed that has filled in nicely.
Because seven yards of compost wasn’t enough, I ordered seven more yards of 3-way. (For those who don’t know what that is, it is a compost/top soil/sand mix.) Like the compost, when I ordered it it was sunny. When it arrived it was raining….. Sigh. So what I ordered this dirt for was to fill some holes in the grass that refused to grow and to also fill in an area of the garden that has slowly sunk down. Mostly due to weed pulling over the years and taking the dirt with them. Here is a picture of the before. It’s the path within the roundish bed. There are roots showing and the ground is rock hard. You can see where the rocks in the back are layered and holding in the dirt around the Rhody. It also goes down at the back of the patio.
Also, by a large stump we have the ground has sunk down about a foot.
You can see how much dirt I had already put in this area, and I wasn’t done. My husband also voiced his dislike of the rock boarder. To him it was too messy. To me it was a cheap natural fix for a problem. Every time I dug up a rock it went into the border. Ta da! Now I will admit when it comes to my garden that I have worked hard in for many years to make it look the way it does, I may be a little touchy when someone suggests a change. I know, for those who know me, what a surprise!
As it turns out he was right. (Don’t tell him I said that out loud.) It does look much better without the rocks.
We were going back and forth on what to put down for the path to help with the weeds – pavers, stepping stones, gravel – but the more we look at it the more we like the natural look. Yes, it will have weeds and maybe we will change our minds later, but for now I think it’s an opportunity to buy some more shade loving plants to soften up the edges. Such a hardship. 😉
To See What I See 