Open Your Eyes

I try.
Every day,
I try.
Yet,
it’s never enough.
I see what I want,
feel the rush of love
a warmth that envelops me
soothes me
lifts me.
Yet,
I cannot reach you.
Don’t you feel it too?
Can’t you see
all I want is for you to feel
what I know is true
what is real.
Fly with me.
All you have to do is
open your eyes and
see.

© 2021 Heidi Barnes


Time Stands Still

How do I go on
when all seems lost?
How does each day begin
and end
when time seems to
stand still?
When to step outside
to see what the world offers
what life can give
the ups
the downs
the in-between
seems like a step into
Hell?
I watch from hidden windows
wishing
praying
that one day I can break free
from this pain
that keeps me
inside
drags me under
suffercates
so once again
I can see a horizon
I can breathe
I can take that step
and live.

Copyright © 2018 Heidi Barnes

Unknown

Feelings so deep
threatening to overwhelm
nowhere to show them
nowhere to run
how do I express
when I don’t understand
what I want
what I need
what I feel
how do I overcome
the unknown

Denial – Daily Prompt

via Daily Prompt: Denial

What do you want from me?
I didn’t ask for this.
I didn’t ask for you!
Leave me be!

Walking through life
alone and free.
Happy in my plight
peaceful quiet nights.
In you walk
full of spitfire
life.
A ray of sunshine
silence broken
laughter in the night

Why me?
Why not him
or her?
Anyone else
A companion make.
There is the dog!
Please go
for Godsakes!

What do you want from me?
Why can’t I breathe?
You’re coming closer….
Please….
don’t leave.

 

Copyright © 2017 Heidi Barnes

 

Daily Prompt: Immerse

via Daily Prompt: Immerse

When the world is too much
when one more look
one more word
will send me over the edge
I find myself wondering
what it would be like
to immerse myself in someone else’s
life
To, for once, not have to deal with my problems
To see through another’s eyes
another’s culture
To experience something I have never experienced
before
To disappear in another world
even if only for a moment
and breathe.

Copyright 2017 Heidi Barnes

Daily Prompt: Tempted

via Daily Prompt: Tempted

It’s a daily struggle
one not easily won
but battle on
I must.
I see you there
innocent
seemingly aloof.
My willpower is strong
I should not be tempted
by one such as you
yet tempted I am.
Begone vile creature
before my will fails
and I reach for that
which my growing waistline details.

mini-chocolate-cupcakes-with-pumpkin-frosting-thumb
Source: Unknown 

Copyright 2017 Heidi Barnes

 

Light in the Darkness

It seems to come in spurts. Loss is never easy, but when you lose more than one person in a short period of time it’s hard to see the light for the darkness.

In the town where I grew up, in a twenty-four hour period there has been a loss of three people that have touched many lives. One of them a classmate of mine. Suddenly mortality is front and center. If someone I knew as a child, is the same age as I am, is now gone. When will it be my time? When will I suddenly not be here? Makes one stop and think, have I done everything I want to do? Have I told those that I love that I love them recently? Another is a classmates mother. That is luckily something I have not gone through yet, but at the moment scares me. I am not ready to lose a parent. It was hard enough when my grandmother passed.

I know this is slightly depressing for the holidays, but even though loss  can be devastating, can surround you with darkness and pain, the light is always there. You just need to look for it, search high and low until you see a glimmer and then hold on for all it’s worth. Even though it can feel like it, life does not end, it does not stop just because a loved one has moved on. You must still live yours. Do it as best as you can. Where the pain never really goes away, and it can come back and knock you to your knees unexpectedly, it does become manageable.

There is light in the darkness. Find it and live on.

Copyright 2016 Heidi Barnes

Daily Prompt: Facade

via Daily Prompt: Facade

I stare into the mirror
my face bare to the world.
My eyes tired,
my lips neutral,
my expression blank,
uncaring.
The façade that I wear everyday
washed away so easily with water,
revealing a woman
I barely recognize.
A woman who hides her pain
behind a well rehearsed smile
cheerful banter
well placed make-up.
There are times I wish
someone would see
the pain that I hide
so maybe I won’t be alone,
that maybe I can finally
be free to be me.

Copyright 2016 Heidi Barnes