Gone

Water Queen
Desktop Nexus: Water Queen

 

Breathe through the pain
Everything falls away
Water washing away sorrow
Clean
Bare
Only to be found again
Slithering
Consuming
World becomes unsteady
Arms hold on
Only to slip through
Falling into mist
Scattering
Breaking
Until nothing remains
Faithless
Empty
Gone

Copyright 2016 Heidi Barnes

I Will Survive

beautiful ballet
Source: Desktop Nexus ‘Beautiful Ballet’

 

Fluid in movement
Reaching towards the heavens
Searching for something
Elusive
Praying for miracles
Never to be given
Weeping in the darkness
While flames lick my skin
Scorching
Burning away sins unnamed
Chaos threatening to
Overwhelm
Turning away
Spurning love
Unworthy
While secretly yearning
Whispering in dawn awakening
Despite odds overwhelming
No time left
Decision made
I will fight
I will be victorious
I will survive

Copyright 2016 Heidi Barnes

I Rise

nexus-3d-nexus-desktop-wallpaper-abstract-84
Source: Desktop Nexus ‘Abstract’

 

You breath through me
Taking what is not yours.
Twisting it
Turning me into something I am not.
I try to banish you
Return to that which is me.
Yet at every turn you defeat me
Pulling me under
Drowning me in your rage
Your obsession
Your sorrow.
You are lost
So I must be lost with you,
But you will not win.
I will rise.
I will become who I am suppose to be.
I will break free
And you will burn
In the hell you have made.
I will rise
And you will lay at my feet
Broken
Forgotten
Never forgiven
Always alone.
I will rise.

Copyright 2016 Heidi Barnes

What Is – Prompt #50

Source: Unknown

Looking back there are times when I ask myself, what if. What if I went left instead of right? What if I had had the courage to say yes instead of no? What if I had taken that last step instead of hesitating, only to watch opportunity slip out of my reach? What if I had just kept my mouth shut. 

What might have been if I had made different choices?

We could ‘what if’ ourselves to death, but I think the question you should ask yourself is would I be the same person I am today? I think we are here for a reason. It could be small. Something that affects one decision for one person that may lead to something bigger. Ir it may be something world changing. Something that affects each and every one if us. 

We may never know the what might have been. We do know the now, and for better or worse we should make the best of what is.

Copyright © 2016 Heidi Barnes

This is for writing prompt #50 on the website Writing Outside the Lines.

Sleep Elusive – prompt 48

Source: We Heart It

Sleep. What a wonderful idea. I just wish I could. It had been a long time since I’ve been able to turn my mind off. Around and around on problems that there was nothing I could do anything about. I can’t speak on them, act on them, ignore them. Oh, trust me. I’ve tried. I walked away, been told it was none of my business and to stay out of it. Yet here I was. Standing in the one place I shouldn’t be, contemplating sleep that I knew would never come. Not while the bane of my exsitance was not more than ten feet away on the other side of the wall.

Sighing, I drop my bag on the floor at my feet with a loud thump and rub my face with my hands. What am I doing? It was not the first time I’ve ask this question. Probably won’t be the last. Not until this nightmare was over.

Walking to the bed I sat down heavily on the end. Well, there wasn’t much I could do tonight. Everyone had gone to bed long ago. Only Christian had been awake because he was the only one who knew I was coming, otherwise I would probably be at some hotel. Not a bad idea really, but saying no to the seven year old had been hard if not impossible. I could still see the puppy dog eyes staring at me over the screen as he pleaded with me to help him.

I looked at the wall that seperated me from the catastrophe waiting to happen. I hope Christian was right and the person on the other side was ready to talk. Better yet, listen. Otherwise this would be all for nothing, because if this didn’t work I was washing my hands of the whole mess.

Flopping back on the bed, I knew a lie when I heard one. I should. I was the best of the best when it came to lying. Ask anyone. Yeah, with what waited for me when the sun came up sleep would be an elusive bitch. Might as well unpack. It was going to be a long night.

© 2016 Heidi Barnes

I seem to be on a role with these writing prompts tonight. Not sure what is so special about tonight, but I’ll see how long it lasts. This writing was based on Writing Outside the Lines writing prompt #48. It was also written on my phone. I tried to catch all the typing errors, but I apologize if I missed any.

Weirdness to Crazy

Source: Wild Thing Photography

What is one person’s weird

Is another’s crazy

We can play it safe

Live life watching every step

Keeping our feet on the ground

Saving every penny

Prudent, well behaved

Or we can jump off the cliff

Soar through the air

Throwing gold like confetti

Dancing till dawn, scandalously

Pick your poison

Eat your cake

Drink your wine

Weird or crazy

Life is sublime

© 2016 Heidi Barnes

This is a response to prompt #49 on the website Writing Outside the Lines.

Come Find Me – Prompt #52

boat
Image: Suzanne Carey

 

Lost
Forgotten
Waiting for that someone
the right one
to come find me.
Waiting as the weeds grow
around me
through me
covering me until no one
can see me.
Until all that is left
are the memories of a once glorious
life.
A life filled with joy
sorrow
a little fear
and a lot of love.
Come find me
and together we will fill our memories
with all that is good
and bad
and a little in between.
Come find what is lost
before it is all forgotten
in the misty
hazy
vacuum of
time.

Copyright 2016 Heidi Barnes

This is prompt #52 from the website Writing Outside the Lines.

Vacation Time

WIN_20160804_101912

This is my view this morning. Literally! I put my surface on the table, pulled up the camera and took a picture. Can you get any better than this? Nope. Earlier this morning I sat out in those chairs in my pjs and shawl with my coffee and watched the birds fly by while a sea otter poked its head out of the smooth water every so often as it played. A crane flew in and sat on one of the boats to take a nap. The neighbors were reading their boat to go crabbing out in the islands as others went by in the channel. The Olympic Mountains were a shadowed in a hazy cloudbank, and the state ferries went back and forth in front of them on their runs into the San Juan Islands and up to Victoria, BC. Only a few small clouds drifted by, but down on land there was barely a breeze. Perfect morning. Even got some journal writing done. My husband was at this very table doing a report for work that needed to be done and you know what? That was okay, because it meant I could sit here and enjoy the scenery. Eventually I went inside, got dressed, ate breakfast, came back out and read, went back in and did a few dishes. Now I’m back out here writing this blog and staring out at the view.

I grew up spending summers here. My grandparents bought the land when my mom was a little girl, so it’s been in the family for a long time, and I hope to keep it even longer. My oldest loves to come up here. It’s probably his favorite place in the world. I can’t blame him. It’s mine too. Full of memories of family reunions and sleepovers. I would bring friends over here for my birthday. Since it’s in August the weather was usually nice. We would sleep in what is now the shed. It used to be the cabin, once upon a time. The A-frame that is here now was built when I was about nine years old. A long time ago, but I do remember being in the older cabin. It had one of those split doors so Grandma could open the top and see what was going on or yell at us. For the most part we were good kids, but we did have our moments. LOL

I probably should get started on some editing. It will be hard to with this view, because no matter how many times I sit and stare at it, it never gets old. Especially on days like today.

 Copyright 2016 Heidi Barnes

Word Bank – Prompt #51

Here is my response to prompt #51 for Writing Outside the Lines.

Phone, green, twig, storm, past, light

Follow the light, they always say. But what if you don’t want to follow the light? What if you don’t want to have your past played out before you one last time? Trust me. It wasn’t that spectacular the first time through. God only knows I made some horrendous mistakes I was still beating myself up paying for, so why go through it with him again? Or maybe I’m heading down and I will finally answer for my sins. There’s a thought that wasn’t comforting.

Yet the better question was, how did I get here in the first place?

Last thing I remember was walking through the wood and hearing a twig snap. Then it was a whirlwind of crashing, yelling – me – more crashing then…nothing. There wasn’t even any pain. If I was at heaven’s, or hell’s, gate, shouldn’t there have been pain of some sort? One would think so.

The light grew brighter but I refused to acknowledge it. Nope. Not going to look at it, follow it, and I’m sure as hell not going into it. Unfortunately, all I could move was my eyelids. Everything else seemed to be frozen.

“Don’t more, Mr. Green,” a female voice soothed. “It will all be over soon.”

What will be over soon? Where the hell was I? Opening my eyes I tried to get them to focus but the light proved too bright.

“Here,” the woman said kindly.

Suddenly the light was dimmed and I could see my surroundings. Or at least the ceiling, which was white and filled with lights you might see in an operating room. I wouldn’t know for sure because I had never been in an operating room, only had seen them on T.V.

I tried to ask where I was, but it only came out a croak. Swallowing in an attempt to put some moisture into my cotton filled mouth I tried again. “Where am I?” I rasped.

“That would be hard to explain,” the woman answered hesitantly from my right.

Blinking and trying swallowing again, I said with as much command as I could put in my voice, “Try.”

There was a few moments of silence before she finally said, “Maybe it would be better just to show you.”

Show me what? Now I was really beginning to worry. As I listened to her move around the room, I suddenly could hear the sounds around me. Beeping and whirring of machinery. Faint voices whispering somewhere above me in a language I did not understand. The sounds of footsteps as people moved around what seemed like a very large room, and still I could not move. What was more confusing was I should have understood them. I was walking in the Olympic Mountains in Washington State. If I was in a hospital nearby they should speak the same language as I did.

Suddenly my limbs felt lighter.

“There,” the woman said cheerfully. “You can now move, Mr. Green. Please be careful though. You still haven’t quite recovered from the procedure.”

Procedure? I started to sit up quickly and realized what she meant. The world took a spin around me and I almost fell off the table I was laying on. Strong hands caught me and held me in place until it stopped.

“I’m good,” I murmured, nodding my head I had it. Those hands slowly let go, probably afraid I would still fall. Swinging my legs around so they dangled over the edge, I slowly righted myself. Taking a few moments to make sure I would stay in place, my hands on either side of me gripping the table, my head bowed, I finally decided opening my eyes would be all right. When I did, I wish I hadn’t.

There could have been armed men ready to shoot me, a volcano exploding, my guts hanging out I would not have noticed, because what was in front of me took all my attention and held it fast. Before me was a smooth white wall with huge picture window. Outside was darkness streaked with white lights. There was only one explanation and I did not want to believe it until I had more proof. Gingerly slipping off the table, I stumbled to the window until my hand rested on the cold surface, my eyes never leaving what I was not coming to realize was true.

I was on some sort of ship.

In space.

Copyright 2016 Heidi Barnes