With one word
one slight touch
the world can change
turn upside down
never be the same
no matter how much
we strive to believe
Hold me in your arms
Tell me that you will never leave
Promise me the road before us
will end with our dreams realized
for to step into the unknown
is a frightening prospect
Fight for me
and I will fight for you
Show me that I matter
that you want me in your life
that you will do whatever it takes
to keep me by your side
keep me safe
Is it too much to ask
that you do for me
what I will do for you?
Life is give and take
right and wrong
and something in between
Together we are strong
we can find our way
in the unknown
if only you believe in us
If you say yes
we can be victorious
Do not judge what you cannot see
What lies at the surface
is only the beginning
It’s what lies underneath
that counts
It’s what lies underneath
that is joyful
angry
in pain
Do not judge what you cannot see
unless you want to be judge
so callously
Breathe through the pain
Everything falls away
Water washing away sorrow
Clean
Bare
Only to be found again
Slithering
Consuming
World becomes unsteady
Arms hold on
Only to slip through
Falling into mist
Scattering
Breaking
Until nothing remains
Faithless
Empty
Gone
Fluid in movement
Reaching towards the heavens
Searching for something
Elusive
Praying for miracles
Never to be given
Weeping in the darkness
While flames lick my skin
Scorching
Burning away sins unnamed
Chaos threatening to
Overwhelm
Turning away
Spurning love
Unworthy
While secretly yearning
Whispering in dawn awakening
Despite odds overwhelming
No time left
Decision made
I will fight
I will be victorious
I will survive
You breath through me
Taking what is not yours.
Twisting it
Turning me into something I am not.
I try to banish you
Return to that which is me.
Yet at every turn you defeat me
Pulling me under
Drowning me in your rage
Your obsession
Your sorrow.
You are lost
So I must be lost with you,
But you will not win.
I will rise.
I will become who I am suppose to be.
I will break free
And you will burn
In the hell you have made.
I will rise
And you will lay at my feet
Broken
Forgotten
Never forgiven
Always alone.
I will rise.
Looking back there are times when I ask myself, what if. What if I went left instead of right? What if I had had the courage to say yes instead of no? What if I had taken that last step instead of hesitating, only to watch opportunity slip out of my reach? What if I had just kept my mouth shut.
What might have been if I had made different choices?
We could ‘what if’ ourselves to death, but I think the question you should ask yourself is would I be the same person I am today? I think we are here for a reason. It could be small. Something that affects one decision for one person that may lead to something bigger. Ir it may be something world changing. Something that affects each and every one if us.
We may never know the what might have been. We do know the now, and for better or worse we should make the best of what is.
Sleep. What a wonderful idea. I just wish I could. It had been a long time since I’ve been able to turn my mind off. Around and around on problems that there was nothing I could do anything about. I can’t speak on them, act on them, ignore them. Oh, trust me. I’ve tried. I walked away, been told it was none of my business and to stay out of it. Yet here I was. Standing in the one place I shouldn’t be, contemplating sleep that I knew would never come. Not while the bane of my exsitance was not more than ten feet away on the other side of the wall.
Sighing, I drop my bag on the floor at my feet with a loud thump and rub my face with my hands. What am I doing? It was not the first time I’ve ask this question. Probably won’t be the last. Not until this nightmare was over.
Walking to the bed I sat down heavily on the end. Well, there wasn’t much I could do tonight. Everyone had gone to bed long ago. Only Christian had been awake because he was the only one who knew I was coming, otherwise I would probably be at some hotel. Not a bad idea really, but saying no to the seven year old had been hard if not impossible. I could still see the puppy dog eyes staring at me over the screen as he pleaded with me to help him.
I looked at the wall that seperated me from the catastrophe waiting to happen. I hope Christian was right and the person on the other side was ready to talk. Better yet, listen. Otherwise this would be all for nothing, because if this didn’t work I was washing my hands of the whole mess.
Flopping back on the bed, I knew a lie when I heard one. I should. I was the best of the best when it came to lying. Ask anyone. Yeah, with what waited for me when the sun came up sleep would be an elusive bitch. Might as well unpack. It was going to be a long night.
I seem to be on a role with these writing prompts tonight. Not sure what is so special about tonight, but I’ll see how long it lasts. This writing was based on Writing Outside the Lines writing prompt #48. It was also written on my phone. I tried to catch all the typing errors, but I apologize if I missed any.
Lost
Forgotten
Waiting for that someone
the right one
to come find me.
Waiting as the weeds grow
around me
through me
covering me until no one
can see me.
Until all that is left
are the memories of a once glorious
life.
A life filled with joy
sorrow
a little fear
and a lot of love.
Come find me
and together we will fill our memories
with all that is good
and bad
and a little in between.
Come find what is lost
before it is all forgotten
in the misty
hazy
vacuum of
time.
This is my view this morning. Literally! I put my surface on the table, pulled up the camera and took a picture. Can you get any better than this? Nope. Earlier this morning I sat out in those chairs in my pjs and shawl with my coffee and watched the birds fly by while a sea otter poked its head out of the smooth water every so often as it played. A crane flew in and sat on one of the boats to take a nap. The neighbors were reading their boat to go crabbing out in the islands as others went by in the channel. The Olympic Mountains were a shadowed in a hazy cloudbank, and the state ferries went back and forth in front of them on their runs into the San Juan Islands and up to Victoria, BC. Only a few small clouds drifted by, but down on land there was barely a breeze. Perfect morning. Even got some journal writing done. My husband was at this very table doing a report for work that needed to be done and you know what? That was okay, because it meant I could sit here and enjoy the scenery. Eventually I went inside, got dressed, ate breakfast, came back out and read, went back in and did a few dishes. Now I’m back out here writing this blog and staring out at the view.
I grew up spending summers here. My grandparents bought the land when my mom was a little girl, so it’s been in the family for a long time, and I hope to keep it even longer. My oldest loves to come up here. It’s probably his favorite place in the world. I can’t blame him. It’s mine too. Full of memories of family reunions and sleepovers. I would bring friends over here for my birthday. Since it’s in August the weather was usually nice. We would sleep in what is now the shed. It used to be the cabin, once upon a time. The A-frame that is here now was built when I was about nine years old. A long time ago, but I do remember being in the older cabin. It had one of those split doors so Grandma could open the top and see what was going on or yell at us. For the most part we were good kids, but we did have our moments. LOL
I probably should get started on some editing. It will be hard to with this view, because no matter how many times I sit and stare at it, it never gets old. Especially on days like today.
To See What I See 