Surface

Do not judge what you cannot see
What lies at the surface
is only the beginning
It’s what lies underneath
that counts
It’s what lies underneath
that is joyful
angry
in pain
Do not judge what you cannot see
unless you want to be judge
so callously

Copyright 2016 Heidi Barnes

Gone

Water Queen
Desktop Nexus: Water Queen

 

Breathe through the pain
Everything falls away
Water washing away sorrow
Clean
Bare
Only to be found again
Slithering
Consuming
World becomes unsteady
Arms hold on
Only to slip through
Falling into mist
Scattering
Breaking
Until nothing remains
Faithless
Empty
Gone

Copyright 2016 Heidi Barnes

Endure

 

Waves crashing

lightning strike

the storm mimics a broken heart tonight

tears of anger

tears of joy

through rain or shine

I will endure

 

Copyright ©2016 Heidi Barnes

Silent Pleas

Are you strong
when you solder on
through agony so deep
it should bring you to your knees?
To keep smiling
even though inside you are dying,
so those who surround you
have sanity in chaos to cling on to.
What they don’t realize
is when you are alone and hidden
that grief kept under wraps
breaks out and your knees collapse.
Greif and agony
washing over, through, surrounding
your soul screaming,
your heart breaking
chaos reigning.
Stay strong
stay silent
break wrong
no longer valiant.
I feel your pain
hear your silent pleas,
help me bear this grief
before I lose all belief.

~ © Heidi Barnes

I Walk These Hills

The air is thick
with days gone by.
Emotions drained
nothing left to hide.
I wander these hills
seeing nothing of worth,
for the only the living
can feel the sun’s warmth,
the heartbeat of the earth.
I see you
through the smoke and mist.
I reach for you,
grasp for a life long past.
Aching to touch,
to hold,
all that is lost to me,
while watching it slip through my fingers,
dissipate into haunting memory.
We laugh,
we love,
we live life
day to day.
Never wondering what would happen
if it was suddenly
taken away.
I walk these hills
lost in grief’s crushing hold,
never to hear your heartbeat,
never to be warm.

~ © 2015 Heidi Barnes

I never really know where some of my poetry comes from. Sometimes it is a book I am reading, or a song that I am listening too. Most of the time the inspiration comes from a book I am working on. I become so engrossed in the characters that I am writing that they have to have some other way to express their emotions that won’t work in story form so it comes out in a poem. Sometimes, and when this happens the words are difficult to write, it is an emotion I thought worked out that has come back to haunt me. When it comes to grief it tends to be a little of both. What I happen to be writing at the time and a memory that pushes itself to the surface because I am using my own experiences to try and put as much feeling and emotion as I can into that particular scene. I think this one is a little of both.

Shattered

Image: Desktop Nexus Miserable
Image: Desktop Nexus
Miserable

Pieces of my soul
lay shattered before me,
windows into my past,
present,
future
open for all to see.
Where were the promises,
where were the vows,
to keep my soul,
my heart,
in the shelter of your love?
Why did you forsake me
when I needed you most?
Answers I must have!
I will find you,
I will seek my revenge
then, maybe, my soul will piece together
and I can live again.

~ © 2014 Heidi Barnes

Through Shadow and Mist

I walk through shadow and mist

my eyes open to darkness,

my heart broken,

twisted

with endless torment.

I read the sands of time

to see mistakes

deniably not mine,

yet my life they intertwine.

Unavoidable pain

inflicted with malice,

indifferent to others,

cold and calculated,

unkind.

 

I hear a voice

soft yet clear

insistent in its message.

Forgiveness is redemption

redemption is peace.

But peace is elusive

when pain is so near,

even time does not heal

that which was ripped away,

so violently extinguished.

 

Faith is not broken

for life circles

never ending the course

souls partake.

I hear a voice,

soft yet clear,

I am never far

my heart to yours.

We will meet again

in time and place,

together forever

our souls one do make.

 ~ © Heidi Barnes

 



			
					

 

 

 Image Desktop Nexus
Image Desktop Nexus

Voices in the dark

promising no pain,

peace.

With grief overwhelming

heartache profound

I step towards the silky warmth

needing what is promised

praying for ends respite.

A hand in mind

holding me back,

begging to stay

to come home

into the light.

Darkness reaches out

tendrils cool to the touch,

coaxing me forward

giving a taste of peace

so desperately sought.

Hovering on the edge

between life and loss,

a battle of wills

the ending yet seen

until hold breaks

I fall into arms embrace.

Eyes slowly open

a surprise awaits….

~ © 2014 Heidi Barnes

Acceptance Heals

Image ~ We Heart It Hope
Image ~ We Heart It
Hope

Time has passed

the memories are still clear

but they do not cut as they once did,

taking me to my knees.

My tears are dry

my heart while not whole

is healing.

I know it is not your fault

I know somewhere in the great plan

this was meant to be,

and while that does not make the hurt any less

it does help me understand.

Accept that it was your time

and my time is not yet.

I have things I still need to do

before I join you.

Do I still miss you?

Yes.

Does the pain still cripple me?

Sometimes.

Do I still love you?

With all my heart!

Will I ever see you again?

I have to believe or all is lost.

So with you in my heart

I move forward,

take the next step on my journey,

my life.

~ © 2014 Heidi Barnes