Dreams – Flying

oak-tree
Source: Unknown

 

I know I’ve talked about dreams before, but they always have interested me. Everyone dreams. Some remember them, some don’t. My husband always said he never dreamed, yet I hear him every once in a while talking in his sleep. That is what got me thinking about dreams again. This morning he was yelling out my name. Obviously a nightmare so I reached over and touched his arm to reassure him I was there. It took a moment, but he settled down and went back to sleep.

I have had good dreams and I have had a couple of doozies that still lives with me years later. I have a few that are reoccurring, the same dream that never changes until one day it does then they stop. One of those reoccurring dreams I have always enjoyed is the one where I fly. This one has changed over the years, but I hope that it never stops.

When I was young it always seemed hard to take flight, and when I did I was very close to the ground. This kind of worked because height has never really been my friend. If I have a railing in front of me or I’m enclosed in something, say a plane, I’m fine. It’s those cliff edges with nothing but air and a loooong drop that get me. I don’t understand those who can stand on the edge of a cliff with their toes hanging over it. It’s just insane! Some call it cowardness, I call it self-preservation! LOL

Back to my dream. In my mid-years I did not have the flying dream as much. When they started back up they weren’t as often, but there was one big difference. I was much higher in the air. Instead of soaring, I was sitting in a lawn chair with a long rope that reached down to the earth tethering me to it. As always my grandparent’s Oak tree was front and center. But instead of flying low across the green grass under the tree, never traveling farther than my grandparent’s propriety, I was high above it, and it wasn’t as fun as before. Yes the view was spectacular and I was very firmly and safely in that chair, but I knew if the rope broke I would continue floating up and up. There would be no coming back down and that terrified me. I was not ready to fly away. I still had so much to do.

I spent a lot of time thinking about what this meant. Then I remembered something I had realized when I was young and had just woken from a flying dream. I seemed refreshed and thought, maybe these dreams were my soul’s way of leaving the confines of my body and just be free to soar. So what did it mean now? Why was I no longer racing around near the ground, and what was the rope for? Answer? Well I know you will probably have your own interruptions because we all have our own ideas and opinions and that is what is wonderful about having free will, but I would like to share what I think.

I no longer race around because I am no longer young and filled with the abundance of energy we have in our youth. Now I sit in my chair and enjoy the peace and beauty around me. Below me my life stretches out like a suburb, each house a different story of my life. My grandparent’s Oak tree has always been my tether, keeping me grounded in family and youth, the roots of my life. Now that I am older I’m soaring closer to the heavens, the rope the only thing keeping me from soaring away. One day that rope will not be there or it will break. Hopefully on that day I will be ready and that peaceful feeling between the terror of that rope breaking will carry me on to the next adventure.

Now I know there are those of you out there that will think this is silly nonsense, and that is your prerogative. What I do know is, there is so much out there that we don’t know or think we understand yet really have no clue. Our dreams may be a window into that unknown. I know I have had a few that have seemed very real, and have come at a time when I really needed reassurance that everything will be okay from those that are no longer with us. So who is to say I am not right?

I have other dreams, some I wrote down that I might share. One in particular is a bit… disturbing, but there is also something very interesting about it too. We will see.

A little side note. My sister and I were the 5th generation to be raised on the land my parent’s own, which was right next door to my grandparents place. The oak tree has always been there, is still there, and had two swings and many fun memories of our childhood.

Have a wonderful week. 🙂

Copyright 2016 Heidi Barnes

I Reach for the Sky

I stretch towards the sky
The unattainable just out of reach.
I do not give up nor turn back
For the lessons I learn I will teach.
I hear the naysayers,
Their poison thick in the air.
Dragging me down into the depths of despair.
I claw and scrape
Trying to escape
The darkness below that suffocates.
Craving the light where the song birds fly
The warmth of the sun
The blue of the sky.
Seeds are sown
The roots run deep
I don’t know how
To earn my keep
The end is near
Please do not weep
For peace will find me
When I finally sleep.

~ Copy Write 2015 Heidi Barnes

 

 

 

I See Colors

I see colors
all shapes and sizes
floating near then far.
I wander aimlessly
grabbing bits and pieces
trying to be cohesive,
just as easily slipping away.

Words are liquid
flowing aimlessly downstream.
Mixing and mingling
for my eye to see.
I pick out a phrase,
a sentence, a name,
each part of a puzzle
the ending yet a haze.

Life is joy,
pleasure, pain.
Never knowing which turn
will bring chaos or serene.
Stop.
Take a breath,
see what lays ahead
for behind is what was,
today a beginning
of a new thread.

~ © Heidi Barnes

This poem came to me as I was driving home from work. I quickly jotted down the first lines, but as those lines came they were not  in order. It’s the way my mind is working lately. Random thoughts, easily distracted from the task at hand. And once that distraction takes hold, I am lost to it. Usually a scenario or like today a poem. Whether these pieces all fit together for one meaning is up to you. For me, I started in chaos and colors and ended with a new thread. Have a beautiful day.

Memories Waken

Image Desktop Nexus Misty Night
Image Desktop Nexus
Misty Night

Memories waken

Misty mountains loom high

I walk a path

Where dreams can fly

You come to me

Eyes full of fevered hunger

Answering the call

Of a Siren’s desire.

One touch

One smile

And I am yours

Until time is no more.

Hold me tight

Never let me go,

And I will be true

Through life’s many trials.

Give me your heart

Share with me your soul,

I will respond in kind

Sealing our fate

With a kiss to bind.

~ 2014 Heidi Barnes

Pages of Time

Flipping through
the pages of time.
Reading written words
of my thoughts of mind.
A pattern emerges
through words and letters
of times long gone
yellowed pages
ages settled.
I wonder what dreams
these words will conjure.
Emotions buried deep
long forgotten
till read.
Yet the saying goes
we learn from our past,
what lessons we heed
is our choice
our path.
Sleep will come
whether I will it or not,
to dream a little dream
my mind has forgot.

© 2014 Heidi Barnes

The Dreams We Dream…..

   I was looking through my many composition/journal books where I keep my ramblings, story ideas, chapters that I hand wrote before typing into the computer and the odd dreams or two. I came across this reoccurring dream and thought I would share. I’m not sure why I have this dream. It comes in spurts, more times when I was younger, and I have no idea why I have this dream. Just that it is very vivid and I am usually exhausted in the morning. This is not edited, much. I wrote it down as I remembered it, and as in most of my dreams, it may be disjointed, strange. So please, bear with me.
Anyway, here it is……

   Four people all hiding who they really were, what there powers are. Two main characters are good guys hiding in the town by false identities. One bad guy, not hiding but threatens to expose the males if the girl with them does not choose him.
   It is in a town that is familiar to me, with stores, a main street and houses in the surrounding area, yet is a lot busier than normal. The male does not know about the deal she has made, but he does know there is a threat. That his enemy is ready to destroy his and his friend’s world if they do not give him what he wants. But there is no choice. The good male will not give up the girl to someone as evil as his enemy.
    The girl has no choice if she wants those she cares about to remain unharmed. She accepts the terms of the agreement. She goes with the enemy and does not tell her friends or the man she truly loves.
    There is danger all around. Buildings are exploding and she is out saving innocents even though she is supposed to stay safe, hidden from the enemy. But she is eventually caught with a group of others and brought to the leader.
    The scene changes to a compound that is surrounded by a high concrete wall. The main building is made of concrete and large. A mix of warehouse and keep. There are men and women running around carrying weapons, yelling orders or for help as the sound of explosions can be heard all around. There is smoke and fire, yet within the walls it is contained, but above the wall she can see the glow of fire against the ever present smoke. Someone recognizes her and pulls her from the group to take to his leader.
    Her enemy lavishes her with gifts but she is still a prisoner and objects, no matter how pretty or how expensive, do not replace love. He won’t let her out of his sight, but she finally manages to allude him for a short period of time. Just for a few minutes of peace. No one can understand why she wants to escape him. Why she is unhappy when he gives her everything. She tires to explain but they do not understand.

   This is where the dream ends. It never really seems to end. Just an endless loop that continues to circle around and around. Maybe someday I will understand….or not. 🙂 Have a wonderful day.

What Are You Trying To Say?

I slip away into darkness. Images begin to roll by, confusing at first until they coalesce into solid pictures yet still making no sense. I have seen this before. This place in my mind. It is not the first time I have been here. People I do not know yet are familiar to me as I walk these halls. Where am I? Work, school? School it seems to be. A cafeteria where we all gather to talk and eat, yet I do not eat. The food switches from one thing to another, never really settling for very long. As if I traverse many days in a few moments. I am in the hallway, going to class., my books in my arms, something important in my hand. But what is it? I talk to others but do not remember what I say. Then I am back in the cafeteria. The lunch lady tells me that they have yet to find a book for my numbers. I say that I can bring a composition book, but she smiles and tells me they have no room for something so large.  It must be small. I can do that, I reply. Students come to buy food. I weave in and out of them, still undecided, still nothing looks appetizing. I find some keys. Going to my table I see my things. They are books and notebooks, yet something much more important. I go to a door and with the keys I find I open it, curious to see what is on the other side. As I walk in the room is empty. We have been lied to. There was suppose to be the furnace in here, but the room is empty. There is an unfinished bathroom and as I walk further into the room I see it leads to the kitchen that is also not finished. But wasn’t it finished when I saw it from the outside? All I know is we have been lied to and something is wrong. Terribly wrong. I hurry from the room, locking it behind me. I run into the custodian, the owner of the keys. He smiles and asks me what is wrong. I cannot tell him for he will know I know the truth. He seems friendly, always has, and I feel no danger from him, yet I keep quiet. I tell him I found his keys and hand them to him. He asks me again what is wrong and again I say nothing. That I am late and have to go. I gather my things as he watches and hurry from the cafeteria. The dream changes, images move. I am in a house that I have been in many times before in my dreams. As I walk through the cluttered basement to the stairs I wonder not for the first time what it is trying to tell me? Why do these dreams haunt me time and time again? What must I do to understand?

© 2014 Heidi Barnes

This was written as a sort of free write. As the words came I put them down. If I tried to make sense of it I would have lost it, and that was not my purpose.

Reoccurring dreams are not new to me. I have had them all my life. Some have answered themselves and have never been seen again, others still haunt me. Where I do not have them as much as I did when I was younger, when the come back I wonder what they are trying to tell me. What problem I am trying to solve. These two I wrote about have never been together before that I remember. I guess I will never know.

My Own Path

Footsteps in the sand
walking away from me.
Do I follow the path
that has been laid out
so clearly,
or do I make my own
destiny?
 
Do I dare to wish
upon a star
and lead the life
that fate gives to me?
Stumbling and falling
without dignity.
 
Do I fear what others think?
Build my life around
society,
or do I wander a path
with no constraints
and live my life
freely?
 
Footsteps in the sand,
the safe path laid out
clearly.
I turn left
and begin my own
destiny.
 
© 2014 Heidi Barnes

Waiting For Me

While sleep holds me
in its grasp,
I reach out
seeking for something
I cannot see.
Knowing its there
somewhere
in the dark
waiting for me,
but my time has not come
to leave this world
and its mysteries.
To reunite with
love once great.
So he waits
patiently,
never far from my side
until it is my time
to come home.
When he will take my hand
and once more pull me
into his arms,
surrounding me
in loves warm embrace.

© 2014 Heidi Barnes

Psychedelic Dreams

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Swirling vortex

pulling me,

sucking me,

into disjointed dreams.

The world closes in

surrounded me in

psychedelic color

coalescing into pictures of

distance past,

far away future.

Bringing fantasy to life

until light breaks into dawn,

bringing reality crashing in,

turning dreams into webs

in the recesses of my mind,

waiting until next I fall

into psychedelic dreams.