I Don’t Understand

I don’t understand
why people hate so easily.
I don’t understand
why we can’t get along.
I understand
people are different.
Different colors
different cultures
different beliefs.
I understand
some people do not like different.
Do not like the unknown
do not like change.
I don’t understand
why we hate so easily.
I think many truly do not understand
what hate is.
When I was young, I used the word hate freely.
I hate the color pink…
I hate when it’s too hot…
I hate Brussel sprouts…
I hate…you.
Until…
One glace
from eyes the blue of midnight skies.
One word
falsely uttered with the innocence of a newborn lamb.
One quirk from lips
which truth is as foreign as the deepest parts of space.
Such small simple gestures
sent a tidal wave of rage so strong
my knees threaten to cave.
My site dimmed
covered with the hazy red from the deepest pits
of hell.
My body trembled as if the earth itself
shook with my rage.
My voice squeezed down, down, down
until a hoarse whisper was my only sound.
Those around me did not understand.
Those around me did not see
the man who had destroyed so many lives.
Who had wrote misery and grief
death and chaos
most of all, fear
so he remained free.
Only then did I truly understand
the word hate.
How I had used the word in haste.
In disregard for the power
that single word held.
Now
I dislike pink.
I prefer a warm breeze to the hot sun.
As for Brussels sprouts…well
the word hate may still pertain
or at least a strong gag inducing distaste.
Most of all
I do not hate you.
Not for your differences,
not for your beliefs,
not because your way of seeing things is unusual
to what others may think as the straight and narrow.
I am willing to learn
what I don’t understand
because hate is a word, an emotion
I only reserve
for those people, places or things
that have truly earned the label of
hate.

© Copywrite 2021 Heidi Barnes

When Words are Not Enough

What do you say when you know in your heart there are words that will uplift, show compassion…heal, yet they do not come? When the emotion that you feel inside cannot not be conveyed in words, but words are the only way you can express what you are feeling? When the words “I understand”, “I have been where you are”, “I love you” is not enough? How do you say what you cannot show when words are not enough.

Copyright 2017 Heidi Barnes

Loss Overwhelming

my feet drag
words will not
come
I am lost
wandering aimlessly
a shell
eyes refuse to
focus
I don’t know how
to go on
the ground
is my bed
hard
unforgiving
cold
I don’t know how
to breathe
reaching out
touching
air
curled around myself
I give in
there is no end
only pain
only vast
everlasting
emptiness

Copyright © 2017 Heidi Barnes

How do I Tell Them?

“Fill your paper with the breathings of your heart.” ~ William Wordsworth


I see your face

I hear your words

My heart is filled

with emotions not my own

yet still familiar

a part of me.

Who are you?

What do you want from me?

How do I trust

what is not my own?

How do I convey

what I understand as love

hate

sadness

longing

joy

so that others understand

the depth of who you are

and believe?

©2017 Heidi Barnes

This poem was inspired by a writing prompt from the website Writing Outside the Lines. It made me think about my characters and trying to put into words what they are telling and showing me so that my readers see and feel it too.


Stray Thoughts

Stray thoughts invade
all focus lost
scattered to the winds.
Fog descends
moonlight wans
misty trails like skeletal limbs.
Whispered voices
reaching towards me
beckoning me in,
“Step into the darkness
where secrets lie
and the forbidden is
no longer a sin.
Come play with us
till dawn light wins.
Come play within
your darkest dreams.”

~ © Heidi Barnes

Pages of Time

Flipping through
the pages of time.
Reading written words
of my thoughts of mind.
A pattern emerges
through words and letters
of times long gone
yellowed pages
ages settled.
I wonder what dreams
these words will conjure.
Emotions buried deep
long forgotten
till read.
Yet the saying goes
we learn from our past,
what lessons we heed
is our choice
our path.
Sleep will come
whether I will it or not,
to dream a little dream
my mind has forgot.

© 2014 Heidi Barnes

Words

Words.

Written together into thought,

spoken into air,

whether softly so only those closest can hear,

or loudly so the heavens themselves can hear.

They are the window into our hearts,

our souls,

showing how much we love

or how much we hurt.

Hear my words,

let them in,

weaving their own meaning

into your life.

For what meaning they have for me

may not be the same for you,

and that is all right.

 

~ © 2014 Heidi Barnes