When Do You Say…Enough.

When is it too much? When do you finally say enough? Some people’s threshold is very high, reaching for the heavens and above. “They have the patience of a saint,” people would say. Others are so low not even Lucifer in his realm can find it, settling in the deep core of the earth to simmer and burn. All it takes is a look or maybe one certain person walking into the room and their patience is gone, flying out the window as if the very demons of hell were nipping at its tail.

There are situations where walking away can be the most difficult act you will ever play. The one that not only will affect your life, but those around you that you thought you loved and those you still do. How do you change your life without destroying theirs? Yet if you don’t change, won’t your life be destroyed? How do you betray those who depend on you in order to keep what little sanity you have left by leaving them in the frozen wasteland that has become life? Or the scalding desert that has become your hell? What is that final act that forces you to say “I have had enough” and you walk away, never to look back.

How many people can you save by saying “No more” to the demon who possesses the power to harm those around them? How many will you sacrifice to end the misery? Strengths come in many levels, many ways. The strength to keep going, to fight that which yearns to destroy everything you hold dear. The strength to say “Enough” and walk away to live, to breathe, another day.

Some say those who refuse to step out of the darkness that has become their lives, that stay and just endure are cowards. Are they? Just because they see no way out. That the demon that holds their life in its hands has every exit sealed shut with vicious words and violence promised to those they love, or to them if they dare to seek the light. Maybe they have been beaten so far down that there is no strength left to fight for what most of us take for granted. Freedom to think and choose for ourselves. Freedom to say, “Enough.”

~ © Heidi Barnes

Angel of Music

Angel of Music
sings softly to me.
Whispering promises
not meant to be.
True love kisses
breaks spellbound heart.
Angel of Music
now silent,
lost.
Desperate to keep
what once was his,
Angel of Music
falls from heaven
to evil’s bliss
to find love taken
yet not returned,
is love lost
in a kiss.
Discovery opens eyes
to misery deep,
Angel of Music
for love forgiven weeps.

~ © 2014 Heidi Barnes

While I was watching the Phantom of the Opera the other day, I had written a poem. Then as I was about to finish it, happy with what I had written, I lost it. Let’s just say it was not a happy moment. While this is not the original, part of it came back to me and I posted that on Twitter. This morning the rest came to me so I finished it. 🙂

Shattered

Image: Desktop Nexus Miserable
Image: Desktop Nexus
Miserable

Pieces of my soul
lay shattered before me,
windows into my past,
present,
future
open for all to see.
Where were the promises,
where were the vows,
to keep my soul,
my heart,
in the shelter of your love?
Why did you forsake me
when I needed you most?
Answers I must have!
I will find you,
I will seek my revenge
then, maybe, my soul will piece together
and I can live again.

~ © 2014 Heidi Barnes

Anger’s Pain

Image: Desktop Nexus
Image: Desktop Nexus

Why?

Why did you stay late?

Why didn’t you come home like you promised?

What could have possible been so important

that you broke that promise?

Why did you leave me?

No…

why did YOU take him from me?

What did he do that was so horrible

his life must be cut short?

What have I done to deserve this pain?

I don’t understand!

All loving

all knowing

all…..

I hate you.

You took everything from me

and now I am nothing.

Nothing….

To Hope for Forgiveness

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Ignorance breeds anger

Anger breeds distrust

So I walk away.

Understanding comes slowly

Remorse with sorrow is pain filled

Forgiveness a dream

Yet hope blooms eternal.

Warm hearth beckons

Will transgressions be forgotten

Will the door open

Or will it remain firmly closed

Love forever out of reach

Ending life as known

While darkness descends

Eternally

~ © 2013 Heidi Barnes

Everything I Am – Destiny

male betrayal

I sacrificed everything for you!

I gave my heart,

my blood,

my life for you,

asking nothing in return.

And as I lay dying,

your loving eyes the last image in my mind,

haunting me,

tearing me apart

because those eyes were not for me,

but for someone you should despise.

Someone you should fear.

Someone who has captured your heart

as I once tried to do

and failed.

Will you remember me?

Will you remember by sacrifice?

Or will I become lost in the ages,

Forgotten mist in your mind.

 

~ © 2013 Heidi Barnes

Damon – Destiny series

Help Me

 

photo-manipulation-05_large

You tell me you love me.

That what you do to me

Is for my own good.

That if I was only prettier

Smarter

Obedient

You would not have to do

Such horrible things to me.

As I look in the mirror,

Colors of the spectrum no one person

Should see mottling my body

Where clothes hide what others suspect.

For no one can see

What you need to do to keep me

In line.

A very small part of me,

The part that still rails against you

Cannot understand why you do this to me.

I do everything you ask

When you ask.

I am careful to keep my eyes downcast

Show no interest in another man

Another person

Yet it is never enough.

How can I escape this hell I live in

Who can help me when I can only scream

In silence.

Someone

Anyone

Please help me

Before it is too late.

Before he finally

Breaks me

Copyright: Heidi Barnes

Before I get too many comments, I want to let you know that this poem has nothing to do with me. I have a very loving, caring, if not at times exasperating, husband who I love very much. What inspired this poem is the name of one of my followers. I also started thinking of a couple of books and movies I have seen that talks about spousal abuse. This is what came of that musing.

I hope you all have a safe weekend, and to those trapped in this situation, please, find help and escape. No one should be treated this way.

Destiny – Love Unbound

Nexus Desktop
Nexus Desktop

We join as one

Heart, body and soul

I am yours as you are mine

But we are not alone

Love encompasses those who show

Loyalty, strength

Above all willingness

To open their minds and hearts

To possibilities unbound

To love thrice found

Growing each day

New surprises as power is displayed

We learn together nothing is beyond our reach

Nothing is impossible or will be denied

So we ease into this new world

Of lies, hate, betrayal

A world where pain forges alliances

As well as foes

We will survive

With strength in numbers

With strength in mind

And above all else

With strength in love.

Copyright: Heidi Barnes