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You stepped away
Only for a moment in time,
Yet it seems like a lifetime ago
That you held me in your arms
Telling me you love me,
That you will never leave me
No matter what life throws are way.
Giving me the security that only
Unconditional love can give.
Then a stranger took it all way.
Yet as I crave the safety of your arms,
The soothing sound of your voice,
I still feel that you are here,
Watching over me
Protecting me as you promised
So many time before.
And I know that one day
I will once again feel your arms around me
Hear your voice promising me that
You will always be there for me.
That I will once again be
Home.

© 2015 Heidi Barnes

Just Breathe

To think we are the only ones
That everything revolves around you
Your beliefs
Your truth
Will only keep you from understanding
Love
Compassion
Life.
Open your mind
Your heart
Your soul
And see things through another’s eyes.
Maybe then the hate
The anger
That chokes you everyday
Stifling your ability to enjoy
What this time on earth has given you
Will slide away
And you can begin to live
To grow
To just
Breathe.

© 2015 Heidi Barnes

Downtown LA Life Magazine

Recently I have had the privilege to have a couple of my poems published in Downtown LA Life online magazine. I’m so excited! I want to thank Annie for bringing this website to their attention.

Here is the link to go check it out. While you’re there check out the other great artists and their contributions.

HEIDI BARNES POETRY Poetry Connection

 

Have a wonderful weekend! 🙂

Focus – A Freewrite

Focus. Something we all strive for. Whether it be focus in our work or focus in our life, at times it seems just out of reach. Just at the edge of our fingertips. If only we reached a little further, tried a little harder, we just might see that fuzzy distorted goal snap into crystal clear focus and we would finally see that ever elusive end. However, before that can happen, we must first put all the puzzle pieces in their place. We must line all our ducks in a row. There are many metaphors that I could use, but those are the ones that come to mind right now.

We are in the middle of a renovation. As I look around me at all the boxes, dusty shelves that no matter how many times I dust them it does not seem to help, and I cannot find anything. Even if I had just sat it down I lose it. I don’t mind a messy house, but this…. This is starting to get on my nerves. I need to work on my book. I am late with two birthday cards. I have them already to go except for the stamps that I can never seem to remember to buy. My yard is a mess. I just can’t seem to keep focused. There are too many things I need to do and half of them I can’t do until something else out of my control is done.

Normally these free writes come out as poems or a short story. Not today. Today my mind is too scattered. This week will be the finish of a major piece of the puzzle. Then, hopefully, I can start getting back on track, and the pieces will start to fall into place.

Enough of my ramblings. I wish you all a wonderful week and whatever in your life is out of focus will one day soon become crisp and clear, if only for a little while.

2015 Heidi Barnes

If you want to join in this free write exercise go to Sharyl Fuller’s site Writing Outside the Lines and check it out.

 

My Darling Boy(s)

I stare outside
wondering how time flies.
Only a moment ago
I held you in my arms so small.
Now you are grown.
A man for all to see.
Yet in your smile
the little boy peeks out at me.
Your journey is just beginning,
words of wisdom I wish to say.
Live life to the fullest,
every day a gift to behold.
Through good times and bad,
each lesson learn well,
and know that I will always
be here without fail.
For a mother’s love
is never ending
while time is forever spinning.

© 2015 Heidi Barnes

Danger Around Us – From Destiny Series

Image: Desktop Nexus
Image: Desktop Nexus

I was swept away
could not see
the danger that surrounds you,
surrounds me.
Emotions are high
as each word lies are bared.
The world spins out of control
betrayal runs deep,
time is not on our side
evil lurks in misty shadow
waiting
biding its time.
For evil that hunts us
knows the opportunity will come
when our defenses are weak
when our eyes see none.
Then at his mercy we will be
our end is his goal.
Our fate in the hands
of destiny’s cold hold.

© 2015 Heidi Barnes

“Make It So” A Freewrite

I haven’t done one of these in a while. A friend of mine has started a Free Write of her own and this is the first time I’ve been able to participate. I have forgotten how much fun they are and how they help loosen up the mind. So often I get caught up in the words I end up getting stuck. These Free Writes help unplug my brain so the words flow easier.

If you want to join go to Sharyl Fuller’s site Writing Outside the Lines and check it out.

So here is my submission for this weeks Writing Challenge. The idea is to just write. While I did fix spelling errors, there is no other type of editing. I hope you enjoy.

Word Bank: grovel submerge radiance lower jaded

Image: From Google Images
Image: From Google Images

 

I wanted to ask why? What had happened in the past that had made him so jaded? The boy I remember was loving, caring, put others before himself. This man I hardly recognized. Oh the features were the same if not a little older. The same brown hair, the same crooked nose, the same broad chest and narrow waist. It was the hazel eyes that were the most changed. They did not have the same light that shown the radiance of his soul. That beautiful innocence. Now they were dark and angry. At what I did not know. All I knew was that those eyes were leveled at me and they frightened me. Lowering my eyes, I fought not to grovel at his feet. I would not give him the satisfaction of knowing how much he frightened me, and I refused to submerge myself in the horrors that surrounded him. I would not become what he was, no matter what he did to me.

“Your eyes are downcast, but you do not submit,” his voice shivered over me, cold and condemning.

“I will not bow to what you have become,” I answered with more confidence than I was feeling inside.

The silence stretched on.

“You know the consequences,” he whispered.

Was that fear in his voice? What was he afraid of? He was in complete control. I was at his mercy. There was nowhere for me to run, to hide. Yet he sounded afraid. Slowly raising my eyes, taking in every inch of his well-honed body; I risked a peek up into those eyes and saw they were a little too wide. A little too wild. What was going on?

Without speaking I once again lowered my eyes, giving him my answer. There was a small gasp of surprise then the room seemed to grow colder. I could feel him steal himself from what was to come.

“Very well,” he said his voice flat, unemotional, cold. “Make it so.”

© 2015 Heidi Barnes

Have a wonderful day. 🙂

 

Mundane Acts of Day to Day Living

Everyday there are things we do that we don’t consciously think about. Putting the brush on the counter after we brush our hair. Placing the silverware in the sink after we use it. Putting our keys on the counter or table when we arrive home. Small little mundane things that are just habit or ritual.

This past week had been a study in how much I actually think about those mundane things before I do them without realizing it. At the present, we are in the middle of a kitchen remodel/wet bar/1/2 bathroom remodel. My kitchen is a empty cavernous room with electrical wires and the metal tube for the fan in the middle of the sub floor. The wet bar, which the previous owners put in a closet and we put our keys, mail and whatever other crap onto is gone. The bathroom is only a toilet. The only sink downstairs is the one in the garage. So needless to say, counter space is left to a white fold up table I bought at Costco that now holds a small microwave and toaster. (Pray for my sanity as I still have 2 weeks to go before we are put back to together. And that is only if everything goes according to schedule.)

My usual routine when I walk in the front door is to put my keys and purse on the wet bar. Yet there is no wet bar. So I have to rethink and set it in the office. I want to make some coffee. I realize then that as I get up my mind goes through the motions of each step of what I have to do to get that cup of coffee because it is no longer in the kitchen. It is in the office. (Let me tell you. My little cubicle of an office is very full right now! :P) So I have to rethink what I need to do. I want to make some toast for breakfast. Instantly my mind sees the kitchen (which is no longer there) and where the muffins and toaster are in the kitchen, (which again are no longer there. They are in the living and dining room among the boxes holding my kitchen). Then last but not least the knife I need to spread the peanut butter and honey on said muffin. (No silverware. We have plastic in baggies and now I’m hungry.)

Do you see where I’m going with this. Even while our mind is on something that may have happened at work or what we are doing this weekend, it is also working on opening the front door, putting the keys on the counter where they belong, taking off our shoes. We just don’t realize it until our world is disrupted and we have to change those routines. In a small way it’s kind of neat to realize how complex our minds are and what we can do with them if only given half a chance.

Have a great week. 🙂

Suzi’s Birthday Present

I have a wonderful friend on Twitter that I love to have fun with when it comes to writing. Over the years, we have come up with a couple of characters that every once in a while peek their heads onto Twitter and take over our threads.

Mine comes from a character that I created in a Free Write Friday I used to do on Kellie Elmore’s website. She is a witch that lives in the forest by herself, which she likes it that way. Although she does not look a day over thirty, she is very old and is neither good or evil. Because she has been betrayed in the worst of ways, their are very few that she has let into her life or she trusts. Suzanne’s character is a pixie by the name of Suzi. Suzi always means well, but her magic is, shall we say, a little…unpredictable. Even so, Suzi has managed to worm her way into my character’s heart, even if at times the pixie exasperates her to no end.

What started out as Suzi waking me up early in the morning with exuberance and being very loud (I am NOT a morning person either in story or real life) has grown into a friendship and an actual story, which we should get back to writing someday.

So, it was my birthday last weekend and Suzi paid me a little visit. I have copied and pasted the entire thread onto here. Due to Twitter’s 140 character rule, I have edited a few words that were shortened and fixed the punctuation and format. Otherwise everything is the same as it was on Twitter.

So, enough from me. Here is Suzi’s Birthday Present

 

Suzi flutters into the living room with a small box in her hand. She quietly places it on the floor. Pursing her lips as she looks around, she decides she’ll need more room. Removing her wand, she gently sweeps all the furniture against the wall.

“Hmmm,” she says with a big smile. “That should do it.” Walking back to the small box she reaches in her pocket for her bag of pixie dust. “Now let me think. Is it one pinch or two?” She reaches in to take some out and the bag drops out of her hand and emptied out all over the box. “Oh my!” she exclaims and slowly flutters back woods as the box starts growing in size. In no time at all the box fills the entire room and Suzi is very close to being squished into the window. Just barely making it out in time, she flutters outside the house as the living room starts to groan and stretch from the pressure of the growing box.

“Oooooh no!! It gonna blow!!!” She exclaims in horror. “Take cover!” she yells as she ducks behind the nearest tree.

Just as thinks could not get any worse the house explodes! There left standing is a ginormous white box with a big red ribbon wrapped around it with a card that reads, “Happy birthday Heidi!”

“Oh jeez!” she sighs. “I don’t suppose she’ll want to open the box now. There was a pretty pink balloon I decorated by hand in there,” Suzi thought to herself. “I wonder how many there are now?”

 

Returning from the market, I slow to a stop, my mouth open, eyes wide as I survey the scene before me. There is a gigantic white box with a pink bow sitting among what is left of my living room, which is in shards around the meadow. Even the trees, who groan in n protest as sap weeps down their bark, have pieces of living room sticking out like small daggers. Somewhere, probably under the box, is my furniture….

Closing my eyes and counting to twenty, I take a deep breath, let it out slowly then opened them. “Suzi? Why is there a laarrgge box on my house?”

“Umm… Birthday present?” she relays sheepishly. “Wanna open it?”

“Sure…!” Praying for patience and the luck of the Irish, and every other charm that brings luck, I step towards the box and reach for the bow, gently tugging on it. It won’t budge.

“Here!” Suzi exclaims. “Let me help!!” Giving the ribbon a hard tug the lid flies open and thousands of pink hand decorated balloons come flying out!!

Gasping in awe, we watch them as most of them float up into the heavens, some staying near the ground so I can enjoy them.

“Thank you Suzi! They are beautiful!” I reach down to pick one up and examine it, loving the detail. “You really should be an artist.”

“Ummm, Heidi, you might want to put that down.” Suzi says looking up into the sky. As each balloon pops, fireworks explode.

My body freezes, the only things that work are my fingers, which let go of the balloon. Coming to my senses, I step away from the balloon before it explodes. Raising my unblinking eyes upwards, I watch the fireworks, careful to wave away any balloon that float my way.

“Very lovely,” I say my voice slightly strained. “Um, Suzi?

“Yes Heidi?”

“Be a dear and put my house back together exactly the way it was then heal the trees. I’ll start dinner. I got your favorite.” 🙂

“Yes Heidi. Oh.. And Heidi? Happy birthday!!

“Thank you, dear.” 😀

Hugs my friend!!

 

© 2015 Heidi Barnes & Suzanne Carey