The first day of rain in over a month and this is what I look out to. I don’t think this tree has ever been wet when in full bloom. Usually it is green-leaved with a light green almost white blossoms – and covered in bees – not this white cloud. I just thought it was really pretty and wanted to share.
Justus Tremmel. Playboy, hero, risk taker, lover. All the things his father was except one. Responsible CEO of one of the most powerful empires in the world. At twenty-three everyone expected him to take over the company sooner rather than later, a job Jesse was doing his best to run away from. That was until a mere slip of girl captured his heart and the attention of those who wanted him dead and his family ruined. Will he be able to walk away from Sara, or will he follow in his father’s footsteps? Keeping the woman he loves locked away, never to see her family and friends again. Will any of it be enough to keep her safe?
Sara Reese had her future planned out. Finish college and move as far away from the small quiet town she grew up in to live in the big city where excitement was around every corner. That was until Justus Tremmel inadvertently gave her a taste of his world and the dangers surrounding it. Now hunted by the ones who wish to see the Tremmels ruined, Sara must decide whether she wants to stay in the comfort of what she knows, or dive headlong into a world she barely understands and wants her dead.
Do you know
who you I am?
Do you understand
what I am capable of,
the horrors I have seen,
done
to come to this place,
this time?
I will not be denied
what is rightfully
mine!
There is no other choice,
no other conclusion.
You will never escape
because when I am through
I will own you.
When I am through….
You will be dead.
Damon & Emma – Destiny Series
Copyright 2016 Heidi Barnes
I warned you what would happen
if you denied me.
What happens next
is on you.
Damon – Destiny Series
Copyright 2016 Heidi Barnes
Don’t tell me
you don’t remember,
that you had no choice.
I can see it in your eyes,
hear it in your voice.
You wanted this,
you wanted him.
Wanted to be connected
in a way that no words
can describe.
And now
you have lost
me.
Copyright © 2016 Heidi Barnes
COMING SOON
I stare into the mirror
my face bare to the world.
My eyes tired,
my lips neutral,
my expression blank,
uncaring.
The façade that I wear everyday
washed away so easily with water,
revealing a woman
I barely recognize.
A woman who hides her pain
behind a well rehearsed smile
cheerful banter
well placed make-up.
There are times I wish
someone would see
the pain that I hide
so maybe I won’t be alone,
that maybe I can finally
be free to be me.
Copyright 2016 Heidi Barnes
“You’re an idiot.”
“What do you mean? I did everything I was suppose to do. Why is that wrong?”
“Because you don’t agree with the procedure. You think it’s wrong, so why do it that way? Why not do it the way you know is right?”
“Just because I disagree with what I’m being told to do, doesn’t mean it’s the wrong way. It just means I don’t necessarily my way.”
“It’s not right.”
“Why do you say that?”
“We should be free to do things the way we want to do them.”
“Who says we can’t?”
…..
“Look. Right now, this project is not mine. It’s the company’s. My boss told me he wanted it done in a certain way. Do I think there is a better way? Sure! Is what I am doing morally wrong or going to hurt someone? No. So we do it my boss’s way. Maybe it will work, maybe it won’t. If it doesn’t then the higher-ups will be more acceptable to trying my idea. Either way, it has to be done.”
“If you ask me it’s a waste of time.”
“Maybe. We’ll see. I have to get back to work. Let’s just agree to degree and leave it at that. Okay?”
*sigh* Okay. But mark my words. Your way is better.
Go!
I’m going, I’m going.
Copyright 2016 Heidi Barnes
When I thought of the word ‘disagree’ this is the conversation that came to my head. It’s one we’ve probably all had at one time or another.
Editing. Such a lovely pastime…..not. I know I’ve written about this before. A lot of the times there are gaps in my posting, whether blog, poem or story, it’s because I’m not sure I’ve written about the subject before and I don’t necessarily want to repeat myself. This particular subject, probably because I’m in the middle of editing right now, has been bugging me to write about so here I am. Early Sunday morning when I should still be sleeping, with my first cup of coffee, definitely not my last, talking about editing.
So where was I. Oh yes, this lovely pastime we as writers struggle through for some unknown insane reason. 😛
At the moment, I’m on my second proof of Fated to Be from the Destiny series. Like my series Obsession, Destiny has been rewritten many times over the years. Each version changing and evolving. But not so much as this last time. This time I realized what was missing and decided to add it to the story, a supernatural element, and wallah! It started to make sense to me. Unfortunate, it also added characters and changed a lot of what I had already written. The hardest part for me is what of the already written pages still work and what doesn’t. This dilemma has slowed down the writing process, a lot.
Now I don’t know about you, but there are some passages that when I first wrote them I really like them and I don’t necessarily want to lose them. So I spend hours, sometimes days, trying to make them work until suddenly I decided it has to go. To me, this is like cutting off my right arm. These words are my baby come to life on paper. Some passages that are large enough that I cut and paste them onto another document that I label “excerpts” of whatever book I’m working on. This is an attempt to save their life, telling myself that maybe I’ll use them at some later date when I know that will probably never happen. It doesn’t mean what I come up with isn’t just as good and probably fits much better in the story as it is now. It’s just hard to let go of something that has been written down for a very, very long time. (Yes, I’m old enough to use ‘very’ twice when added to the word ‘time’. :P)
Hopefully, when I open the proof today, I am still in that mindset that if it doesn’t work, stop trying to make it fit and let it go. As I writer I want you to enjoy the book. Have it flow like it does in my head and feel what I feel. Not get mired down in the convoluted mess trying to use something that no longer works can create.
So on that note, I bid you have a lovely, and if you live in Washington, hopefully not to wet Sunday and I will see you all later. 🙂
Copyright 2016 Heidi Barnes
Emotions overwhelming,
uncontrollable,
sincere.
Some say I’m delusional
others say I’m just passionate
about what I believe.
That I throw myself into my causes
with everything I have
every fiber of my being.
I say
maybe a little of both.
What I do know,
what I feel deep inside
where my heart beats strong
my convictions run high,
I am who I am,
whether right or wrong.
If you refuse to see me,
or simply cannot bend,
then maybe it’s time
to seek another friend.
Copyright 2016 Heidi Barnes
Normally when I write for a prompt I don’t read anyone else’s response until I’m done with mine. That way what I write is not influenced by others. This time I accidentally read an answer by Joe Hesch to Sharyl Fuller’s Writing Outside the Lines prompt 2.3, which I didn’t realize until the end. What he said in his response about how he writes is a lot like how I write. So the dilemma is, how to write to this prompt and not sound exactly the same. Yeah….
Okay, let’s give this a go.
This weeks prompt is about someone I had not heard of before. Jack Kerouvac and his 30 essentials about writing called “Belief and Technique for Modern Prose”. The prompt asks us to pick one or two of the thirty techniques that fits our style of writing best. Since Joe has written so beautifully on those that also fit me, which one should I pick? I decided on #26: Bookmovie is the movie in words, the visual American form.
Many times I’ve been accused of seeing what I write in my head as if it were a movie. It’s true. I see the scene as if I am watching it on a 4D screen that gives me sight, smell, feelings and dimension. Then I do my best to put into words those images and feelings. Trying to make sure that the readers feeling what my characters feel. The pain, joy, anger, despair. Try to make it as realistic as I can. Sometimes I fail because I just can’t find the right words, or the feelings and images are too strong or weak. Then there are times that I hit spot on. All I can do it write what I see and hope that you as a reader see and feel the close to the same thing.
I am also a character driven writer. We have many conversations in my head, and if I don’t write something the way they think it should be written they drive me crazy, badgering and clamoring until I get it right. (Yes, that does sound a little crazy in and of itself, but what can I say. I have voices in my head that thankfully let me lead a semi-normal life. LOL) There are those who will understand what I mean.
So now that one of those characters is off pouting in the corner after throwing a snit, I’m going to go on my last day before I have to go back to work and do what I think I do best. Write. (You may have a different opinion. Who knows. 🙂 )
Have a wonderful day.
Copyright 2016 Heidi Barnes
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Currently Researching the Disaster of Pompeii in 79 A.D.
An Empyrean Cycle
Fiction, Nonfiction, and Poetry Journal
Mindfulness, Philosophy, Spirituality, Meditation, Awareness, Religion, Nature Photography
Layers Of Life
Conjured by Sarah Doughty
Excerpts from book writings :)
To See What I See 