I Will Survive

beautiful ballet
Source: Desktop Nexus ‘Beautiful Ballet’

 

Fluid in movement
Reaching towards the heavens
Searching for something
Elusive
Praying for miracles
Never to be given
Weeping in the darkness
While flames lick my skin
Scorching
Burning away sins unnamed
Chaos threatening to
Overwhelm
Turning away
Spurning love
Unworthy
While secretly yearning
Whispering in dawn awakening
Despite odds overwhelming
No time left
Decision made
I will fight
I will be victorious
I will survive

Copyright 2016 Heidi Barnes

I Rise

nexus-3d-nexus-desktop-wallpaper-abstract-84
Source: Desktop Nexus ‘Abstract’

 

You breath through me
Taking what is not yours.
Twisting it
Turning me into something I am not.
I try to banish you
Return to that which is me.
Yet at every turn you defeat me
Pulling me under
Drowning me in your rage
Your obsession
Your sorrow.
You are lost
So I must be lost with you,
But you will not win.
I will rise.
I will become who I am suppose to be.
I will break free
And you will burn
In the hell you have made.
I will rise
And you will lay at my feet
Broken
Forgotten
Never forgiven
Always alone.
I will rise.

Copyright 2016 Heidi Barnes

What Is – Prompt #50

Source: Unknown

Looking back there are times when I ask myself, what if. What if I went left instead of right? What if I had had the courage to say yes instead of no? What if I had taken that last step instead of hesitating, only to watch opportunity slip out of my reach? What if I had just kept my mouth shut. 

What might have been if I had made different choices?

We could ‘what if’ ourselves to death, but I think the question you should ask yourself is would I be the same person I am today? I think we are here for a reason. It could be small. Something that affects one decision for one person that may lead to something bigger. Ir it may be something world changing. Something that affects each and every one if us. 

We may never know the what might have been. We do know the now, and for better or worse we should make the best of what is.

Copyright © 2016 Heidi Barnes

This is for writing prompt #50 on the website Writing Outside the Lines.

Sleep Elusive – prompt 48

Source: We Heart It

Sleep. What a wonderful idea. I just wish I could. It had been a long time since I’ve been able to turn my mind off. Around and around on problems that there was nothing I could do anything about. I can’t speak on them, act on them, ignore them. Oh, trust me. I’ve tried. I walked away, been told it was none of my business and to stay out of it. Yet here I was. Standing in the one place I shouldn’t be, contemplating sleep that I knew would never come. Not while the bane of my exsitance was not more than ten feet away on the other side of the wall.

Sighing, I drop my bag on the floor at my feet with a loud thump and rub my face with my hands. What am I doing? It was not the first time I’ve ask this question. Probably won’t be the last. Not until this nightmare was over.

Walking to the bed I sat down heavily on the end. Well, there wasn’t much I could do tonight. Everyone had gone to bed long ago. Only Christian had been awake because he was the only one who knew I was coming, otherwise I would probably be at some hotel. Not a bad idea really, but saying no to the seven year old had been hard if not impossible. I could still see the puppy dog eyes staring at me over the screen as he pleaded with me to help him.

I looked at the wall that seperated me from the catastrophe waiting to happen. I hope Christian was right and the person on the other side was ready to talk. Better yet, listen. Otherwise this would be all for nothing, because if this didn’t work I was washing my hands of the whole mess.

Flopping back on the bed, I knew a lie when I heard one. I should. I was the best of the best when it came to lying. Ask anyone. Yeah, with what waited for me when the sun came up sleep would be an elusive bitch. Might as well unpack. It was going to be a long night.

© 2016 Heidi Barnes

I seem to be on a role with these writing prompts tonight. Not sure what is so special about tonight, but I’ll see how long it lasts. This writing was based on Writing Outside the Lines writing prompt #48. It was also written on my phone. I tried to catch all the typing errors, but I apologize if I missed any.

Weirdness to Crazy

Source: Wild Thing Photography

What is one person’s weird

Is another’s crazy

We can play it safe

Live life watching every step

Keeping our feet on the ground

Saving every penny

Prudent, well behaved

Or we can jump off the cliff

Soar through the air

Throwing gold like confetti

Dancing till dawn, scandalously

Pick your poison

Eat your cake

Drink your wine

Weird or crazy

Life is sublime

© 2016 Heidi Barnes

This is a response to prompt #49 on the website Writing Outside the Lines.

No More

When you reach a point

There is no return

When you finally say

Enough is enough

I will do this no more

To walk away

Never to look back

To not turn around

Give it one more chance

May be the hardest test

You will ever endure

Because walking into the unknown

Is never easy

When you’re alone

 

Copyright © 2016 Heidi Barnes

Endure

 

Waves crashing

lightning strike

the storm mimics a broken heart tonight

tears of anger

tears of joy

through rain or shine

I will endure

 

Copyright ©2016 Heidi Barnes

Everything Changed – #FWF

 

untitled (11)
Source: By Brandon Hopkins from the Noun Prophet

 

 

It was less than a second, maybe half a second, but it changed everything. I don’t know how to explain it. It happened so fast and at the same time it took forever. It was almost like magic, but not in a good sort of way.

I was reaching for the coffee and there was a noise. Just a small noise, but it was enough to catch my attention so I turned to see what it was, and there it stood. Small and furry, the mouse sat on the shelf staring at me as if it was contemplating the meaning of life. I suppose it was. I had never seen a mouse like this. The white fur was dotted with brown splotches, much like a pinto pony. And the ears were not so much round as they were shaped like a spade. The tail was swishing back and forth along the metal shelf, slowly, almost hypnotizing. Like a cat who was ready to pounce, using its tail as a countdown to the final lunge. But those eyes. There was too much intelligence in those eyes for a small mouse.

Slowly lowering my hand, I kept my eyes on the creature as I stepped away from the shelves. Looking away seemed like not a very good idea. Part of me thought it would disappear in a cloud of smoke, another part of me prayed it would. But it stayed on that shelf, its eyes following me, its tail slowly swishing back and forth.

Then it jumped.

With a little scream, I slammed into the shelves behind me, knocking boxes and cans off that crashed to the floor. Before my unbelieving eyes as the mouse fell it began to grow. Those small little legs stretching to the floor, the little nose elongating, the eyes growing, the ears and tail lengthening. When the hooves hit the tile floor with a clatter, yes hooves, a pinto pony stood before me. My hand to my chest as I gulped in air, desperately trying to calm my pounding heart, I stared into those large brown eyes and saw the same intelligence that the mouse had.

How? Why? What the hell?

The now horse stood proud and strong, its eyes never wavering from me, its ears stock still as its tail swished slowly back and forth as it did before when it was a mouse. Suddenly I realized it wanted something from me. What that was I had no idea. So we stared at each other, neither one moving except for me gasping for air and that damn tail swishing back and forth, back and forth.

Realizing that the thing did not mean me any harm, I slowly relaxed. Gently pushing myself from the shelves, a few more boxes falling behind me the only noise in the building that seemed as loud as boulders crashing down a mountainside, I stood on my own two feet. Unsure I would not be bitten; I reached out to the nose of the horse and placed my hand before the nose, a gesture of peace. Snorting, it nuzzled my hand. I grew bolder, running my hand up its nose to its ears. When it turned its head, pushing my hand, I smiled and obliged by scratching behind the ears.

“What do you want from me,” I mused.

Nickering, it shook its head and looked at its back.

“You want me to ride you?”

The vigorous nodding told me yes.

“I see,” I replied none too sure.

When it stomped its foot and snorted, I decided it was not going to take no for an answer. Looking down one side of the isle then the other, I realized that we were alone. That was strange since the parking lot of the store was completely full when I arrived. The pony snorted again.

“Impatient, aren’t we.”

Butting me with its head, it snorted again, this time stamping its foot on the tile floor.

“I must be mad,” I muttered shaking my head.

Taking a deep breath, I moved down the horse and took a hold of its main. After a quick thought, I bent down to see which sex the horse was.

“Male, huh. Explains the impatient part.” I could have sworn he rolled his eyes. “I don’t have to go with you, you know,” I snapped.

The look that horse gave me told me that I really had no choice in the matter, and to get on.

“Fine,” I sighed irritably.

With the ease of someone who had lived around horses all her life, I jumped onto his back. Once I was settled I asked, “Now what?”

It was a question that would forever haunt me, because what happened in that next second changed my life forever.

Copyright 2016 Heidi Barnes

This is from a prompt on Kellie Elmore’s website Magic in the Backyard.