When Do You Say…Enough.

When is it too much? When do you finally say enough? Some people’s threshold is very high, reaching for the heavens and above. “They have the patience of a saint,” people would say. Others are so low not even Lucifer in his realm can find it, settling in the deep core of the earth to simmer and burn. All it takes is a look or maybe one certain person walking into the room and their patience is gone, flying out the window as if the very demons of hell were nipping at its tail.

There are situations where walking away can be the most difficult act you will ever play. The one that not only will affect your life, but those around you that you thought you loved and those you still do. How do you change your life without destroying theirs? Yet if you don’t change, won’t your life be destroyed? How do you betray those who depend on you in order to keep what little sanity you have left by leaving them in the frozen wasteland that has become life? Or the scalding desert that has become your hell? What is that final act that forces you to say “I have had enough” and you walk away, never to look back.

How many people can you save by saying “No more” to the demon who possesses the power to harm those around them? How many will you sacrifice to end the misery? Strengths come in many levels, many ways. The strength to keep going, to fight that which yearns to destroy everything you hold dear. The strength to say “Enough” and walk away to live, to breathe, another day.

Some say those who refuse to step out of the darkness that has become their lives, that stay and just endure are cowards. Are they? Just because they see no way out. That the demon that holds their life in its hands has every exit sealed shut with vicious words and violence promised to those they love, or to them if they dare to seek the light. Maybe they have been beaten so far down that there is no strength left to fight for what most of us take for granted. Freedom to think and choose for ourselves. Freedom to say, “Enough.”

~ © Heidi Barnes

New Years Resolution…or Not

It is the beginning of the new year and the tradition is to make a resolution that we are expected to keep through out the year. I have made my fair share. All the usual. Lose weight, do more outside, lose weight. Where I still need to lose that weight, making a road map on how much I will lose and how I will do it seems never to work. It would be as if I wrote an outline for a story idea. I have tried this, and every time the story just stops a few pages into the beginning. My muse cannot work under the pressure of following a certain path that has been laid out for her. I have a beginning and an ending, but how I arrive at that ending is a mystery I find out along the way. And many times it changes the ending. Sometimes a little, sometimes a lot. But what is important is that it all works in the end.

So I have decided this year not to make a resolution. That I would live my life as best as I can every day without the constant little voice in the back of my head telling me which way I am suppose to travel. Will I lose the weight? It is a distinct possibility, but I can live with it.

Have a happy new year and if you have made resolutions I wish you all the luck and joy of reaching them. I will see you in the days to come.

Heidi

Again, Why?

free-write-friday-writing-prompt

Cold
Wet
Driving rain
beating down on me.
Yet here I sit.
Why am I here?
Why didn’t I go where
it is warm and dry?
Looking up the rain stings,
little needles in my eyes.
It does not deter me.
I want warmth!
Spreading my wings
I launch into the air,
seeking that which I desire.
I know it is here.
Just a little further I will…
* * *
When I wake I am disoriented.
Wasn’t I just flying?
Looking around I see….
What?
How did I get here
with the dirt and leaves?
Carefully I wobble to my feet.
As the world clears
so does understanding.
A tree looms before me.
High above
feathers still cling,
strangely in the shape of
me.
Shaking what feathers are left
into place,
I realize the rain has stopped,
I am warm and dry.
Mission accomplished,
yet in retrospect
the sting of the rain
may not have been so bad
compared to the sudden stop
and drop
of a tree.

~ © 2014 Heidi Barnes

The picture is a prompt on Kellie Elmore’s Website from January 10, 2013 for her FWF (Free Write Fridays). I had missed this one and saw the picture on the bottom of last weeks prompt. It spoke to me so I decided to give it a try. I have been late before, but never this late!! LOL Go take a look at the other entries. There are some very talented writers and poets taking part in this fun exercise.