Ever since you entered my life
the world has tilted precariously
the ground uneven
beneath my feet
If this is what love is
a chaos of emotions
lifting me then dropping suddenly
only to be lifted once again
leaving me breathless, disoriented
I am yours.
Copyright 2017 Heidi Barnes
It’s a daily struggle
one not easily won
but battle on
I must.
I see you there
innocent
seemingly aloof.
My willpower is strong
I should not be tempted
by one such as you
yet tempted I am.
Begone vile creature
before my will fails
and I reach for that
which my growing waistline details.
Copyright 2017 Heidi Barnes
A word bank. I love to write to word banks. One came to me just now. No prompting, just appeared. I know they are usually only four or five words, but I have seven.
tea, spark, wind, time, anything, nothing, empty
Use them all or only a few. I am interested to see what you may come up with. I will see what comes to me and post.
Have a wonderful day.
Heidi
Normally when I write for a prompt I don’t read anyone else’s response until I’m done with mine. That way what I write is not influenced by others. This time I accidentally read an answer by Joe Hesch to Sharyl Fuller’s Writing Outside the Lines prompt 2.3, which I didn’t realize until the end. What he said in his response about how he writes is a lot like how I write. So the dilemma is, how to write to this prompt and not sound exactly the same. Yeah….
Okay, let’s give this a go.
This weeks prompt is about someone I had not heard of before. Jack Kerouvac and his 30 essentials about writing called “Belief and Technique for Modern Prose”. The prompt asks us to pick one or two of the thirty techniques that fits our style of writing best. Since Joe has written so beautifully on those that also fit me, which one should I pick? I decided on #26: Bookmovie is the movie in words, the visual American form.
Many times I’ve been accused of seeing what I write in my head as if it were a movie. It’s true. I see the scene as if I am watching it on a 4D screen that gives me sight, smell, feelings and dimension. Then I do my best to put into words those images and feelings. Trying to make sure that the readers feeling what my characters feel. The pain, joy, anger, despair. Try to make it as realistic as I can. Sometimes I fail because I just can’t find the right words, or the feelings and images are too strong or weak. Then there are times that I hit spot on. All I can do it write what I see and hope that you as a reader see and feel the close to the same thing.
I am also a character driven writer. We have many conversations in my head, and if I don’t write something the way they think it should be written they drive me crazy, badgering and clamoring until I get it right. (Yes, that does sound a little crazy in and of itself, but what can I say. I have voices in my head that thankfully let me lead a semi-normal life. LOL) There are those who will understand what I mean.
So now that one of those characters is off pouting in the corner after throwing a snit, I’m going to go on my last day before I have to go back to work and do what I think I do best. Write. (You may have a different opinion. Who knows. 🙂 )
Have a wonderful day.
Copyright 2016 Heidi Barnes
Lost
Forgotten
Waiting for that someone
the right one
to come find me.
Waiting as the weeds grow
around me
through me
covering me until no one
can see me.
Until all that is left
are the memories of a once glorious
life.
A life filled with joy
sorrow
a little fear
and a lot of love.
Come find me
and together we will fill our memories
with all that is good
and bad
and a little in between.
Come find what is lost
before it is all forgotten
in the misty
hazy
vacuum of
time.
Copyright 2016 Heidi Barnes
This is prompt #52 from the website Writing Outside the Lines.
It was less than a second, maybe half a second, but it changed everything. I don’t know how to explain it. It happened so fast and at the same time it took forever. It was almost like magic, but not in a good sort of way.
I was reaching for the coffee and there was a noise. Just a small noise, but it was enough to catch my attention so I turned to see what it was, and there it stood. Small and furry, the mouse sat on the shelf staring at me as if it was contemplating the meaning of life. I suppose it was. I had never seen a mouse like this. The white fur was dotted with brown splotches, much like a pinto pony. And the ears were not so much round as they were shaped like a spade. The tail was swishing back and forth along the metal shelf, slowly, almost hypnotizing. Like a cat who was ready to pounce, using its tail as a countdown to the final lunge. But those eyes. There was too much intelligence in those eyes for a small mouse.
Slowly lowering my hand, I kept my eyes on the creature as I stepped away from the shelves. Looking away seemed like not a very good idea. Part of me thought it would disappear in a cloud of smoke, another part of me prayed it would. But it stayed on that shelf, its eyes following me, its tail slowly swishing back and forth.
Then it jumped.
With a little scream, I slammed into the shelves behind me, knocking boxes and cans off that crashed to the floor. Before my unbelieving eyes as the mouse fell it began to grow. Those small little legs stretching to the floor, the little nose elongating, the eyes growing, the ears and tail lengthening. When the hooves hit the tile floor with a clatter, yes hooves, a pinto pony stood before me. My hand to my chest as I gulped in air, desperately trying to calm my pounding heart, I stared into those large brown eyes and saw the same intelligence that the mouse had.
How? Why? What the hell?
The now horse stood proud and strong, its eyes never wavering from me, its ears stock still as its tail swished slowly back and forth as it did before when it was a mouse. Suddenly I realized it wanted something from me. What that was I had no idea. So we stared at each other, neither one moving except for me gasping for air and that damn tail swishing back and forth, back and forth.
Realizing that the thing did not mean me any harm, I slowly relaxed. Gently pushing myself from the shelves, a few more boxes falling behind me the only noise in the building that seemed as loud as boulders crashing down a mountainside, I stood on my own two feet. Unsure I would not be bitten; I reached out to the nose of the horse and placed my hand before the nose, a gesture of peace. Snorting, it nuzzled my hand. I grew bolder, running my hand up its nose to its ears. When it turned its head, pushing my hand, I smiled and obliged by scratching behind the ears.
“What do you want from me,” I mused.
Nickering, it shook its head and looked at its back.
“You want me to ride you?”
The vigorous nodding told me yes.
“I see,” I replied none too sure.
When it stomped its foot and snorted, I decided it was not going to take no for an answer. Looking down one side of the isle then the other, I realized that we were alone. That was strange since the parking lot of the store was completely full when I arrived. The pony snorted again.
“Impatient, aren’t we.”
Butting me with its head, it snorted again, this time stamping its foot on the tile floor.
“I must be mad,” I muttered shaking my head.
Taking a deep breath, I moved down the horse and took a hold of its main. After a quick thought, I bent down to see which sex the horse was.
“Male, huh. Explains the impatient part.” I could have sworn he rolled his eyes. “I don’t have to go with you, you know,” I snapped.
The look that horse gave me told me that I really had no choice in the matter, and to get on.
“Fine,” I sighed irritably.
With the ease of someone who had lived around horses all her life, I jumped onto his back. Once I was settled I asked, “Now what?”
It was a question that would forever haunt me, because what happened in that next second changed my life forever.
Copyright 2016 Heidi Barnes
This is from a prompt on Kellie Elmore’s website Magic in the Backyard.
You wake up in a field with this note on your chest. Tell the story…
A dream? Was that what it was? A dream? How can a dream seem so real?
Glancing around the field not for the first time I wondered how I got here. The last thing I remember was walking through the woods on my way home. I had been told many times not to walk there because of the legends. For years people would walk in only to reemerge years later. There was the next question. What year was it? I glanced down at the paper I clutched in my hand. “Come now, Alice. It’s only a dream.” Only a dream. Did that mean what had happened before I ended up in this field, or what was happening now? And what or who was Alice? All questions that would only be answered, I suppose, if I tried to figure out what the hell had happened.
Sighing, I pushed myself to my feet. First thing first, was I in one piece? Nothing seemed to be broken. I wasn’t bleeding anywhere. The only thing that hurt was my head, which was pounding like a freight train was running through it. Shading my eyes, I looked up at the blue sky and the blazing sun that was doing nothing to relieve my headache. Now I was higher, I could see that the field I was in was surrounded by a forest. Behind the trees was a ring of mountains with jagged peaks covered in snow. I turned, following the high peaks with my eyes trying to find a possible escape. When I found none my panic started to set in. A long mournful howl sent it in over-drive. Great. Wolves.
Stuffing the paper the back pocket of my jeans, I decided that the middle of a field was not the best place to be. I needed to find cover before the wolves found me, unless it was too late. Before I could move, a very large shadow moved over me. Since there had been no clouds in the sky when I last looked, that could only mean something very large had just flown over. Not really wanting to look yet unable to stop myself, I looked up into the sky. Aside from the sun it was empty. Shaking my head at my own overactive imagination, I began to jog towards the wood. I was halfway there when the shadow once again passed by. The grass around me flatten and my hair whipped around my head as a gust of wind almost knocked me over. Okay, overactive imagination was one thing, but that was too much. This time I did not look up, I just ran faster. I wanted the cover of the trees before I stopped to see what it was that was taunting me.
Once I was in the tree line, I took a moment to catch my breath. Once I was able to stand up straight, I took a deep breath for courage and turned to look back in the field. It was as empty as I had left it. Frowning, I carefully moved to the tree that was closest and looked up in the sky. Once again it was empty. “It’s only a dream.” Well, if this was a dream I did not like it. Hopefully I would wake up before something ate me.
Another howl filled the air followed by a second. Great. They were calling in reinforcements. I needed to find shelter and build a fire so I would have some sort of weapon against the wolves. I turned to make my way deeper in the woods.
The wolves are not your greatest adversary here, a voice rumbled through my head.
I froze.
Suddenly the trees around me began to creak, threatening to snap in two as another gust bombarded me. Grabbing my head, I crouched down, trying to make myself a smaller target for anything that might fall from the sky. When the wind stopped, I slowly lifted my head. Again I was alone, but I had had enough. Something else besides the wolves was here, and it was big. Very big. Time to stop dawdling and run. Before I could take a step there was a loud thud that shook the ground. Putting out my hands for balance, I tried to keep my feet. Once the shaking stopped, I waited for it to begin again. Once I realized the earthquake was over, I took a step.
Little human, do you really think you can hide from me? the voice rumbled through my head again. Apparently the idea amused whoever it was because I could hear laughter in its voice. I wasn’t sure what worried me more. The fact I was hearing voices, or that it called me human.
“Who are you?” I whispered out loud.
The voice chuckled in my head. Why don’t you turn around and find out? it smirked.
The one thing that irritated me the most was when someone was laughing at me. I had never done well with it as a child, and as a young adult I was even worse. All my life my classmates had made fun of me because I was different. I could see and do things that they could never understand because they were ‘normal’. Where there were times I wished I were normal, the ability to hear other peoples’ thoughts, see their intentions, had saved my ass more than once. Aside from my parents, there was only one person I trusted with all my secrets and that is because he came to my rescue more than once. Unfortunately, John was not here this time. This time I was on my own.
You are never alone, little human. You will always have those who will protect you with their lives. Except for maybe now, the voice mused. This time you must prove yourself to me.
”And who are you?” I asked not really sure I wanted to know.
Turn around and find out, the amusement back.
Closing my eyes and tightly fisting my hands, I did my best to pull back my fear. I was not helpless. I had my ability and years of training. I knew there were those who wanted me and had prepared to fight back with everything I had. I just had thought John would be with me. He always had in the past.
The past is the past. This is the present. Turn around and face your fate or run like the coward we believe you are. It is your choice, the voice rumbled. I could hear the shrug in its voice. It did not care either way what I did, as if it already knew the outcome. Well I was no coward.
Opening my eyes, I unclenched my fist, took a deep breath, gathered my wits and powers around me and turned around. What stood in the middle of the field took the fire right out of me. Oh…my…god!
Standing proudly in the middle of the field on standing on all fours with its wings extended out to the side as to emphases just how huge it was, was a gigantic purple dragon. The smooth scales shimmered in the sun, telling me that there was just more than the color purple in its hide. The huge leather wings flexed, bringing my eyes to them as if that was what the dragon wanted. They too shimmered, but what drew my eyes were the talons at the top of the end knuckle, large enough to gut anything that tried to attack the thing.
I am not a thing, it snorted, steam coming from it nostrils.
At least two stories high with those talons on his wings and more on its feet, I realized calling a sentient being a thing was probably not the best of ideas. Neither was fighting it, which it had insinuated it was there for. To test me. As she stared at it realized there would be no running away from this creature.
Another howl, only this time it was a course of many wolves. The dragon settled its wings onto his back and settled its belly onto the ground, his muzzle slowly swinging back and forth as it look around it. They come. It looked at me. You are running out of time, little human. Make your decision.
“What decision?” I asked stepping out from the cover of the trees.
Whether or not you will be a pawn or if you will fight. The howls became more frantic as they came closer. Hurry, little human. They are coming.
“Who is coming? I don’t understand,” I yelled in frustration taking a few more steps closer to the large beast. “What do you want from me?”
The dragon regarded me for a moment before saying with a tone that echoed in my head and sent dread throughout my entire being, Your life.
Copyright 2016 Heidi Barnes
This a FWF prompt from Kellie Elmore’s website Magic in the Backyard.
The winter had been long and I was tired of it. Tired of it all. The bitter cold, the sleeping outside, the loneliness, and never knowing if I was going to live one day to the next let alone through the night. This war seemed to have gone on forever. The killing, the fighting, the disease, the death. If something didn’t change soon I couldn’t promise that I wouldn’t walk away from it all. I didn’t even know what we were fighting for anymore. The reason seemed to have gotten lost over the years. Now…well now I was tired.
We were walking through the woods on our way to a small town that was rumored to have a safe house for those who wish for a warm bed and good food without fear of being shot. It did not matter what side you were on, everyone was welcomed. The one condition was no fighting. When you stepped through the threshold you left the war outside. A little piece of heaven in my world of hell.
Neither of us talked. My buddy was just as tired as I was. So it was with a profound silence that we trudged through the damp woods, each of us praying that we had enough strength to make it to our destination. I was about to call for a break when we broke through the treeline into a clearing. What we saw sitting in the middle stopped us in our tracks.
The deep rich mahogany was a stark contrast to the dead vegetation around it. At first glance the instrument look pristine, but as I squinted at it, still not sure I was seeing what I was seeing, I began to see scratches and dings. The big question that I knew was also running through my buddies mind was, what the hell was a piano doing out in the middle of nowhere?
Looking at my friend, I raised my eyebrows in question. He answered with a shrug of his shoulders. He had no clue either. Being we were in enemy territory, silence was the key to survival. This could also be a trap, but it had been so long since I had heard the sound of something as beautiful as music I could not resist the temptation the piano. Pulling my gun from my shoulder, I motioned my friend to follow. Grimacing he did as I asked.
Step by step we slowly made our way to the piano, each of us scanning the ground and treeline for any sign of danger, our rifle butts tightly against our shoulders, our fingers ready to squeeze the trigger at the moment danger reared it’s ugly head. When we reached the piano, my friend kept his rifle at the ready as I lowered mine and studied the piano for boobytraps. When nothing seemed amiss I motioned for him to that is was clear. Still vigilant, he moved closer to, glancing down as I slowly opened the lid to reveal the ivory keys. Unlike the rest of the piano that, on closer inspection, obviously had been sitting out in the elements for some time, the keys were pristine, the white and black shining in the waning light. I reached out to push one of the keys. His hand shot out stopping me. Pursing his lips he shook his head, clearly not wanting me to touch them. I saw his reasoning. On the outside it looked innocent enough, but on the inside…. Motioning him to stand back, I moved to the side and put my hand on the top of the piano. Taking a deep breath for courage, I slowly lifted the lid. When nothing exploded in our faces we both heaved a sigh of relief. Looking inside I did not see anything wrong. Quietly closing the lid I smiled that everything was fine.
Frowning, my friend once again moved to my side. We still had no clue as to why this piano was sitting in the middle of a clearing in the middle of the woods in the middle of nowhere. Again I reached out and touched one of the keys. To my surprise, the soft sound was in key. Moving so I was centered, I placed both hands on the keys and ran a sequence of chords. Every one of them were in key. I looked at my friend in surprise and again all he did was shrug. Unable to help myself I played a little tune my mother had taught me at a young age. One that always brought back memories of apple pie and milk. Of sitting around the table with family and friends laughing and eating. Memories I thought long buried under death and destruction. Suddenly the world did not seem like such a dark and dismal place. Suddenly I realized that one day I will have that warm safe feeling again. I would make sure of it.
My friend tapped me on the shoulder. Glancing at him, he pointed with his chin across the clearing, his rifle once again in his hands. Looking where he pointed, a small child stood at the edge of the clearing watching us. With a motion of his hand to follow, he disappeared into the trees. Curious as to why there was a child alone in these dangerous woods, we cautiously followed. Maybe he was the trap. Even so, leaving a small child alone and unprotected did not sit well with either of us.
What we found shocked us. The piano was not a trap, but a test. If we just passed it by without touching it we would be allowed to pass unharmed. If we destroyed it then we too would have been destroyed. By playing it, we showed those who were watching that we might be able to be trusted with the biggest secret of this unending war. That we could be brought home.
Copyright 2016 Heidi Barnes
This is to a response to Kellie Elmore’s FWF prompt on her website Magic in the Backyard.
This prompt is from a the author Kellie Elmore. She writes some pretty amazing poetry. You might want to look her up on Amazon. Every Friday she used to put up a prompt for those of us who loved a challenge. Many short stories, poems and one actual novel has been born during Kellie’s Free Write Friday’s. (FWF) After a hiatus she has once again began posting prompts for FWF. YEAH! This is the first one. If you would like to join or read past FWF (yes, even mine are there) please click here. As for now, here is the prompt and then my contribution. I hope you enjoy.
Memory Prompt:
Write about your earliest memory. Good, bad, happy or sad. Before you begin, take time to dwell in that memory. Absorb everything you can about it. What you see, what you smell, what you hear and mostly, how you feel. Let it resonate. Marinate your mind in that one moment. Then begin.
I had just turned two the month before. I stood at the window of my maternal grandmother’s house waiting for my paternal grandmother to bring my mom home and bring my new baby sister. I had the perfect view of the sidewalk that connected the house to the garage and the driveway. I remember being really excited and that it seemed to take forever! Then they were here! I ran out the door and down the sidewalk to meet them halfway. I had a sister! The next memory I have is of sitting on my grandmother’s green couch and my mom putting my new sister in my lap. Once she was settled, my sister took a hold of my finger and refused to let go. She had a pretty strong grip for someone so small.
Have a wonderful week. 🙂
Sitting on the white sand, his bare feet brought up so he could rest his arms loosely on his knees, Gideon wondered why he even tried. It seemed as if everything he did to keep those he loved safe only made things worse. Now he was afraid it was too late.
It started out as such a simple plan. Hide Sapphira in plain sight and then wait for the danger to pass. Who would have thought it would take this long or the cost would be so high?
Eons lost because in the end she was lost. Not lost as in her soul slipped into the darkness never to return to the light, but lost as in physically could not be found, and yet she was right in front of them the entire time. Damn Michel and his games. If only the angel had talked to him before they wiped his memory he would have ended this madness a long time ago.
Grinding his teeth, Gideon cursed his brother’s part in all this. Just as quickly he took it back. Fallon had suffered just as much if not more for his part in their deception. At least Gideon had been allowed to stay in the heavens and, even though he had not realized it at the time, keep Sapphira safe from the demons that constantly hunted her. Fallon…. Gideon shuddered. No angel, fallen or otherwise, should be subjugated to what his brother had endured these last millenniums.
And now the Unspoken One was loose and hunting the one being that even after all this time he was still obsessed with owning. The one being that could either bring them peace, or destroy them all.
There was a rustle behind him followed by a soft thud, as if something fell onto the deep sand. Gideon did not turn around to see who had landed behind him. He did not need to. His brother’s presence was as familiar as his own.
“Any luck?” Gideon asked staring out at the light blue sea stretching out before him. A beautiful view if only he was in the mood to enjoy it.
“Nothing yet,” Fallon sighed wearily. More rustling and the dark angel sat heavily in the sand next to Gideon, his huge ink black wings lying in the sand next to Gideon’s pure white ones behind them. Pushing one hand through his shoulder-length black streaked with red hair, a stark contrast to Gideon’s short blonde hair, Fallon growled in frustration, “It’s like they have vanished into thin air.” After a moment of silence, he whispered desperately, “I can’t lose her again. Not like this.”
Gideon looked down at the sand between his knees knowing how his brother felt. He could not lose Sapphira either, but then again she wasn’t really theirs, was she. That privilege belonged to another far more powerful god. One they were, at one timed, devoted to just as deeply as they were devoted to Sapphira.
One hand snaked down and idly picked up a sea shell. Rubbing it between his fingers, old memories melded with new. Where Gideon knew Sapphira was far more than what she seemed, that together she and her mate were what kept the known universe, and those unknown, from ripping apart at the seams, it still did not completely erase the bitterness he felt every time he thought of her in the one male’s arms that had made the last thousand years a living hell. Or did it erase the deep feeling of loss.
Bitterness was a human emotion he should be far above being who he was. Yet it still tormented him. More so, it seemed, than his brother.
As calmly as he could, Gideon said into the silence, “They couldn’t vanish again without help, and we would know if she was…dead.” The word practically choked him.
“They have been hidden from us before,” Fallon reminded.
Very true.
The Unspoken One did not want to hide, though. He wanted to possess and once he did he would make sure they all knew he had finally won.
Fallon suddenly pushed himself to his feet, his wings fanning out behind him in agitation.
“Sitting here is not going to help us or them. Maybe if we go back to where we were separated. Pick up the trail….”
Fallon kept talking as he paced back and forth in front of Gideon, but Gideon did not hear him. His attention was on one of Fallon’s feathers that had dislodged itself from his wings and was slowly floating down to the soft sand. There was a memory that was buried deep in his subconscious that kept trying to remind him of something important. Of pain and blood and fire. Of darkness and light and unconditional love so deep that even now it soothed the ache in Gideon’s heart. Something that would help them find Sapphira.
Slowly, he reached out his hand to the feather that had settled softly in the sand. Picking it up he stared at it, twisting it one way then another. Then one of the words Fallon had uttered whispered in his head and he suddenly knew what to do.
“Are you even listening to me?” Fallon snapped.
“Back,” Gideon answered, his voice that distance when someone is thinking out loud.
“That’s what I was saying. Go back to where we…,” Fallon began again in frustration.
“No,” Gideon said grinning up at his brother. “Back.”
Fallon stared at Gideon as if he had lost his mind. Maybe he had, because what he was thinking was insane, but it just might work. Jumping to his feet, Gideon showed Fallon the feather.
“We go back,” he repeated enthusiastically. “To the beginning.”
“The beginning,” Fallon repeated slowly, staring at the feather. “As in before it all started? Time travel?”
Gideon nodded.
“Are you insane? We can’t do that. It could rip the very foundations of the time continuum, not to mentions there are only two beings that have that kind of power and even they refuse to time travel.”
“Not true. You and I both know Sara has gone back in time to save us. Now it is our turn to go back and save hers.” When Fallon continued staring at him like he was insane, Gideon tried one more time. “What do we have to lose?”
“Everything,” Fallon breathed.
“Haven’t we already lost everything?”
Fallon’s eyes snapped to Gideon’s. While what his brother said was true, this was the most insane, stupidly dangerous idea he had ever come of with. So much could go wrong, yet at the same time everything already had. Gideon was right. They had nothing to lose.
“What if it doesn’t work?” Fallon asked still unsure.
“Then we try again,” Gideon said firm in his conviction.
“And if it all goes to hell and we destroy everything they have built, everything we have fought so hard to protect?”
There was an uncertainty in Fallon’s voice that made Gideon hesitated. It was a huge risk, but the feeling in his gut was telling him that it was the only way. “Then they will truly begin at the beginning because everything will be gone, including us. It is a sacrifice I am willing to make to keep them safe.”
After a moment, Fallon’s hand came up, a small smile crossing his lips. Grinning, Gideon grasped Fallon’s forearm, the agreement made and sealed in that handshake.
“For the record I still think it’s an insane idea,” Fallon said grimly.
“Noted. Now to figure out how far to go back.”
“The day of the sentencing,” Fallon said quietly. “That way we don’t run the chance of changing too much and destroy everything.”
The color drained from Gideon’s face. It would mean Fallon would have to live through the horrors that followed that fateful day all over again.
“Are you sure?”
Fallon took in a deep breath and let it out slowly. “No.”
“Do you think it will be far enough?”
“Only time will tell.”
Copyright 2016 Heidi Barnes
This story came about from a Free Write that I used to do every Friday on the Kellie Elmore website that took off. She is thinking about bring back her FWF and I hope she does because it was a lot of fun. There is a lot more (an entire book actually) that I will let you what I decide to do with it, whether it is to publish it through Amazon or on here.
Have a great day! 🙂
Currently Researching the Disaster of Pompeii in 79 A.D.
An Empyrean Cycle
Fiction, Nonfiction, and Poetry Journal
Mindfulness, Philosophy, Spirituality, Meditation, Awareness, Religion, Nature Photography
Layers Of Life
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To See What I See 