Tag Archives: chaos

Fated to Be (book 2 in my Destiny series)

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It’s almost here! Just a few more finishing touches and I should have it published on Amazon.com next week! Yeah!

Fated to Be Cover

Never say never.
Not everything is set in stone, and not everyone is who they seem to be. Life throws you curve-balls and people change. Some for good, some for evil.
Emma Kessler’s life has been anything but easy, and there are those who threaten to take what little peace she has carved out of the chaos that surrounds her and destroy it. What she does not expect are those she trusts with her heart to turn their backs on her when she needs them the most. All because of a destiny she never wanted.

Too Many Words

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Chaos reigns inside my head

People, places, phrases

Jumbled into one

Big

Mess

I try to untangle

Piece together two by two

Only to snarl them further

Until nothing but emptiness

Remains

Copyright 2017 Heidi Barnes

Choices and Balance

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In everything, there is a beginning and an end.

Even great mountains rise and fall as time continues to roll on.

Within that time, a delicate balance must be maintained
or all will fall into chaos and ruin.

The universe is no different.

Among the chaos of creation there is still a semblance of balance,
or nothing would be able to form, to grow, to endure.

But what keeps that balance?

Is it divine force, or just chance?

Is it strong and sure,
or just holding on by a thread that is ready to break at any moment?

Do we have centuries, years,
or days before the life we know ends as suddenly as it began?

Is it as simply as a choice between good or evil, right or wrong, love or hate.

Or is it as simple as choosing it embrace both,
because without one the other does not exist.

Copyright 2107 Heidi Barnes

 

Just a Tea Party

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It was an everyday tea party. Nothing seemed amiss with the world, or at least our little corner of it. The sun was shining. The blue of the sky so brilliant that it dazzled the eye. Large white fluffy clouds intermittently drifted across looking like large cotton balls, yet never seemed to float across the face of the sun. The light breeze was warm, stirring the bogavia and large white mums that climbed the trellises around us. Large hats in different pastels to match expensive sheath dresses and matching patent heals. Laughter, small talk, red lipstick smiles, the eyes obscured by large rimmed hats.

Just an everyday tea party in an empty life where nothing goes wrong, yet anything can happen.

A spark in the darkness. Such a little thing. Almost unnoticeable, unless you know where to look. Time moves on, the spark grows into a flame. Coaxed to life by winds of change. Some change is good, some bad. Only time can tell as the emptiness fills whether the flame will light the way, or burn into chaos and ruin.

Feed the flame. Embrace it. Let it burn the emptiness away. What do you have to lose when you have nothing to begin with anyways?

Just an everyday tea party. Large rimmed pastel hats, small talk and laughter.

Blood red lips curve into a smile. The time is right, the pieces in place. The inspecting mass naively compliant. The hat slowly lifts, the smile smug, knowing what is to come and relishing the outcome. Finally eyes come into view. The deepest blue of sapphire flash in the light of the sun. In a nothing life where everything is possible, chaos begins tonight.

Copyright 2016 Heidi Barnes

This in answer to a prompt of mine. Word Bank Prompt. Please, take some time, take a look, and see what tale the words spin for you.

Sleep Elusive – prompt 48

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Source: We Heart It

Sleep. What a wonderful idea. I just wish I could. It had been a long time since I’ve been able to turn my mind off. Around and around on problems that there was nothing I could do anything about. I can’t speak on them, act on them, ignore them. Oh, trust me. I’ve tried. I walked away, been told it was none of my business and to stay out of it. Yet here I was. Standing in the one place I shouldn’t be, contemplating sleep that I knew would never come. Not while the bane of my exsitance was not more than ten feet away on the other side of the wall.

Sighing, I drop my bag on the floor at my feet with a loud thump and rub my face with my hands. What am I doing? It was not the first time I’ve ask this question. Probably won’t be the last. Not until this nightmare was over.

Walking to the bed I sat down heavily on the end. Well, there wasn’t much I could do tonight. Everyone had gone to bed long ago. Only Christian had been awake because he was the only one who knew I was coming, otherwise I would probably be at some hotel. Not a bad idea really, but saying no to the seven year old had been hard if not impossible. I could still see the puppy dog eyes staring at me over the screen as he pleaded with me to help him.

I looked at the wall that seperated me from the catastrophe waiting to happen. I hope Christian was right and the person on the other side was ready to talk. Better yet, listen. Otherwise this would be all for nothing, because if this didn’t work I was washing my hands of the whole mess.

Flopping back on the bed, I knew a lie when I heard one. I should. I was the best of the best when it came to lying. Ask anyone. Yeah, with what waited for me when the sun came up sleep would be an elusive bitch. Might as well unpack. It was going to be a long night.

© 2016 Heidi Barnes

I seem to be on a role with these writing prompts tonight. Not sure what is so special about tonight, but I’ll see how long it lasts. This writing was based on Writing Outside the Lines writing prompt #48. It was also written on my phone. I tried to catch all the typing errors, but I apologize if I missed any.

My Minds Chaos

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I see roses,
I see pants,
I see so many things
running through my head.
When will it stop?
When will it end?
When will I find
peace again?
Inner dialogue,
ranting, raving,
never a moments peace
never the light at the end.
Pushing, prodding
begging to be let loose,
but what will people think?
What will they say?
When they hear my thoughts
in complete disarray.
I don’t know how.
I don’t know when.
These thoughts of mine
will end,
or begin.
I should focus,
try to stay sane,
for there are words
that should never be said.
I try and try
with all my might
to end this reign
of terror that is my plight.
For those who understand
these words I share,
I wish you well
your soul respite.

© 2015 Heidi Barnes

When Do You Say…Enough.

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When is it too much? When do you finally say enough? Some people’s threshold is very high, reaching for the heavens and above. “They have the patience of a saint,” people would say. Others are so low not even Lucifer in his realm can find it, settling in the deep core of the earth to simmer and burn. All it takes is a look or maybe one certain person walking into the room and their patience is gone, flying out the window as if the very demons of hell were nipping at its tail.

There are situations where walking away can be the most difficult act you will ever play. The one that not only will affect your life, but those around you that you thought you loved and those you still do. How do you change your life without destroying theirs? Yet if you don’t change, won’t your life be destroyed? How do you betray those who depend on you in order to keep what little sanity you have left by leaving them in the frozen wasteland that has become life? Or the scalding desert that has become your hell? What is that final act that forces you to say “I have had enough” and you walk away, never to look back.

How many people can you save by saying “No more” to the demon who possesses the power to harm those around them? How many will you sacrifice to end the misery? Strengths come in many levels, many ways. The strength to keep going, to fight that which yearns to destroy everything you hold dear. The strength to say “Enough” and walk away to live, to breathe, another day.

Some say those who refuse to step out of the darkness that has become their lives, that stay and just endure are cowards. Are they? Just because they see no way out. That the demon that holds their life in its hands has every exit sealed shut with vicious words and violence promised to those they love, or to them if they dare to seek the light. Maybe they have been beaten so far down that there is no strength left to fight for what most of us take for granted. Freedom to think and choose for ourselves. Freedom to say, “Enough.”

~ © Heidi Barnes

I See Colors

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I see colors
all shapes and sizes
floating near then far.
I wander aimlessly
grabbing bits and pieces
trying to be cohesive,
just as easily slipping away.

Words are liquid
flowing aimlessly downstream.
Mixing and mingling
for my eye to see.
I pick out a phrase,
a sentence, a name,
each part of a puzzle
the ending yet a haze.

Life is joy,
pleasure, pain.
Never knowing which turn
will bring chaos or serene.
Stop.
Take a breath,
see what lays ahead
for behind is what was,
today a beginning
of a new thread.

~ © Heidi Barnes

This poem came to me as I was driving home from work. I quickly jotted down the first lines, but as those lines came they were not  in order. It’s the way my mind is working lately. Random thoughts, easily distracted from the task at hand. And once that distraction takes hold, I am lost to it. Usually a scenario or like today a poem. Whether these pieces all fit together for one meaning is up to you. For me, I started in chaos and colors and ended with a new thread. Have a beautiful day.