Category: Blog

Date Night

On By HeidiIn Blog2 Comments

It’s Friday! This means two things to me. One, the weekend is finally here. We only have 32 more days of school (that is not counting weekends and Memorial break) and I will be off for the summer, but at the moment it seems a long way off. Two, it’s date night. My husband and I started this about seven years ago when the kids were in collage. We said we were practicing for when they moved out. They weren’t sure how to take that. LOL

So, date night. This consists of me driving down to the mall where there are restaurants and a big theater where my husband meets me once he gets off of work. This means I can have a drink, or two, during dinner, see a movie and be alright to drive home. Tonight my hubby was suppose to be here around 5-5:30, but because it’s the end of the month and they are trying to finish shipping product he called to say he’s running an hour late. No big deal. Some chips and guacamole with a drink and I’m good to wait. Also gives me a chance to finally blog.

I could go into how it’s been a long cold wet winter and the fact I work in a school where sickness runs rampant, but why be morbid. It’s date night! Let’s talk about alcohol.

I’ve always been a rum amd coke gal. Rarely deviated with the exception of my college days when Southern Comfort would sneak in on the weekends. Ah, those were the days…I think. Kind of fuzzy really. 😛 Recently I decided to branch out. My mom made me martini with gin. Can I just saw EEEWWWW! Not only does it make me sneeze, smells like fir which I’m allergic to, I’m farely certain I could suck on the Juniper bush and get the same taste a lot cheaper. Now vodka martinis are a different matter. My mom calls me a woose for not drinking gin, but at least I can swallow the stuff. Being a sweet drinker I like flavored martinis, pomegranate being my favorite. Maggianos has the best.

My oldest found out I had never had a Long Island Ice Tea and set out to remedy that oversight. I see where the danger lies. It’s so easy to just suck it down as if it were coolaid. I was limited to one. Just don’t have that college tolerance anymore. Another my mom suggested, which I had tonight, is a Whiskey Sour. She told me to be careful because they sneak up on you. I didn’t head her warning the first time. I do now.

Although my new favorite drink is a Mule. It consists of ginger beer (non-alcoholic), lime juice and the liquer of your choice. Where it is not sweet I do like it.

So now I wait. Not sure what movie we will see. Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 2 doesn’t come out until next weekend. It’s one of the ones we’ve been waiting for. So I will say adieu. Have a wonderful weekend! Until next time.

Sad Love Songs

On By HeidiIn Blog2 Comments

Okay, so maybe my melancholy thoughts could be blamed on the fact I’ve been listening to a playlist I have dubbed Love Forsaken. Yeah.

So there are a lot of us out there that write to music. We have favorite albums or make up playlists. Or we just try and find that sound that clicks with what we are writing and go with it. When one of my favorite writers gets desperate and can’t find that right sound she turns on the Christmas music. I did try that once. Can’t write a love, angry or fight scene to Christmas music. Just can’t do it. 😛

Anyways, the scene today wasn’t necessarily a love scene, but I needed that feeling of angst in order to put the right words down to convey right feeling. This playlist, as all of my playlists, is work in progress. I’m sure I’ll remember some more songs that need to go into it. Here are the ones I have now.

Say Something by A Great Big World feat. Christina Aguilera
Show Me the Meaning by Backstreet Boys (Yes, I am reaching deep into my past for some of these, which reminds me….)
Stay by Rihanna feat. Mikky Ekko
Wide Awake by Katy Perry
Hello by Lionel Richie
Rise by Katy Perry
Father Figure by George Michael
Grenade by Bruno Mars
Unconditionally by Katy Perry

And last but not least Here Comes Goodbye by Rascal Flatts. This particular song it about a break-up, but the video is something much different. If I have the song playing in the background I can make it through without dissolving into tears. The video not so much. If you watch it you will see why. This particular video hits far too close to home. I will say my dad is still very much alive and leave it at that. If you decide to watch the video you will understand that some pains will fade with time and might even disappear. Others…others only stay hidden until the right memory, the right picture or the right song comes along and opens that jagged wound that barely holds itself together to once again overwhelm you as if it were the first day.

Time for some Kleenex.

Here is the link for the video on YouTube if you care to take a look. Here Comes Goodbye.

It’s time for me to get back to writing. Have a good weekend.

Let It Snow!

On By HeidiIn Blog, Photos2 Comments

We have had some cold days this year. Even a smattering of snow, but nothing like what we woke up to this morning. Eleven inches fell where we live in the Casacade Foothills. To the north where I grew up they recieved one to four inches, more the farther north you go. South up to fourteen. And there is suppose to be more coming.

I say, let it snow! 🙂

Daily Prompt: Year

On By HeidiIn Blog, Free Write, Uncategorized2 Comments

via Daily Prompt: Year

A year. 365 days. Seems like a long time, doesn’t it. Yet it seems to fly by in a blink of an eye. December is suddenly here and one starts to think, did I do everything I set out to do? Then the year turns in to years and the thought, Why didn’t I go on that trip I planned to go on when I was twenty? Years, months, weeks, days, hours, minutes, seconds. All gone before you know they are there. I may not accomplish everything I set out to do, or go on that trip I wanted to go on. But I do have to say there is very little I regret in my life. Mostly stupid things that came out on those instances when my filter decided it wasn’t going to work. Very annoying.

2016 is gone. Regrets are wasted energy when 2017 looms before us. Do I hope we have a better year than last? Yes. 2016 was one filled with upheaval, death, and anger. Here is hoping for a year we can be proud of. A year that we live through relatively unscathed. Only time will tell.

Happy New Year!

Heidi

Copyright 2017

Light in the Darkness

On By HeidiIn Blog2 Comments

It seems to come in spurts. Loss is never easy, but when you lose more than one person in a short period of time it’s hard to see the light for the darkness.

In the town where I grew up, in a twenty-four hour period there has been a loss of three people that have touched many lives. One of them a classmate of mine. Suddenly mortality is front and center. If someone I knew as a child, is the same age as I am, is now gone. When will it be my time? When will I suddenly not be here? Makes one stop and think, have I done everything I want to do? Have I told those that I love that I love them recently? Another is a classmates mother. That is luckily something I have not gone through yet, but at the moment scares me. I am not ready to lose a parent. It was hard enough when my grandmother passed.

I know this is slightly depressing for the holidays, but even though loss  can be devastating, can surround you with darkness and pain, the light is always there. You just need to look for it, search high and low until you see a glimmer and then hold on for all it’s worth. Even though it can feel like it, life does not end, it does not stop just because a loved one has moved on. You must still live yours. Do it as best as you can. Where the pain never really goes away, and it can come back and knock you to your knees unexpectedly, it does become manageable.

There is light in the darkness. Find it and live on.

Copyright 2016 Heidi Barnes

Word Bank Prompt

On By HeidiIn Blog, Creative Writing, Flash Fiction2 Comments

A word bank. I love to write to word banks. One came to me just now. No prompting, just appeared. I know they are usually only four or five words, but I have seven.

tea, spark, wind, time, anything, nothing, empty

Use them all or only a few. I am interested to see what you may come up with. I will see what comes to me and post.

Have a wonderful day.

Heidi

The Joys of Editing

On By HeidiIn Blog4 Comments

Editing. Such a lovely pastime…..not. I know I’ve written about this before. A lot of the times there are gaps in my posting, whether blog, poem or story, it’s because I’m not sure I’ve written about the subject before and I don’t necessarily want to repeat myself. This particular subject, probably because I’m in the middle of editing right now, has been bugging me to write about so here I am. Early Sunday morning when I should still be sleeping, with my first cup of coffee, definitely not my last, talking about editing.

So where was I. Oh yes, this lovely pastime we as writers struggle through for some unknown insane reason. 😛

At the moment, I’m on my second proof of Fated to Be from the Destiny series. Like my series Obsession, Destiny has been rewritten many times over the years. Each version changing and evolving. But not so much as this last time. This time I realized what was missing and decided to add it to the story, a supernatural element, and wallah! It started to make sense to me. Unfortunate, it also added characters and changed a lot of what I had already written. The hardest part for me is what of the already written pages still work and what doesn’t. This dilemma has slowed down the writing process, a lot.

Now I don’t know about you, but there are some passages that when I first wrote them I really like them and I don’t necessarily want to lose them. So I spend hours, sometimes days, trying to make them work until suddenly I decided it has to go. To me, this is like cutting off my right arm. These words are my baby come to life on paper. Some passages that are large enough that I cut and paste them onto another document that I label “excerpts” of whatever book I’m working on. This is an attempt to save their life, telling myself that maybe I’ll use them at some later date when I know that will probably never happen. It doesn’t mean what I come up with isn’t just as good and probably fits much better in the story as it is now. It’s just hard to let go of something that has been written down for a very, very long time. (Yes, I’m old enough to use ‘very’ twice when added to the word ‘time’. :P)

Hopefully, when I open the proof today, I am still in that mindset that if it doesn’t work, stop trying to make it fit and let it go. As I writer I want you to enjoy the book. Have it flow like it does in my head and feel what I feel. Not get mired down in the convoluted mess trying to use something that no longer works can create.

So on that note, I bid you have a lovely, and if you live in Washington, hopefully not to wet Sunday and I will see you all later. 🙂

Copyright 2016 Heidi Barnes

While I Write – prompt 2.3

On By HeidiIn Blog, Free Write5 Comments

Normally when I write for a prompt I don’t read anyone else’s response until I’m done with mine. That way what I write is not influenced by others. This time I accidentally read an answer by Joe Hesch to Sharyl Fuller’s Writing Outside the Lines prompt 2.3, which I didn’t realize until the end. What he said in his response about how he writes is a lot like how I write. So the dilemma is, how to write to this prompt and not sound exactly the same. Yeah….

Okay, let’s give this a go.

This weeks prompt is about someone I had not heard of before. Jack Kerouvac and his 30 essentials about writing called “Belief and Technique for Modern Prose”. The prompt asks us to pick one or two of the thirty techniques that fits our style of writing best. Since Joe has written so beautifully on those that also fit me, which one should I pick? I decided on #26: Bookmovie is the movie in words, the visual American form.

Many times I’ve been accused of seeing what I write in my head as if it were a movie. It’s true. I see the scene as if I am watching it on a 4D screen that gives me sight, smell, feelings and dimension. Then I do my best to put into words those images and feelings. Trying to make sure that the readers feeling what my characters feel. The pain, joy, anger, despair. Try to make it as realistic as I can. Sometimes I fail because I just can’t find the right words, or the feelings and images are too strong or weak. Then there are times that I hit spot on. All I can do it write what I see and hope that you as a reader see and feel the close to the same thing.

I am also a character driven writer. We have many conversations in my head, and if I don’t write something the way they think it should be written they drive me crazy, badgering and clamoring until I get it right. (Yes, that does sound a little crazy in and of itself, but what can I say. I have voices in my head that thankfully let me lead a semi-normal life. LOL) There are those who will understand what I mean.

So now that one of those characters is off pouting in the corner after throwing a snit, I’m going to go on my last day before I have to go back to work and do what I think I do best. Write. (You may have a different opinion. Who knows. 🙂 )

Have a wonderful day.

 Copyright 2016 Heidi Barnes

Vacation Time

On By HeidiIn Blog5 Comments

WIN_20160804_101912

This is my view this morning. Literally! I put my surface on the table, pulled up the camera and took a picture. Can you get any better than this? Nope. Earlier this morning I sat out in those chairs in my pjs and shawl with my coffee and watched the birds fly by while a sea otter poked its head out of the smooth water every so often as it played. A crane flew in and sat on one of the boats to take a nap. The neighbors were reading their boat to go crabbing out in the islands as others went by in the channel. The Olympic Mountains were a shadowed in a hazy cloudbank, and the state ferries went back and forth in front of them on their runs into the San Juan Islands and up to Victoria, BC. Only a few small clouds drifted by, but down on land there was barely a breeze. Perfect morning. Even got some journal writing done. My husband was at this very table doing a report for work that needed to be done and you know what? That was okay, because it meant I could sit here and enjoy the scenery. Eventually I went inside, got dressed, ate breakfast, came back out and read, went back in and did a few dishes. Now I’m back out here writing this blog and staring out at the view.

I grew up spending summers here. My grandparents bought the land when my mom was a little girl, so it’s been in the family for a long time, and I hope to keep it even longer. My oldest loves to come up here. It’s probably his favorite place in the world. I can’t blame him. It’s mine too. Full of memories of family reunions and sleepovers. I would bring friends over here for my birthday. Since it’s in August the weather was usually nice. We would sleep in what is now the shed. It used to be the cabin, once upon a time. The A-frame that is here now was built when I was about nine years old. A long time ago, but I do remember being in the older cabin. It had one of those split doors so Grandma could open the top and see what was going on or yell at us. For the most part we were good kids, but we did have our moments. LOL

I probably should get started on some editing. It will be hard to with this view, because no matter how many times I sit and stare at it, it never gets old. Especially on days like today.

 Copyright 2016 Heidi Barnes

A Dream That Haunts Me

On By HeidiIn Blog2 Comments

Reoccurring dreams. I had one last night. This is a new one, by which I mean in the last fifteen years or so. Not from my younger years. It never finishes and always leaves me uneasy. I also don’t remember all of it. They say that dreams can be your subconscious trying to figure something out that is bothering you or you’ve put on the back burner and now it has time to mull it over. I’m not sure with reoccurring though. I did have one that was rather disturbing that I had through my teen years. It was always the same, bloody, stressful with an ending that left me exhausted and haunted even after I woke up. There was a person, male, that was what I would call one of the leaders, but his face was never clear so I never knew who he was. It was not until I actually met that person (Yes, you read that right. Met. Not already knew.) when I was nineteen that the dream finally stopped haunting me. How I knew was because I had the dream one last time and the face was finally clear. I actually have that one written down somewhere.

The one I had last night is not as bloody, but it was stressful. I am seeing through someone else’s eyes. So it is me, yet it is not, living through this dream. We are in danger. Someone, or ones, are wanting something that we have. A person that can change the tide if they capture him or her. I know who it is, even though I don’t think I’m suppose to. The people in control don’t know I know, and that in itself is a danger. We are crowded in a room that looks a lot like Greek ruins, with stadium like seating but small. I see a male seated up towards the top that I recognize and there is a very strong connection, yet I don’t want him to know I am there. We lock eyes but there are too many between us so we are stuck where we are. I try not to make eye contact again, ignoring him, but I feel his eyes on me. This is not good because if the wrong person notices that will bode ill for us.

We are in water. The channel that is in between the island where I have a cabin and the next so it is familiar, but the water is smooth, calm, no current. Almost like a lake. There are many of us and we are in the middle treading water. It is warm. The first time through the dream (I went through it many times because it never resolves itself, looping at the end over and over until I finally wake up in an attempt to get out of it, only to fall back into it) there are shark fins and we all scramble to get to shore before someone is attacked. The second, or third, I’m not sure, time I keep waiting for the fins, but none come. It makes me even more nervous because I don’t know what will come next. By now I know it’s a dream so I try to change it, make it do what I want. It doesn’t work.

Then it switches to a room. At least I think it is a room. This is where the dream keeps looping and blurs together, never ending, never clear and never going the way I think or want it to go. It’s very frustrating. That male that was in the beginning is there along with others, although he seems to keep to the shadows, always watching. There is some arguing, people telling me that I can’t have what I want and I refuse to listen. Trying again and again to make it right because they are wrong. They have to be wrong.

I woke tired, confused and frustrated because it would not end. Until it does I don’t think it will ever stop haunting me. There is more, but the images keep slipping through my fingers as I try to remember them. Now it is mostly feelings and knowing that it is not over. It may never be over.

Copyright 2016 Heidi Barnes