Must

Must
Write words
No words come
Even though the need
To write words
Drones on
Incessantly

Copyright © 2017 Heidi Barnes

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Angst of a Writer

I see voices in my head
All talking at once
All wanting attention I cannot give
Imploring
Seeking
Demanding that I write their words
See their pain
Live their joy
Share their journey
So others may enjoy.
Worn down I take my pen
Situate my paper
and listen….
I re-situate my paper
and listen….
Sighing
I lay my pen down
Put my head in my hands
Praying for inspiration
Coherent thought
Help!
Silence ensues
Tension rises
All eyes narrow
Searching
….finding….
Growls of frustration
Words hissed, best not repeated
As over in the corner
In an overstuffed arm chair
Filing her nails
A glass of chardonnay
Box of chocolates
on the table beside her
My muse sits.
The one who translates
Thoughts
Pictures
Into flowing words
Her eyes glued to the TV
Watching Game of Thrones
A grizzly scene
Yet another red wedding
Unfolding
Unawares that in a moment
Fantasy may very well become
Reality

Copyright 2017 Heidi Barnes

Coming Soon – Legacy

Book 5 of the Obsession Series

Legacy

Justus Tremmel. Playboy, hero, risk taker, lover. All the things his father was except one. Responsible CEO of one of the most powerful empires in the world. At twenty-three everyone expected him to take over the company sooner rather than later, a job Jesse was doing his best to run away from. That was until a mere slip of girl captured his heart and the attention of those who wanted him dead and his family ruined. Will he be able to walk away from Sara, or will he follow in his father’s footsteps? Keeping the woman he loves locked away, never to see her family and friends again. Will any of it be enough to keep her safe?

Sara Reese had her future planned out. Finish college and move as far away from the small quiet town she grew up in to live in the big city where excitement was around every corner. That was until Justus Tremmel inadvertently gave her a taste of his world and the dangers surrounding it. Now hunted by the ones who wish to see the Tremmels ruined, Sara must decide whether she wants to stay in the comfort of what she knows, or dive headlong into a world she barely understands and wants her dead.

Daily Prompt: Crossing

via Daily Prompt: Crossing

The days go by
one by one
there seems no end
to this torment
and scorn
When lines are crossed
and bridges burned
there is no turning back
no redemption earned
The chasm before me
is wide and deep
Desert lay behind
green and lush before me sweeps
Crossing into the unknown
is scary at best
One last bridge
one foot forward
one last hope
for a life worth living.

Copyright 2017 Heidi Barnes

No More

chaos-lost

Nexus Desktop: Chaos Lost

Darkness surrounds me
threatens to consume
at ever turn.
Make me into something
a mother would spurn.
I try to fight it
with thoughts of love
hope
family
all that is good in life,
but despair is ever my bane,
taking that which was once good
turning it into hatred
burning hot
bright.
Beware of creatures
living deep within,
claws sharpen
teeth gnashing,
sinking deep into flesh
releasing poison
to blacken souls,
rendering chaos
before taking flight.
Hold onto the light
grasp with both hands
cling to hope with desperation
or darkness will consume
life until with one blink
existence is
no more.

Copyright 2017 Heidi Barnes

Daily Prompt: Facade

via Daily Prompt: Facade

I stare into the mirror
my face bare to the world.
My eyes tired,
my lips neutral,
my expression blank,
uncaring.
The façade that I wear everyday
washed away so easily with water,
revealing a woman
I barely recognize.
A woman who hides her pain
behind a well rehearsed smile
cheerful banter
well placed make-up.
There are times I wish
someone would see
the pain that I hide
so maybe I won’t be alone,
that maybe I can finally
be free to be me.

Copyright 2016 Heidi Barnes

 

Agree to Disagree – Daily Prompt: Disagree

via Daily Prompt: Disagree

“You’re an idiot.”

“What do you mean? I did everything I was suppose to do. Why is that wrong?”

“Because you don’t agree with the procedure. You think it’s wrong, so why do it that way? Why not do it the way you know is right?”

“Just because I disagree with what I’m being told to do, doesn’t mean it’s the wrong way. It just means I don’t necessarily my way.”

“It’s not right.”

“Why do you say that?”

“We should be free to do things the way we want to do them.”

“Who says we can’t?”

…..

“Look. Right now, this project is not mine. It’s the company’s. My boss told me he wanted it done in a certain way. Do I think there is a better way? Sure! Is what I am doing morally wrong or going to hurt someone? No. So we do it my boss’s way. Maybe it will work, maybe it won’t. If it doesn’t then the higher-ups will be more acceptable to trying my idea. Either way, it has to be done.”

“If you ask me it’s a waste of time.”

“Maybe. We’ll see. I have to get back to work. Let’s just agree to degree and leave it at that. Okay?”

*sigh* Okay. But mark my words. Your way is better.

Go!

I’m going, I’m going.

 

Copyright 2016 Heidi Barnes

When I thought of the word ‘disagree’ this is the conversation that came to my head. It’s one we’ve probably all had at one time or another.

 

The Joys of Editing

Editing. Such a lovely pastime…..not. I know I’ve written about this before. A lot of the times there are gaps in my posting, whether blog, poem or story, it’s because I’m not sure I’ve written about the subject before and I don’t necessarily want to repeat myself. This particular subject, probably because I’m in the middle of editing right now, has been bugging me to write about so here I am. Early Sunday morning when I should still be sleeping, with my first cup of coffee, definitely not my last, talking about editing.

So where was I. Oh yes, this lovely pastime we as writers struggle through for some unknown insane reason. 😛

At the moment, I’m on my second proof of Fated to Be from the Destiny seriesLike my series Obsession, Destiny has been rewritten many times over the years. Each version changing and evolving. But not so much as this last time. This time I realized what was missing and decided to add it to the story, a supernatural element, and wallah! It started to make sense to me. Unfortunate, it also added characters and changed a lot of what I had already written. The hardest part for me is what of the already written pages still work and what doesn’t. This dilemma has slowed down the writing process, a lot.

Now I don’t know about you, but there are some passages that when I first wrote them I really like them and I don’t necessarily want to lose them. So I spend hours, sometimes days, trying to make them work until suddenly I decided it has to go. To me, this is like cutting off my right arm. These words are my baby come to life on paper. Some passages that are large enough that I cut and paste them onto another document that I label “excerpts” of whatever book I’m working on. This is an attempt to save their life, telling myself that maybe I’ll use them at some later date when I know that will probably never happen. It doesn’t mean what I come up with isn’t just as good and probably fits much better in the story as it is now. It’s just hard to let go of something that has been written down for a very, very long time. (Yes, I’m old enough to use ‘very’ twice when added to the word ‘time’. :P)

Hopefully, when I open the proof today, I am still in that mindset that if it doesn’t work, stop trying to make it fit and let it go. As I writer I want you to enjoy the book. Have it flow like it does in my head and feel what I feel. Not get mired down in the convoluted mess trying to use something that no longer works can create.

So on that note, I bid you have a lovely, and if you live in Washington, hopefully not to wet Sunday and I will see you all later. 🙂

Copyright 2016 Heidi Barnes

While I Write – prompt 2.3

Normally when I write for a prompt I don’t read anyone else’s response until I’m done with mine. That way what I write is not influenced by others. This time I accidentally read an answer by Joe Hesch to Sharyl Fuller’s Writing Outside the Lines prompt 2.3, which I didn’t realize until the end. What he said in his response about how he writes is a lot like how I write. So the dilemma is, how to write to this prompt and not sound exactly the same. Yeah….

Okay, let’s give this a go.

This weeks prompt is about someone I had not heard of before. Jack Kerouvac and his 30 essentials about writing called “Belief and Technique for Modern Prose”. The prompt asks us to pick one or two of the thirty techniques that fits our style of writing best. Since Joe has written so beautifully on those that also fit me, which one should I pick? I decided on #26: Bookmovie is the movie in words, the visual American form.

Many times I’ve been accused of seeing what I write in my head as if it were a movie. It’s true. I see the scene as if I am watching it on a 4D screen that gives me sight, smell, feelings and dimension. Then I do my best to put into words those images and feelings. Trying to make sure that the readers feeling what my characters feel. The pain, joy, anger, despair. Try to make it as realistic as I can. Sometimes I fail because I just can’t find the right words, or the feelings and images are too strong or weak. Then there are times that I hit spot on. All I can do it write what I see and hope that you as a reader see and feel the close to the same thing.

I am also a character driven writer. We have many conversations in my head, and if I don’t write something the way they think it should be written they drive me crazy, badgering and clamoring until I get it right. (Yes, that does sound a little crazy in and of itself, but what can I say. I have voices in my head that thankfully let me lead a semi-normal life. LOL) There are those who will understand what I mean.

So now that one of those characters is off pouting in the corner after throwing a snit, I’m going to go on my last day before I have to go back to work and do what I think I do best. Write. (You may have a different opinion. Who knows. 🙂 )

Have a wonderful day.

 Copyright 2016 Heidi Barnes

Daily Prompt: Miniature

via Daily Prompt: Miniature

The rocking horse flew through the air, buzzing, neighing, doing loop-de-loops. Not a care in the world. The summer day was hazy with heat, showing the pollen that flew into the air as the rocking horse zoomed in and out of the flowers that filled the meadow. What a glorious day to be free! it thought. Free to fly among nature and all her glory. For the rocking horse had never been free before. At least he did not think so. All he remembered was the golden cage that surrounded him from his very first memory. It had been a large cage, filled with toys, a miniature barn with bedding his master called fluff, whatever that was. Plenty of food and water, and he was treated like a prize possession. All and all not a bad place to be, but it wasn’t…free.

With a long whinny that was its laugh, the rocking horse took off into the sky like it had been shot out of a cannon, leaving a trail of vapor behind it. Once it got to the highest point it stopped. Its small wings fluttered furiously to keep him suspended as he surveyed the beauty around him. Green rolling hills butted up against majestic mountains, the tallest peek raising up into the sky like a silent sentinel, watching over all below. Farms dotted the landscape with a village centered in the middle, a gathering place for the humans to sell their wares, catch up on gossip and celebrate their holidays and special occasions. Today was one of those days. A wedding was taking place and everyone one was there, decked out in their finery to help the happy couple begin their new life together. Which was why the rocking horse was free.

Sighing in contentment, the rocking horse looked down at the forest below it. Surely there were more like him. Maybe he should go down and start….

A shadow fell over him and then was gone.

What the…? 

Glancing around, the rocking horse could not see anything. Shrugging his shoulders, he once again surveyed below him, trying to figure out the best spot to begin his search. This time he saw the shape of the shadow floating across the tree tops. Large and silent, it drifted lazily around him. Taking a closer look, the rocking horse realized that the appendages that were out to the side of the body were wings and the large fan like thing in the back were…TAIL FEATHERS!

As soon as the rocking horse began his dive, a shrill shriek filled the summer air. Not daring to look back, the rocking horse streaked towards the safety of the woods.Dodging in and out of trees, he could hear the bird crashing and shrieking behind him. Must…find…shelter! There was a loud crash, then a crack of wood, then silence.

The rocking horse dared not slow to see if the bird had crashed into that large tree it had just flown through. No, it knew now where it must go if it was to remain safe. This outside world was a scary place, with things far to large that wanted to eat it for a morning snack. There was only one place it would be safe.

Sometime later, the front door opened to a small cottage near the woods and a young woman danced in, humming a lilting tune.

“What a wonderful day,” she sighed. “Full of laughter, good food and good friends. They really should have weddings more often, they are so much fun.” Putting her basket on the wooden table in the kitchen, she danced over to the small living area where there was a large golden cage and her childhood friend. “Hello, my little one. How was your day today? Uneventful, I suppose. Let me tell you about mine and we can relive it together, shall we?”

The miniature rocking horse neighed in response, rising up into the air and doing a somersault telling her it was happy to see her. With a small smile the woman did not see, it hung in the air, happily listening to his master’s voice as she regaled him with the days events. Happy to be safe and sound and alive in his home.

Copyright 2016 Heidi Barnes

Have a wonderful song filled summer day. 🙂