Why?

Can I help you?
I’m not sure. I don’t think anyone can help me.
Why do you say that?
Because, I am beyond help.
No one is beyond help.
I am….
The silence deepens.
Why don’t you tell me what is wrong.
You would not believe me.
Try me.
Sighing, I comply.
I have done something terrible. Something no decent person would ever do.
And that is?
I have lost faith.
In what?
Everything.
Again there is silence.
I don’t understand.
I have lost faith in the world, the universe, especially in mankind. There is so much pain, so much suffering, killing, and for what? Because we are different. We act, we believe, we see things differently therefore we should be exterminated. It does not make sense to me. Why? Why do others think they are better than me? Aren’t we all made the same? Are  we not all made of flesh and blood and bones? So what if our skin is a different color, or our eyes or hair. So what if we believe in a different god or a way of living. Why does that mean I must be punished? What makes you better than me?
This time the silence drags on longer until I fear there is no answer.
Fear.
What?
It is fear that pushes people to do those things. Fear of the unknown, of the unexplainable. Fear of something different than what we are. That fear leads to anger of the fact they cannot change what is. So since they cannot change, they destroy. There is still good in people. Not everyone feels this need. It is the few that make it difficult for the many. Do not lose hope or faith. In the end justice will prevail.
And until then?
That is your choice. Live how you feel is right and love those who love you in return for they are who truly matter.
Do I turn the other cheek when someone hurts me and mine?
That is up to you. Only you can determine when it is time to retaliate. When the wrong done to you is enough that you must answer the call to avenge your loved ones, your beliefs, yourself. Just remember that it is you who will look in the mirror and judge the harshest. Make sure what ever it is you decide that, in the end, you can live with that decision. Until then, be safe, be strong, and above all, be happy.

Copyright 2015 Heidi Barnes

A lot of the times it starts with one sentence and blooms into many words. I don’t always know where they come from. All I know is they must be written. I have not lost faith, but there are times I do wonder, why?

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4 thoughts on “Why?

  1. I ask these questions too. I feel like this too. So much hate & ugliness in people. What’s the answer ? I`m Still Searching .

  2. Love this thought provoking piece … I always say, “I have to look at myself in the mirror every day, the day I can’t look myself in the eye and know I’m a good person, is the day I have lost my soul.” It helps me most days … but I wonder about those people who do horrible things. Have they stopped looking in the mirror?

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