Tag: Pain

Silent Pleas

On By HeidiIn Poetry1 Comment

Are you strong
when you solder on
through agony so deep
it should bring you to your knees?
To keep smiling
even though inside you are dying,
so those who surround you
have sanity in chaos to cling on to.
What they don’t realize
is when you are alone and hidden
that grief kept under wraps
breaks out and your knees collapse.
Greif and agony
washing over, through, surrounding
your soul screaming,
your heart breaking
chaos reigning.
Stay strong
stay silent
break wrong
no longer valiant.
I feel your pain
hear your silent pleas,
help me bear this grief
before I lose all belief.

~ © Heidi Barnes

Pain So Deep

On By HeidiIn Poetry2 Comments

Haunting lyrics
Fill the air with
Sweet melody.
Heart squeezes tight
As memories swallow whole.
Barely healed scars
Open wide
Bleeding anew.
Pain washes over
Darkness acends.
Time may heal
But some wounds will always weep,
Ever close to the surface
Ready to tear at moments notice
To begin again
Raw and deep.

@ 2014 Heidi Barnes

Why? ~ Grief’s If Only

On By HeidiIn Poetry4 Comments

 

Image: We Heart It Grief
Image: We Heart It
Grief

The signs were all there…

Why didn’t I see them?

I could have stopped this from happening

if I had just followed what my gut was trying to tell me.

I should have told him to watch her,

that something was not right,

but I knew he would never listen.

Too much anger between us.

Too much bitterness.

Why didn’t I see them?

Looking back the signs are so clear.

Her mention of ghosts

and if we believed in them.

Knowing from experience that loved ones

long passed,

come when the end is near.

The way she said she did not want to go,

like she knew she was not coming back.

The spurt of unease that I chose to ignore

as a mother’s always present protectiveness

for her child.

Why?

Why didn’t I listen?

If I had….

Why?

~ © 2014 Heidi Barnes

Grief Consumes

On By HeidiIn Poetry4 Comments
Image: We Heart It
Image: We Heart It

I reach for you

you are no longer there.

I call for you

but you no longer answer.

The cold seeps in

as darkness surrounds me.

Voices in the shadows

call to me

begging me to come home

but I can’t.

There is no home for me

not without you.

The light begs to come in

seeping through the dark

breaking the cocoon keeping the pain out.

I will not let it in.

I am safe here

I will wait here

I will…..

Anger’s Pain

On By HeidiIn Poetry2 Comments
Image: Desktop Nexus
Image: Desktop Nexus

Why?

Why did you stay late?

Why didn’t you come home like you promised?

What could have possible been so important

that you broke that promise?

Why did you leave me?

No…

why did YOU take him from me?

What did he do that was so horrible

his life must be cut short?

What have I done to deserve this pain?

I don’t understand!

All loving

all knowing

all…..

I hate you.

You took everything from me

and now I am nothing.

Nothing….

Denial

On By HeidiIn Poetry2 Comments
Image: We Heart It
Image: We Heart It

No.
You’re wrong.
He’s not gone.
He would not leave me,
not like this.
There has to be some mistake!
Silence
It’s there, in their eyes.
Sadness,
pain,
fear.
It can’t be true.
I look at the clock and smile.
He will be home soon.
Then they will see that they are wrong.
Yes,
anytime now the door will open and he will walk through,
smiling that smile that melts my heart.
We will laugh at the joke.
You’ll see.
Anytime now….
Any…
time….

Water

On By HeidiIn Poetry5 Comments
www.weheartit.com
http://www.weheartit.com

Water.
A soothing balm
to my pain filled heart,
washing sins away
so I can start anew.
Life before me,
darkness behind,
never to look back
unless demons reappear.
I gave you my heart
and you threw it away,
never even considering
what punishment awaits.
I would fear for you
as I lay drifting
peace finally finding me,
but to do so would mean
looking back
when before me lay
so many possibilities
of life,
song,
growth
and that ever elusive
yet never defeated
precious thing called
love.

~ © 2014 Heidi Barnes

One Step

On By HeidiIn Poetry5 Comments

FrostyWindow

Taking one step at a time,

the world seeming big

my courage small.

Do I dare chance

feeling the pain?

Do I put myself out there

when I know what awaits me?

My heart is barely healed

yet I cannot bear the silence alone.

So I take one step into the unknown,

put my heart in jeopardy.

Try to relearn how to live,

how to breathe without you.

Days, years, of darkness

the sun is bright.

I shy away,

fear holding me back

from what I know I need to do.

A warm hand,

a gentle smile

and I know I am not alone.

My pain shared

with knowledge bittersweet.

My heart forever pieces missing

I will survive,

I will go on.

True love a distant memory,

never forgotten

yet not impossible.

One step at a time

until we meet again.

~ © 2013 Heidi Barnes for It Happened at Sunrise One Christmas Morn

This was inspired by a story I am writing from a free write. If you would like to follow the story you can go here to read the chapter 1 of It Happened at Sunrise one Christmas Morn. I will post chapters as I write them. This will be the rough draft. Depending on how things go I will publish the final draft on Kindle.

There is another story there, Forever Lost, that started the same way. As I am polishing it up I am learning more so the final draft will be a bit different the rough draft on my site.