Fated to Be (book 2 in my Destiny series)

It’s almost here! Just a few more finishing touches and I should have it published on Amazon.com next week! Yeah!

Fated to Be Cover

Never say never.
Not everything is set in stone, and not everyone is who they seem to be. Life throws you curve-balls and people change. Some for good, some for evil.
Emma Kessler’s life has been anything but easy, and there are those who threaten to take what little peace she has carved out of the chaos that surrounds her and destroy it. What she does not expect are those she trusts with her heart to turn their backs on her when she needs them the most. All because of a destiny she never wanted.

Too Many Words

Chaos reigns inside my head

People, places, phrases

Jumbled into one

Big

Mess

I try to untangle

Piece together two by two

Only to snarl them further

Until nothing but emptiness

Remains

Copyright 2017 Heidi Barnes

Whispers in the Dark

Black Passion 2

Desktop Nexus: Black Passion

Whispers in the dark
Touches feather light
Flames singe
Sleepless night
Bodies wound tight
Surging
Building
Detonation
Nirvana
Morning dawn
Bodies cool
Fantasies lived
Reality seeps in
Breaking away
To live again
Until another time
When fires burn bright
In darkest night.

Copywrite © 2017 Heidi Barnes

 

 

Date Night

It’s Friday! This means two things to me. One, the weekend is finally here. We only have 32 more days of school (that is not counting weekends and Memorial break) and I will be off for the summer, but at the moment it seems a long way off. Two, it’s date night. My husband and I started this about seven years ago when the kids were in collage. We said we were practicing for when they moved out. They weren’t sure how to take that. LOL

So, date night. This consists of me driving down to the mall where there are restaurants and a big theater where my husband meets me once he gets off of work. This means I can have a drink, or two, during dinner, see a movie and be alright to drive home. Tonight my hubby was suppose to be here around 5-5:30, but because it’s the end of the month and they are trying to finish shipping product he called to say he’s running an hour late. No big deal. Some chips and guacamole with a drink and I’m good to wait. Also gives me a chance to finally blog.

I could go into how it’s been a long cold wet winter and the fact I work in a school where sickness runs rampant, but why be morbid. It’s date night! Let’s talk about alcohol.

I’ve always been a rum amd coke gal. Rarely deviated with the exception of my college days when Southern Comfort would sneak in on the weekends. Ah, those were the days…I think. Kind of fuzzy really. 😛 Recently I decided to branch out. My mom made me martini with gin. Can I just saw EEEWWWW! Not only does it make me sneeze, smells like fir which I’m allergic to, I’m farely certain I could suck on the Juniper bush and get the same taste a lot cheaper. Now vodka martinis are a different matter. My mom calls me a woose for not drinking gin, but at least I can swallow the stuff. Being a sweet drinker I like flavored martinis, pomegranate being my favorite. Maggianos has the best.

My oldest found out I had never had a Long Island Ice Tea and set out to remedy that oversight. I see where the danger lies. It’s so easy to just suck it down as if it were coolaid. I was limited to one. Just don’t have that college tolerance anymore. Another my mom suggested, which I had tonight, is a Whiskey Sour. She told me to be careful because they sneak up on you. I didn’t head her warning the first time. I do now.

Although my new favorite drink is a Mule. It consists of ginger beer (non-alcoholic), lime juice and the liquer of your choice. Where it is not sweet I do like it.

So now I wait. Not sure what movie we will see. Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 2 doesn’t come out until next weekend. It’s one of the ones we’ve been waiting for. So I will say adieu. Have a wonderful weekend! Until next time.

Are You Sure?

Mistakes made

Lessons learned

Time goes by

Memory fades

Stories told

Twist, change

Lessons once learned

Forgotten with age

Go ahead

I dare you

Poke the beast

It only sleeps

Poke the beast

Chains hold it in its keep

Poke the beast

See what arrogance brings

Poke the beast

It may be the last you see

© 2017 Heidi Barnes

It was nothing special

A look

A smile

A memory to sweet to forget

And I’m right back to that day

Where everything fell apart

When you were taken from me

And I was lost

The darkness swallowing me whole

Crushing me

until I could not breathe

When life

Stopped

© 2017 Heidi Barnes

Sad Love Songs

Okay, so maybe my melancholy thoughts could be blamed on the fact I’ve been listening to a playlist I have dubbed Love Forsaken. Yeah.

So there are a lot of us out there that write to music. We have favorite albums or make up playlists. Or we just try and find that sound that clicks with what we are writing and go with it. When one of my favorite writers gets desperate and can’t find that right sound she turns on the Christmas music. I did try that once. Can’t write a love, angry or fight scene to Christmas music. Just can’t do it. 😛

Anyways, the scene today wasn’t necessarily a love scene, but I needed that feeling of angst in order to put the right words down to convey right feeling. This playlist, as all of my playlists, is work in progress. I’m sure I’ll remember some more songs that need to go into it. Here are the ones I have now.

Say Something by A Great Big World feat. Christina Aguilera
Show Me the Meaning by Backstreet Boys (Yes, I am reaching deep into my past for some of these, which reminds me….)
Stay by Rihanna feat. Mikky Ekko
Wide Awake by Katy Perry
Hello by Lionel Richie
Rise by Katy Perry
Father Figure by George Michael
Grenade by Bruno Mars
Unconditionally by Katy Perry

And last but not least Here Comes Goodbye by Rascal Flatts. This particular song it about a break-up, but the video is something much different. If I have the song playing in the background I can make it through without dissolving into tears. The video not so much. If you watch it you will see why. This particular video hits far too close to home. I will say my dad is still very much alive and leave it at that. If you decide to watch the video you will understand that some pains will fade with time and might even disappear. Others…others only stay hidden until the right memory, the right picture or the right song comes along and opens that jagged wound that barely holds itself together to once again overwhelm you as if it were the first day.

Time for some Kleenex.

Here is the link for the video on YouTube if you care to take a look. Here Comes Goodbye.

It’s time for me to get back to writing. Have a good weekend.

No Words

There are no words
no thoughts
no actions
that could convey
the depths of my feelings.
Only you can understand
because only you
can see
can feel
can know
me.
-Brynn & Kara

Copyright © 2017 Heidi Barnes

I don’t know if Kara’s story will ever be published, but for the moment it is at the forefront of my mind. For now I suppose it will be told through poems.

Loss Overwhelming

my feet drag
words will not
come
I am lost
wandering aimlessly
a shell
eyes refuse to
focus
I don’t know how
to go on
the ground
is my bed
hard
unforgiving
cold
I don’t know how
to breathe
reaching out
touching
air
curled around myself
I give in
there is no end
only pain
only vast
everlasting
emptiness

Copyright © 2017 Heidi Barnes

When Darkness Falls

When darkness falls
Night creatures crawl
Entice you they will
Promises of riches and thrills
Stay inside where it’s safe and sane
To venture out
May bring blood and pain
You might think yourself brave
You might think yourself invulnerable
But the creatures in the darkness
Can see your mind
They know your weaknesses
They know your fears
Venture if you must
I’ll pray what comes to pass
Will not leave you in tears

Copyright 2017 Heidi Barnes