Free

Have you ever wanted to be free?
Free of burdens,
free of choices
free of morality
free of consequences?
Have you ever wanted to let go
fly with the wind
go wherever
however
with whomever you please?
Have you ever not wanted to worry
about the choices you make
the way others see you
think of you
judge you?
Have you ever wanted to just be
who you are
feel how you feel
do what you want
without fear of condemnation?
Have you ever wanted to be
free?

Copyright © 2018 Heidi Barnes

Broken Promises – Chapter 1

In everything,
there is a beginning
and an end.
Even great mountains rise and fall
as time continues to roll on.
Within that time,
a delicate balance must be maintained
or all will fall into chaos
and ruin.
The universe is no different.
Among the chaos of creation
there is still a semblance of balance,
or nothing would be able to form,
to grow,
to endure.
But what keeps that balance?
Is it divine force,
or just chance?
Is it strong and sure,
or just holding on by a thread
ready to break at any moment?
Do we have centuries,
years,
or days
before the life we know ends
as suddenly as it began?
Is it as simply as a choice between
good or evil,
right or wrong,
love or hate?
Or is it as simple as choosing to embrace both,
because without one the other
does not exist.

 

Chapter 1

 

It had been five years since they released her physically, only one year since the nightmares finally stopped. For eleven years before her release, they had done everything they could to break her. Physical torture, mental abuse, rape. All because of a moment of stupidity. A moment that would completely change her in ways that she was still trying to understand, and even though she was now free, there was a small voice in the back of her mind that kept whispering that freedom would not be forever.

Thirty-eight-year-old Kara Conner was born with a special ability. The ability to make people bend to her will. She could never bring herself to use it on anyone for her own needs. Instead she would see someone bulling someone or another stealing and gently push them into a different direction. The right direction.

In a rush to get home, or was it to school? It seemed so long ago that her nightmare began Kara could not remember, but patience had never been one of her virtues. She was in a hurry so decided to take the shortcut through the woods. One that stories were told about people walking in and never walking out. Of boogeymen and witches. Of vengeful ghosts who were either searching for their lost loves or looking for the one who betrayed them. As far as Kara was concerned it was all hogwash. The woods were not haunted by ghosts or witches or boogeymen because they did not exist.

What she realized too late was that the woods were haunted by something far worse. Something that was looking for her.

Before she knew what was happening, Kara was being dragged kicking and screaming into a reality she did not know existed. A reality where the people came from other worlds far from her home planet, Earth. Who traveled in metal cities called ships from galaxy to galaxy, making allies and conquering enemies, bending those who resist their rule to their will. People who had powers to enter her mind, cause her pain or pleasure with a single thought. Show her that the strange things she had always been able to do did not make her crazy. They made her special. Special enough that there were those hunting her who wished to use her for their own objectives.

In order to survive those eleven years, Kara had done things she would never tell her family. Acts she was not sure her husband who she deeply loved could ever forgive. Acts she never wanted her children to know their mother was capable of. Horrific, vile, degrading acts that even though the nightmares had stopped still haunted her. Acts she would do again if it meant those she loved remained innocent of the evil that marred their universe. Evil that went by the name of Colin Malvado.

Colin was the one who captured Kara in the forest that fateful day. He had technology at his disposal that Kara had only seen in movies and television shows, and his power she thought far outweighed hers. Why he needed her and her paltry magic was beyond Kara, but no matter how much she pointed out that fact, how much she pleaded for him to let her go, he refused. The one time she managed to escape with her now husband, her freedom was short lived. When he caught her, dragging her back into her living nightmare kicking and screaming, she found out just how sadistic Colin could be. The only solace she had was that her husband and child were safely hidden away.

Kara’s only refuge from Colin’s cruelty was his son Anthony. As much as the thought of giving herself to the monster’s son repulsed her, Anthony was the only one in her living nightmare that did not want to hurt her. All he wanted was for Kara to be his and that she never left him. Ever. It was an obsession Kara would learn to regret fostering.

Then new players entered the scene. A powerful sorcerer who called himself Emperor Caius and his apprentice Aden Sahen. A young man who would prove to be not only Kara’s savior, but something much deeper that they could not begin to understand or stop from happening.

When Aden and his master rescued her from Colin, for the first time in a very long time Kara felt safe. The power these new beings held guaranteed Colin and Anthony could never touch her again. She expressed her want to go home, to be with her husband and now three-year-old son. Caius warned her if she did she would only be putting them in danger, for there were others just like Colin who hunted her. Better to stay and learn how to wield her powers, keep the knowledge of her family safely hidden until she was strong enough to protect them. Reluctantly Kara agreed.

During that first year with her new protectors, Kara was taught how hone her powers, control them. She was surprised by how strong she really was. Once Emperor Caius was satisfied with her expertise, he informed her she must now earn her keep. At first she agreed, but soon she began to balk at the things he asked her to do as they became increasingly malevolent.

It was then the pain began.

In all her years with Colin, he never came close to what the emperor did to her when she refused to do as he asked. Colin’s form of persuasion was mental and physical. Part pain, but playing heavily on using her as the ships whore in an attempt to break her. The emperor was able to get into her mind, weave spells around her that set every nerve ending, every muscle, into a pain so excruciating Kara could not even begin to think about breathing.

Aden tried to protect her from the worst of it, but even he with all his power could only do so much. And they had to be careful. If the emperor knew of the strange bond between them, of how being apart from each other was physically painful, he would use it to his advantage. Kara found out rather quickly she could hide nothing from him. Furious at what he called a betrayal he could never forgive, Caius ordered them to break their bond. What Caius did not understand was even if they wanted too; the binding of their souls could not be broken. A binding that also made them stronger.

In order to control them, Caius weaved a web of spells around Kara, making it impossible for either she or Aden to outright attack him. It also made it impossible for Kara to use her magic on any of his men unless she was directly ordered to. Aden had no such restrictions, but if he were to attempt to thwart Caius from punishing Kara, his actions would rebound on her tenfold. This threat did not stop Aden from masking her pain when she lay in his arms sobbing. A kindness Caius could never seem to understand. Kara was a tool, a weapon to use against his enemies. Weapons had no feelings. Weapons had no feelings, and when they disobeyed they were punished. Severely.

When Kara thought she could take no more, Caius suddenly decided to release her. Although release was a relative term.

Promising he would leave her alone to live out the remainder of her life in peace, Caius took her to the planet where her husband Brynn and now ten-year-old son Chris lived. A planet very similar to her Earth with one exception. It was full of magic. A perfect place to hide someone of her extraordinary abilities without drawing attention to what she was. A being that when Caius explained to her what she was even Kara did not believe.

To keep her safe from her enemies, Caius put protective wards around the small county where Brynn, his Uncle and cousins resided. With the wards her enemies would not be able find or hurt her. However, if she wanted to remain free, she could not step outside the boundary of the wards or she would be lost to them.

Knowing the agony it would cause them, as one last punishment Caius ordered Aden to be the one to take Kara down to the planet surface. They materialized outside the farmhouse in the shade of five ancient oak trees.

“Stay with me,” Kara begged clutching Aden’s long coat desperately, the thought of being apart already tearing into her soul.

“You know he will never allow it,” Aden reminded his voice breaking as he held her tightly to him. “We’ve become too strong. He knows what the separation will do to us. That it will weaken us.” He moved back only enough to tip her head so he could look into her eyes. “Brynn is here. He will help you through this.”

Saying the words aloud was almost as painful as the thought of not having Kara at his side. Caius had explained why Kara needed to be here with Brynn. What she needed to do before the next step was taken, but it still did not make sense to Aden. Kara belonged to him, was bound tightly to him, just as he was to her. There would be no other for him, so why did she have to return to Brynn when in her soul she no longer belonged to him? It was as if Caius knew something they did not.

“Brynn?” Kara whispered.

It was as if saying his name gave her soul permission to call to him. The sudden pull made Aden gasp as pain radiated through his chest. What the hell? Then another more persistent, sharper pull sucked the air out of his lungs. Caius was calling him back, and every cell in his body was screaming in protest.

“No!” Kara whimpered holding onto him even tighter. But they both knew Caius would not be denied. Could not be ignored.

“I love you,” Aden whispered just before his lips touched hers.

And then he was gone.

Kara could not breathe. Falling to her hands and knees gasping for air, she struggled to stay conscious. Gods, the pain. Just as she was slipping into oblivion strong arms pulled her into an embrace, a voice she thought she would never hear again called her name frantically. Then his power breathed through her and she was able to suck in precious air.

“Brynn,” she whispered just before she slipped into the welcoming darkness.

For the next five years Kara was able to reconnect with her husband and son, Chris, have another child, a daughter they named Jamie. But the ache in her heart, in her soul, that was the absence of Aden was never far away. Where Brynn’s love and presence did lessen the pain, it did not completely eradicate it. There was always a part of her that reached out searching for her missing piece. Searching for Aden.

When Colin finally found her, the wards kept him physically out of the county Kara lived in, but they could not keep him out of her mind. There were many nights she woke in a cold sweat screaming. Brynn would hold her until she cried herself to sleep. He asked her once what her dreams were about, only once. To know what she had gone through, what they had forced her to do when he was helpless to stop it was more then he could bear to hear. So he held her, loved her, was there for her to try and help her heal. They had two children who desperately needed their mother whole and he would do everything in his power to see that happen.

Vows, even ones made with conviction as strong as steel, can be broken as easily as promises made with a passing breath or with evil intent.

 

Chapter 2

Copyright © 2018 Heidi Barnes

A new story…Broken Promises

I know it’s been a while since I have posted. Life has been busy and my muse has been quiet. It seemed that trying to write anything was a chore. I have a book that needs to be be written, the third to my Destiny series, and I did start it last year, but I just did not seem to have the gumption to continue. I think I have figured out why and now have started to think more about it, figure out what path it will take. In the meantime I have made a decision about whether or not I will start publishing another story on here.

Broken Promises is based on the very first story I ever wrote. The one that was was started with a writing prompt from my 8th grade home room teacher. The original was all fan-fiction. Mixing and mashing TV shows and at least one movie together to make an original story. It was easier for me to use the characters and places of those shows because I had them firmly in my head. The story line was all my own though. I have that first part because my mom typed it up for me and I turned it in to my teacher in place of another project we were suppose to do. You see, I was too busy writing to do the project. lol. Luckily my teacher was more than happy to support my fledgling writing. She also wanted to know how it ended.

750+ handwritten pages later (yes you read that right) and it still wasn’t done. I won’t be using that first part (15 year old teenage writing is a bit…scary). What I will post sort of jumps in the middle of that story. Don’t worry, it should make sense. I will have to heavily edit a few chapters. This is not a PG-13 story, so I will tone down some of the more…sexually intense scenes. Kara’s life is not an easy one.

I will see how it goes, how you respond. I would like friendly feedback whether it is positive or negative. It will help me figure out what works and what doesn’t. Like Forever Lost, I will have a page for it under random writing with links to each chapter and links to the chapters on either side at the bottom of the posted page. Part of me sort of thinks this may be a continuation of Forever Lost, even though the character’s names are different as are the places and genre. Let me know what you think.

I will post the first chapter shortly.

Have a wonderful rest of your weekend. 🙂

Heidi

A Tidbit, a whisper….

There’s a story in my head that wants to be heard. A tidbit, a nugget, too shy to speak loud and show its full potential. Hiding behind the veil, peeking out to be seen only to slip away when I try to tease it out.

Once upon a time … not quite it.

The man from Nantucket … NO! NO! NO!

Four score and seventy … Ahhh! Now I’ll have that stuck in my head all day! Gah!

A tidbit, a whisper. Words that beg to be turned into a phrase, a scene, a piece of someone’s heart. Please, if you want to be heard, if you want your story told, speak up or the life you deserve may never be lived.

Copyright 2018 Heidi Barnes

 

Soap

Okay, this topic might seem a little strange, possible weird, boarding on too much information, but it’s something that I’ve puzzled over for sometime. Why guys won’t use a washcloth when they take a shower. Now I know there are those that do, or maybe the use one of those loofah thingies, but what I’ve notice in various conversations is that the majority don’t. Now here is what puzzles me. How do you wash those hard to reach places? The middle of the back. Between the shoulder blades. Here’s another. How are you sure the dirt is washed off? Soap or body wash have nothing abrasive. They are smooth. So if you’ve been playing in the mud, working in the yard or on the car, painting, how do you scrub the dirt, oil, paint off? How are you truly clean?

See, told you it was a bit strange!

There is a Friends episode that has always stuck with me and is so true. Chandler and Joey are roommates and Chandler is trying to make Joey understand why he doesn’t want Joey to use his soap. He tries having him visualize where he starts washing with just the soap, then the steps that follow, finally the last place he washes. I still remember the smile on Joey’s face on that visual. He he he. Then Chandler takes him back to the first place he washes. His face. Suddenly that smile turns into revulsion. He gets it. What was last washed is now all over his face. Ewwww! Again, if a washcloth or loofah is used then the problem would not exist. There would be no cross contamination.

So I guess my question is, if you only use the bar of soap to wash the grit and grime off your body, are you truly clean?

On that note, have a wonderful week.

Heidi

What to do. What to do.

So I’ve finished Forever Lost and school has begun so I’m back at work. Summer seemed to short with the last two weeks being the busiest. Son’s wedding reception, guests, trip to Vegas. The house remodel is finally done after three in a half years (YEAH!), and there is yardwork still to be done. Well yardwork is kind of like laundry and dishes. You think it’s all done and looky there, another dish or towel you missed. I do have to start working on my next book. I have a beginning, but Forever Lost was the loudest in my head so I could not be ignored. Now there is another story that is pushing me to pay attention to it. Unfortunately, I dont think it’s one I can post here. It’s not what you would call PG-13. The powers that be here on WP might not appreciate it. So maybe Kindle. I’m planning on spending more time on the computer writing now that the summer is winding down and I may have more time.

Have a wonderful day!

Heidi

Suzi’s Birthday Gift – 2018

As some of you know, a friend of mine and I like to play a little with writing on the spot. Suzanne Carey’s character is a fairy by the name of Suzi. I play a witch that lives in the forest. We take turns writing pieces of the story. The fun part is she is on the other side of the continent from me. We don’t Skype or talk about what is going to happen next as we write. We see what the other has written and go from there. There is an entire story around these two that still has to be finish at some point. In the meantime, we have these little surprise visits. Here is this year’s birthday party Suzi is surprising me with.

 

Suzi’s Birthday Gift

 

Waking up to the sound of the chirping birds, Suzi gave a loud yawn and a big stretch. Not very fairy like, but no one could hear her in the hole of the tree she called home. Conveniently located in Heidi’s back yard. Filled with excitement, Suzi jumped out of bed and began to plan for her favorite day. Heidi’s birthday!!

Now last year she admittedly went a little too far, but not on purpose. When Suzi tried to do good things it somehow managed to get out of hand. But this year was going to be different. This year Suzi was going to be very low key and have complete control. That was the plan anyway.

Sitting at the entrance of her cubbyhole, Suzi tapped her chin, thinking… thinking… thinking. All the sudden she leaped up excitedly, bumping her head as she jumped.

“Ouch!” she exclaimed as she rubbed the top of her head. Shaking it off, she fluttered to the nearest branch and scanned the yard. Finally seeing what she was looking for, she took off in full flight until she caught up to her prey.

A beautiful monarch butterfly was fluttering around the garden, looking for food when it rudely knocked over by an out of control fairy. Landing on the ground, the butterfly righted herself then turned to Suzi.

“What in the world is wrong with you!” she sputtered in an indignant voice.

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean too. I just wanted to talk to you.”

“What could you possibly want to speak to me about?” she asked with a slight sneer in her voice.

“Well,” Suzi nervously asked. “Would you be willing to call a few of your friends to help celebrate Heidi’s birthday with me? I want to keep it low key and not to flashy this year. And I think maybe 10 or 20 of your closest friends would be just right.” Suzi was so busy chatting away about how mellow a few butterflies would be, she didn’t notice how insulted Madame Monarch was getting.

“So,” She fumed. “This Little nit witted fairy doesn’t think we aren’t beautiful enough to cause a great stir?! Well, we will see about that!!” Interrupting Suzi’s excited chatter with a loud clearing of her voice, the butterfly asked, “Time and Place?”

“Oh! Wonderful!” Suzi squealed. “Right by this big tree at noon! Thank you so much!” But Madame Monarch was already gone. Oh, ok Suzi thought. I’ll just get the rest of the party decorations ready.

Taking out her wand, she went about setting up a long table filled with all the foods she knew Heidi liked. Over to the left she created a huge dolphin sculpture made of ice. She loved how it sparked in the sun! She liked it so much she also added a mermaid ice sculpture and a lobster one for good measure. Over to the right she set up a champagne fountain with hundreds of the finest crystal glasses. So sparkly!! And everyone knows how much fairies love sparkly things.

Inside the house:

Peace and quiet. Such a wonderful thing. Yet it felt…wrong. I hadn’t had peace and quiet on my birthday in years.

A flash of concern went through my mind that something had terrible had happened to Suzi, but then I dismissed it. She was perfectly fine when I had seen her last night fluttering into her house. So why was it so quiet this morning?

Not entirely sure I should, I cracked an eye open. Nothing. Sitting up in bed, I looked around thinking maybe movement would trigger whatever ‘surprise’ Suzi had cooked up this year. Nope. Nothing. Not a dragon, or deluge or exploding volcano. No natives running for the hills, no out of control animals, the house was still standing – miracle in itself – nothing. Nada. Zip. Now I was worried.

Climbing out of bed, I raced into the living room. Not a dust mote out of place. Was I really going to have a birthday without some sort of earth shattering catastrophe? I wasn’t sure if I should be relieved or upset. Although the day was still young.

Now I was terrified.

Taking calming breaths, berating myself for my vivid imagination, I decided maybe I should take advantage of the quiet and enjoy a nice soothing bath.

Outside:

Almost done, Suzi thought.

Looking at the sky Suzi could see by the position of the sun that it was almost noon, so needing to add a final touch before the main show showed up, she lifted her wand and added a few hundred balloons, making them suspended in midair.

Viewing her creation, she was almost satisfied when she noticed there was no cake, so with a flick of her wand she added a six-tiered cake, decorated with edible flowers and shiny jewels. Finally satisfied she flew into the open window in search of Heidi.

Spotting her in the bathroom taking a nice warm bubble bath, ear plugs in her ears, eyes closed, listening to her favorite music. Wanting to get Heidi’s attention she pulled out one of her earbuds and yelled, “Heidi!!” in her ear. Heidi nearly jumped out of her skin, she was so startled, sending water all over the bathroom floor.

“What the hell!!!” Heidi sputtered.

Wiping the water out of her eyes, then shaking off, Suzi replied, “Hurry up! I have a surprise for you!!!”

 Grumbling in irritation, Heidi yelled, “Get out of my bathroom!! Now!!”

“But…”

“NOW!!!!”

Dropping her head Suzi fluttered away dejectedly, and landed on the food table, picking candy off the cake and eating it.

About 15 minutes later Heidi came out of the house and found Suzi sadly eating stuff off the cake. Realizing she might have been a little too rough on the little fairy she said, “I’m sorry I yelled at you, but to be fair you should know by now that I don’t react well to loud sudden noises in the quiet. How many times have I almost singed your wings in retaliation to what I thought was an attack?”

“I know,” Suzi muttered. “I just wanted to surprise you. Look what I did!”

I looked around, amazed not only by the beauty of the ice sculptures and the cake, but by the calmness of it all. Maybe this time would be different, peaceful, non-traumatic.

“It’s very beautiful, Suzi. You’ve outdone yourself this year.” Smiling, I wandered over to the sculpture of the mermaid, marveling at the detail. The dolphin was just as lifelike. The lobster I wasn’t sure what to make of, but the detailing was no less. “When did you learn to ice sculpt?”

Noticeably happier, and feeling the beginnings of too much sugar, Suzi exclaimed, “Oh, ice sculpting is a simple flick of the wrist! I can even animate the sculptures! Watch!”

And so, with a flick of her wand, all the sculptures came to life, water everywhere. Unfortunately, just as the water started spraying a cloud of thousands of butterflies came glittering in. Butterflies hate water. The ensuing panic was epic. Thousands of butterflies swarmed all over the place, knocking down the decorations, getting tangled in the balloon strings, smashing into the cake. The scene was pure pandemonium.

Wiping water out of my eyes, careful not to crush any of the butterflies in the process, I smiled. Now this was a Suzi surprise. Sighing, I looked around me, trying to figure out what was missing. Deluge, check; mayhem, check; out of control animals, check. What was missing?

Then it hit me.

Finding Suzi trying to wrangle in the butterflies with her wet wings making it difficult to fly, I caught her eye. She looked so dejected. I was about to fix that. With a smirk that she did not understand, I raised my right hand and snapped my fingers. Instantly my house caught on fire.

“There. That’s better.”

Smelling the smoke Suzi looked over at the house.

“OMG! How… I didn’t… Oh lord!”

The fire started sparking, causing the balloons that were filled with helium to explode, causing the sky in the back yard to be filled with fire. The poor butterflies were dropping to the ground like charred pieces of paper. Searching for Heidi, Suzi was visibly terrified. Waving her wand, Suzi shot a bolt of electricity into the sky causing billowing clouds to gather, then with a massive clap of thunder the clouds let loose a torrent of water.

Laughing, I put my arms out and turned into a circle as the ground turned into a muddy mess at my feet. Slipping, I fell hard on my ass. Blinking at the sudden jarring, I looked around at all the charred butterflies.

“Well, that won’t do.”

Snapping my fingers again, my wand appeared in my hand. Frowning as I sifted through the multitude of spells in my head, I settle on one and lifted my wand. Chanting under my breath, I flicked my wand and the carcasses disappeared. Satisfied knowing they were alive and well some place safe, I tried to push to my feet only to slip back down in the mud, my clothes dragging me down.

Seeing Heidi struggle, on her birthday no less, Suzi flicked her wand and shut off the clouds. As the rain stopped the clouds parted and the sun once again shone through, and miracles of miracles a big beautiful rainbow arched itself over the smoky, chaired remains of the house. With a delicate shrug of her shoulders, a soggy Suzi flutter over to Heidi, landing on her shoulder.

“Happy birthday Heidi!”

“Oh, the fun isn’t over yet.” With a mischievous grin and another flick of my wrist, Suzi was sitting in the mud next to me, the same size minus the wings. “Wouldn’t want to damage something so delicate,” I explain to the bewildered looking fairy.

Pushing myself to my feet, leaving Suzi sitting in the mud, I stumbled over to the cake that somehow made it through the carnage relatively unscathed. Taking a knife, I cut a piece and put it on a plate. Picking up a fork, I took a generous bite and groan at the decadent taste of chocolate in my mouth.

“My favorite,” I groan.

Now unsure I want to go through with my plan, I decide to zap the top layer to a safe place for later enjoyment. On second thought, I zapped the next layer for good measure. Then, just as Suzi was managing to gain her unsteady footing, I scoop out a rather large handful of cake and launch it at her, hitting her just to the left of her nose. Smirking I wait.

Hmmm, Suzi thought. Okay…

Slipping and sliding over to the cake table, Suzi took out her wand and with a steady hand pointed at the cake, levitating it off the plate, directing it about a foot over Heidi’s head and snap…down it dropped, landing on top of her. The look on Heidi’s face was priceless and Suzi couldn’t contain her laughter. She laughed so hard she lost her balance, falling down into the mud. But she didn’t care, because in her opinion this was the best birthday ever.

 Copyright © 2018 Heidi Barnes & Suzanne Carey

Suz’s WP site is suzannevcarey.wordpress.com

Phone Call

You know it’s coming

that it is unavoidable.

You want to run

To not answer

because then reality

might be held at bay.

But on that first ring

you know.

The long wait is over

and the pain will begin

shredding your heart

your soul.

With shaking hands

you slowly reach out

so the world you know

can end.

Copyright 2018 Heidi Barnes

Wabbits!

Elmer Fudd Wabbits
Image: Google

I…..it…..they….GRRRRR!!! We have now four rabbits in our yard. My dog is 13 and all he does is look at them then goes to do something other than chase them, and the coyotes seemed to have disappeared. I was content when they stayed in the grass. But this!!!

rabbit carnage

Guess what’s for dinner boys! It’s wabbit season!

One Touch – Destiny

Just one touch.
Is it too much to ask
for just one touch?
A brush of skin
the feel of silky strands
sliding through fingertips,
the breath of air
before lips feather caress.
Denied what is rightfully ours
agony so sweet
pain becomes pleasure
unending as time itself.
To ease the fire in our veins
all I ask for is
just one touch.
– Marc & Emma

Copyright © 2018 Heidi Barnes