Love’s Sacrifice – Part 1

Blue Eyes Innocence
Desktop Nexus: Blue Eyes Innocence

You don’t think I see you
lurking in the shadows,
watching,
waiting.
I remember what you did.
Remember with vivid clarity
every
agonizing
detail.
Your cold eyes
haunt my dreams,
my waking hours.
Go back to the shadows
where creatures of darkness
dwell.
Go back
and haunt me no more.

Copyright 2016 Heidi Barnes

This is something that came to me yesterday while driving. I was listening to Phil Collin’s In The Air Tonight. I let it simmer overnight and began writing this morning with that song playing in the background. The poem seems to have taken on a life of its own. This is only the beginning. There is more.
Much more.

Part 2

Drums Beating in the Night

Drums beating in the night
Thrumming through the walls
Beating in time with my heart
Strengthening duty’s call.
Drums beating in the night
Heralding enemy untold
Striking dread into the soldiers
Telling of death that waits to unfold.
Drums beating in the night
Pounding in time with steel and might.
Drums beating in the night
When sudden silence speaks
In the dawn we will fight.
To go into history
Brave and valiant soldiers be
To save loved ones
To assure they are free
From those who’s beliefs and might
Give them convictions blight
That only their ways are virtuous and precise.
That those who stray
From path straight and true
Need to be punished
For thoughts deemed impure.
Drums beating in the dawn
Earth shattering, strong.
The battle begins
In a war no one will win.
Drums beating in the dawn
When will the madness end?
When will we put down our swords
And put peace into living words?

~ © 2015 Heidi Barnes

 

Into the Shadows

Image Nexus Desktop Red Eyes in Shadow
Image Nexus Desktop
Red Eyes in Shadow

Step into the shadows

The voices said.

Step into the darkness

And be fed.

Become one of us

And rewards you will reap.

Become one of us

To obtain the desires you seek.

But beware the price

For it may be steep.

Beware the price

Because true love’s heart

Is what we seek.

 

~ 2014 Heidi Barnes

Daydream…or memory

A friend of mine, who when we write think a lot alike, posted a blog from her daily writing back in February of 2013 to a prompt called “It was a Daydream”. As a lot of her poems or short stories do, it got me thinking and what I thought of had to be written down. 

The storyline is from my series Obsession, the time frame between Deceptions and Absolution. Consider this a…backstory. A small glimpse into a piece Kirsten’s life that was actually written after the series was finished…maybe. 😉 Where I posted this on my other website in February, I just found the handwritten copy and thought I would repost it here. This is what I wrote to “It was a Daydream”.

I stared out the window, wishing not for the first time I was outside enjoying the blue sky with the warmth of the sun on my skin. Anything was better than sitting inside staring at the computer screen.

The scene changes. I am staring out at a blue ocean. The breeze off the water cools my hot skin as it blows strands of my hair across my eyes. Hands gently caress my shoulders, a warm body moves against my back. I close my eyes as his lips touch the crook of my neck. The feel of his skin against mine is heaven. A sensation all that more precious because it is so rare. So dangerous.

“What are you thinking about?” his voice murmers against my skin.
At the moment all I coud think, all I could feel was the sensation his breath on my skin sent through me making my body tingle with anticipation as things lower tightened almost painfully. HIs hands tightened at the catch in my breath and he pulled me tighter against him. A slow flex of his hips tell me his reaction to that one catch.

“Step away from her,” a low dangerous voice commanded.

We both froze.

Opening my eyes, I kept them on the blue water before me. The hands on my arms convulsed then slowly, reluctantly slid from them. As he moved away from me the sun suddenly no longer felt as warm as it had moments before.

“Kirsten,” Alex said, his voice telling me in that one word just how angry he was. But I refused to give him what he wanted. I refused to show him any guilt for there was none.
I turned my eyes to his, a smile on my lips, my expression as neutral as my eyes.

“You’re home early,” I said calmly.

Alex’s eyes moved to the man who stood a few steps behind me. “Not early enough,” he said angrily.

Forcing my body to remain relaxed, I stepped towards him, stopping directly in front of him. Reaching up I placed my fingertips on his cheek, bringing those angry eyes to mine. If he was to be angry then he would be angry with me. I would not let others pay for my situation. Not if I could help it. Looking into his eyes I frowned. There was more than his jealously fueling his anger. It was the knowledge I needed to distract him from what he had seen.

“What has happened?” I asked.

Alex continued to glare at me, but when I only continued to frown at him, he closed his eyes. Taking in a deep breath and letting it out slowly he wrapped his arms around me, holding me as if I would disappear into mist.

“I cannot lose you,” he breathed into my hair.

“I’m not going anywhere,” I whispered back tightening my arms around him.

A movement caught my eyes. The sadness that met my eyes from the shadows of the trees matched my own. I would not be going anywhere not because I wanted to stay, but because I had no choice. Just as I had no choice in whose arms held me, whose lips found mind, whose body covered mine as I spent long nights making love. The man who held me now owned me, and he would never let me go. Ever.

…..

“Kirsten?” a concerned voice called startling me back to the hear and now. I looked up into Cody’s concerned eyes.

“Sorry,” I said clearing my throat and blinking back the tears that threatened to overflow.

“Did you say something?” I concentrated on the screen before me knowing if I looked at him I would lose what little control over my emotions that I had.

A hand over mine, gently pressing it to the mouse I held stopped me.

“Don’t,” he said gently.

That one word, the tone of his voice. It said it all. Don’t hide from me. Don’t push me away. Don’t feel alone because I am here, if you need me. But in order to keep those I loved alive I had to be alone. I could not lose a loved one. Not again. I would not survive.

~ © 2013 Heidi Barnes

Here is Annie’s response if you would like to read it. I highly recommend.  “Only a Dream”

One choice; one end ~ Forever Lost

Eyes blackest night

stare through hair

darkest light.

Features beauty untold,

chiseled form

from battles centuries old.

Wings of gold and earth

spread wide flex with ease

In hands grip tight

sword and spear

seeking blood,

old transgressions to appease.

With a smile calm descends

this battle long overdo

to bitter end.

Hearts torn asunder

souls yearning to mend,

the fate of all

in one choice,

to one end.

Destiny ~ Chapter 1

Just thought I would give a little preview to the first book of my new series Destiny that is about to come out in June. This is chapter 1. The prologue is on my other web site if you are interested.

http://www.anauthorandhermuse.com/destiny-prologue

On to chapter 1 of Destiny.

Two years earlier.

When Jamie Kessler saw Emma Givens walking down the hall on his first day of school, he thought she was an angel. Her long dark auburn hair, her beautiful green eyes that sparkled like emeralds when she smiled at something someone said to her as she passed by entranced him. Introducing himself to her sounded like a good idea, until someone next to him saw what he was looking at with obvious longing.

“I wouldn’t,” Joe Wallace warned as he started to work the combination to his locker next to Jamie’s. They had been introduced in the office. Since they had the first class together Joe was given the privilege of showing Jamie around.

“Why? Is she taken?” Jamie asked his eyes never leaving Emma. His answer came when a tall blonde, obviously one of the local jocks, walked up behind her sliding his arms around her waist pulling her back against him. It was a possessive move, and when Emma smiled up at the boy, Jamie noticed that the light had gone out of her eyes.

“That’s Marc White with her,” Joe answered Jamie’s frown.

“She doesn’t seem very happy to be with him,” Jamie said.

Joe looked at the couple and sighed. “She’s not,” he said quietly. “But there’s nothing we can do about it.”

“We?”

“Darren Mackenzie, me, and a few other friends Emma used to hang out with,” Joe answered turning his attention back to his locker and its contents. “Marc has made it very clear she belongs to him, and we are to stay away from her,” he finished angrily throwing his books into the locker.

Jamie frowned at the couple who were now walking towards them holding hands. Emma glanced at Jamie, giving him a small smile. When he returned it, Marc pulled her tightly against his side glowering at him with a look that promised violence if he even tried to talk to her.

“Wow,” Jamie breathed.

“Yeah,” Joe agreed slamming his locker shut. “It’s killing Darren that he can’t help her.”

“Were you both close to Emma?”

“Darren and Emma have been inseparable since birth. I moved into town when I was ten. We’ve been a team, for lack of a better word, ever since. We did everything together. Now Marc won’t let either of us anywhere near her. Even threatened to hurt her if we tried. Hurting her is the last thing we want to do, but it’s hard to just sit and watch him control her. And Darren….”

As if conjured by his name, Darren Mackenzie rounded the corner almost running into Marc and Emma. Instantly the tension in the hall rose to a level that had everyone’s attention as the two men glared at each other from only a foot apart.

“Shit,” Joe hissed moving towards them.

Jamie stood where he was, watching as everyone in the hall unconsciously moved back, forming a loose circle around the three.

“Mackenzie,” Marc practically snarled. If a name could be a threat, Marc had just managed it.

Darren’s eyes narrowed dangerously at Marc before he turned them to Emma. Instantly they soften. “Emma?” he said quietly, as if he was begging with her to listen to some unsaid plea.

Emma clutched her books to her chest pointedly looking at some spot on the floor. Jamie could see the look of helplessness in Darren’s expression, in his eyes. He wanted to help her, but by refusing to acknowledge he was standing in front of her, she was telling him she did not want his help.

The smile on Marc’s face as he slowly wrapped his arm around Emma drawing her closer to his side was the most evil thing Jamie had ever seen. Darren stiffened, his eyes darting back to Marc’s in hatred. Suddenly Joe was in-between them.

“Don’t, Darren,” Joe warned putting a hand on Darren’s chest. “It’s what he wants.”

The expression on Joe’s face told Jamie he was not happy about what he was seeing anymore than Darren was, but if Emma did not want their help there was nothing they could do.

It took a few moments before Darren’s body finally relaxed and he let Joe turn him around, pushing him back down the hall away from Marc and Emma.

“It must kill you Mackenzie to know she’s mine,” Marc called, his voice taunting. Darren froze. Joe let out a low hissing curse. “That’s she’s mine to hold, to kiss, to…fuck.”

Chaos ensued.

Everyone scrambled to get out of the way as Darren launched himself at Marc, slamming him against the nearest lockers. Jamie found himself helping Joe pull Darren off of Marc and across the hall into the adjacent lockers, but not before Darren had managed to get in a few good hits. Two others held Marc who was snarling and spitting blood.

“Let me go!” Marc roared.

“I will kill you if you touch her again,” Darren snarled trying to shake off the ones that held him.

Suddenly Emma was between them.

“Stop!” she commanded holding her arms out, palms up toward them. “Please,” she added to Darren her eyes imploring him to do as she asked.

Darren stopped fighting to get free but his body remained tense. “I won’t allow him to talk about you like that,” he said glaring at Marc.

“You can’t allow me anything,” Marc sneered. “She’s mine, Mackenzie. I can do whatever I want to her. Emma!”

The last was a command so sharp Emma jumped. The fear on her face as she slowly lowered her arms turned all three men’s stomachs. The look she gave Darren was so lost that Joe and Jamie had to use their entire body to hold him to the lockers so he would not interfere. Then she turned and walked to Marc.

Shaking off the men holding him, Marc wiped the blood from his mouth as he watched her with such ownership Jamie heard Darren grind his teeth in anger.

When Emma was close enough, Marc reached out and pulled her harshly to him. Wrapping one arm around her waist and tangling the other hand in her hair, his eyes found Darren’s as he lowered his face to hers. The kiss could only be described as Marc demonstrating to everyone in the hallway his dominance over Emma. She was his therefore he could kiss her as if he would climb down her throat, no matter who was watching.

The act was so sudden, so shocking, that all anyone could do was watch, until Emma began to whimper in pain. Before Darren could react Marc released her lips. His eyes daring Darren to say something as he held Emma to him, her body visibly shaking.

“Stay away from her,” Marc warned his eyes narrowing in hatred. Then he looked at the girl in his arms, his voice and eyes softening. “Are you all right?” he asked.

Emma slowly nodded her head.

Sliding his arm around her waist in support, Marc helped her to where they had dropped their books. Making sure she was steady on her feet, he let go to pick them up. Holding both stacks in one arm, he once again slipped the other around her waist and they disappeared around the corner.

“Shit!” Jamie breathed into the silence that followed.

“You going to be okay?” Joe asked Darren his voice full of concern as he and Jamie stepped back to give him some room.

Darren just nodded his head. Leaning back against the lockers, hands on his hips, Darren closed his eyes and hung his head. He knew Emma wanted to be free of that bastard, but Marc had tied their hands. Unless they found something to get the police involved it was too dangerous to try and take her from him.

“There must be something you can do,” Jamie said echoing his thoughts.

“Not unless there is some physically abuse that we can prove, but he’s too careful,” Darren said tiredly.

“And he won’t let any of us near her,” Joe added. “The only time he leaves her alone is at night when she’s at home, and that is starting to become rare. If he is not on the phone with her, he is on the computer with the web cam on so he can see she is alone.”

“There has to be something,” Jamie said. He did not know these people very well, but he knew abuse when he saw it. Marc may or may not be physically abusing Emma, but his possessiveness, his need to control her every move was a form of mental abuse. Usually the physical stuff came soon after.

“I may have found something,” a new voice said quietly. They turned to see Kim Harmon – another friend Marc had managed to push away from Emma – walking up to them with a grim look on her face. “You need to see this.” She handed Darren a piece of paper.

“Shit,” Darren said standing straight, horror in his eyes. “Where did you find this?”

“I was in the library working on a paper for CWP. I got distracted by this website about wanted criminals. This came up while I was looking through the wanted posters,” she answered grimly.

Grabbing the paper from Darren, the color drained from Joe’s face as he read the fine print. “We need to show this to the principal,” he said.

“No,” Darren answered. “If Marc gets wind that we know about this he’ll run with Emma. With this we can finally go to the police and free her in a way that won’t end with any of us, or her, dead.”

 

Destiny front
Coming in June

 

 

Say Something

I watched as you stumble

Caught you when you fell

But you pushed me away.

You played at being strong,

Your eyes show your pain.

I tried

Time and time again

Until there was nothing left

And I still stayed.

Slowly sinking into your trap

Losing what was once me

So you can survive one more day.

As I turn away I wait

For something

Anything.

Please

Say something and I will stay

For even after all the darkness

We have been through

I still love you

Even as I say goodbye…..

 

Prevail

We Heart It
We Heart It

We fight for what is right.

We fight for hope of all living kind.

We fight for the right to choose our own destinies.

We fight for life,

And most of all

We fight for love,

But what if it is not enough?

What if, in the end,

What we fight for is not what we thought?

What if the cost is too great?

What if….

In the fight for freedom

We lose that which is most important.

Ourselves.

Do we lay down our arms?

Let those who seek to control

All they see, all they know,

Take what is not rightfully theirs?

In your arms the horrors around us

Cannot touch me.

I am safe for you are my strength,

My soul,

As I am yours.

As long as you are by my side

Together can withstand anything thrown at us.

Misery

Famine

Fire

Loss.

All will crumble into dust.

Hope will win out

And those who oppose us

Will crawl back into the darkness whence they came.

No longer burning with rage

But weak with the despair they sought to give.

We shall rise triumphant.

Our wounds will heal,

Our hearts mend.

We will make sure that those who wish to dominate

Will never again step foot on our land,

Or the hell they wish to descend upon us

Will be returned tenfold,

Because our hope

Our strength

Our love

Will always be stronger.

In the end

We will always prevail.

 

~ © 2013 Heidi Barnes

 

Hidden in Strength

489533-bigthumbnail

They say I am the strongest

that I can weather any storm,

be there to hold things together

while others collapse and fall.

What they do not realize

is behind closed doors

where prying eyes cannot see

is the child inside,

who does hurt,

who does bleed.

That even those who seem strong

can, in time, break,

the strength draining away

revealing the truth hidden deep.

The strongest of us have a weakness.

Even the strongest of us can fall and weep.

~ © 2013 Heidi Barnes

 

Everything I Am – Destiny

male betrayal

I sacrificed everything for you!

I gave my heart,

my blood,

my life for you,

asking nothing in return.

And as I lay dying,

your loving eyes the last image in my mind,

haunting me,

tearing me apart

because those eyes were not for me,

but for someone you should despise.

Someone you should fear.

Someone who has captured your heart

as I once tried to do

and failed.

Will you remember me?

Will you remember by sacrifice?

Or will I become lost in the ages,

Forgotten mist in your mind.

 

~ © 2013 Heidi Barnes

Damon – Destiny series