Back to the Beginning – Forever Lost

Sitting on the white sand, his bare feet brought up so he could rest his arms loosely on his knees, Gideon wondered why he even tried. It seemed as if everything he did to keep those he loved safe only made things worse. Now he was afraid it was too late.

It started out as such a simple plan. Hide Sapphira in plain sight and then wait for the danger to pass. Who would have thought it would take this long or the cost would be so high?

Eons lost because in the end she was lost. Not lost as in her soul slipped into the darkness never to return to the light, but lost as in physically could not be found, and yet she was right in front of them the entire time. Damn Michel and his games. If only the angel had talked to him before they wiped his memory he would have ended this madness a long time ago.

Grinding his teeth, Gideon cursed his brother’s part in all this. Just as quickly he took it back. Fallon had suffered just as much if not more for his part in their deception. At least Gideon had been allowed to stay in the heavens and, even though he had not realized it at the time, keep Sapphira safe from the demons that constantly hunted her. Fallon…. Gideon shuddered. No angel, fallen or otherwise, should be subjugated to what his brother had endured these last millenniums.

And now the Unspoken One was loose and hunting the one being that even after all this time he was still obsessed with owning. The one being that could either bring them peace, or destroy them all.

There was a rustle behind him followed by a soft thud, as if something fell onto the deep sand. Gideon did not turn around to see who had landed behind him. He did not need to. His brother’s presence was as familiar as his own.

“Any luck?” Gideon asked staring out at the light blue sea stretching out before him. A beautiful view if only he was in the mood to enjoy it.

“Nothing yet,” Fallon sighed wearily. More rustling and the dark angel sat heavily in the sand next to Gideon, his huge ink black wings lying in the sand next to Gideon’s pure white ones behind them. Pushing one hand through his shoulder-length black streaked with red hair, a stark contrast to Gideon’s short blonde hair, Fallon growled in frustration, “It’s like they have vanished into thin air.” After a moment of silence, he whispered desperately, “I can’t lose her again. Not like this.”

Gideon looked down at the sand between his knees knowing how his brother felt. He could not lose Sapphira either, but then again she wasn’t really theirs, was she. That privilege belonged to another far more powerful god. One they were, at one timed, devoted to just as deeply as they were devoted to Sapphira.

One hand snaked down and idly picked up a sea shell. Rubbing it between his fingers, old memories melded with new. Where Gideon knew Sapphira was far more than what she seemed, that together she and her mate were what kept the known universe, and those unknown, from ripping apart at the seams, it still did not completely erase the bitterness he felt every time he thought of her in the one male’s arms that had made the last thousand years a living hell. Or did it erase the deep feeling of loss.

Bitterness was a human emotion he should be far above being who he was. Yet it still tormented him. More so, it seemed, than his brother.

As calmly as he could, Gideon said into the silence, “They couldn’t vanish again without help, and we would know if she was…dead.” The word practically choked him.

“They have been hidden from us before,” Fallon reminded.

Very true.

The Unspoken One did not want to hide, though. He wanted to possess and once he did he would make sure they all knew he had finally won.

Fallon suddenly pushed himself to his feet, his wings fanning out behind him in agitation.

“Sitting here is not going to help us or them. Maybe if we go back to where we were separated. Pick up the trail….”

Fallon kept talking as he paced back and forth in front of Gideon, but Gideon did not hear him. His attention was on one of Fallon’s feathers that had dislodged itself from his wings and was slowly floating down to the soft sand. There was a memory that was buried deep in his subconscious that kept trying to remind him of something important. Of pain and blood and fire. Of darkness and light and unconditional love so deep that even now it soothed the ache in Gideon’s heart. Something that would help them find Sapphira.

Slowly, he reached out his hand to the feather that had settled softly in the sand. Picking it up he stared at it, twisting it one way then another. Then one of the words Fallon had uttered whispered in his head and he suddenly knew what to do.

 “Are you even listening to me?” Fallon snapped.

“Back,” Gideon answered, his voice that distance when someone is thinking out loud.

“That’s what I was saying. Go back to where we…,” Fallon began again in frustration.

“No,” Gideon said grinning up at his brother. “Back.”

Fallon stared at Gideon as if he had lost his mind. Maybe he had, because what he was thinking was insane, but it just might work. Jumping to his feet, Gideon showed Fallon the feather.

“We go back,” he repeated enthusiastically. “To the beginning.”

“The beginning,” Fallon repeated slowly, staring at the feather. “As in before it all started? Time travel?”

Gideon nodded.

“Are you insane? We can’t do that. It could rip the very foundations of the time continuum, not to mentions there are only two beings that have that kind of power and even they refuse to time travel.”

“Not true. You and I both know Sara has gone back in time to save us. Now it is our turn to go back and save hers.” When Fallon continued staring at him like he was insane, Gideon tried one more time. “What do we have to lose?”

“Everything,” Fallon breathed.

“Haven’t we already lost everything?”

Fallon’s eyes snapped to Gideon’s. While what his brother said was true, this was the most insane, stupidly dangerous idea he had ever come of with. So much could go wrong, yet at the same time everything  already had. Gideon was right. They had nothing to lose.

“What if it doesn’t work?” Fallon asked still unsure.

“Then we try again,” Gideon said firm in his conviction.

“And if it all goes to hell and we destroy everything they have built, everything we have fought so hard to protect?”

There was an uncertainty in Fallon’s voice that made Gideon hesitated. It was a huge risk, but the feeling in his gut was telling him that it was the only way. “Then they will truly begin at the beginning because everything will be gone, including us. It is a sacrifice I am willing to make to keep them safe.”

After a moment, Fallon’s hand came up, a small smile crossing his lips. Grinning, Gideon grasped Fallon’s forearm, the agreement made and sealed in that handshake.

“For the record I still think it’s an insane idea,” Fallon said grimly.

“Noted. Now to figure out how far to go back.”

“The day of the sentencing,” Fallon said quietly. “That way we don’t run the chance of changing too much and destroy everything.”

The color drained from Gideon’s face. It would mean Fallon would have to live through the horrors that followed that fateful day all over again.

“Are you sure?”

Fallon took in a deep breath and let it out slowly. “No.”

“Do you think it will be far enough?”

“Only time will tell.”

Copyright 2016 Heidi Barnes

This story came about from a Free Write that I used to do every Friday on the Kellie Elmore website that took off. She is thinking about bring back her FWF and I hope she does because it was a lot of fun. There is a lot more (an entire book actually) that I will let you what I decide to do with it, whether it is to publish it through Amazon or on here.

Have a great day! 🙂

The Beginning of the End – Broken Promises

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Desktop Nexus: Another Space and Time

Caius watched with mixed feelings as Kara lay over Tania’s broken body sobbing. On one  hand this was his brother who lay on the cold hard earth covered in blood. On the other Kara was now free to be his. It sounded cold and uncaring, but their entire existence had been one cold and uncaring moment after the next. Well, that wasn’t entirely true. There were some moments where there had been warmth and laughter. Moments when the light out weighted the dark and Kara loved him as much as she loved his brother. But even then it had ended in tragedy. Instead of Kara leaning over Tanis’s cooling dead corpse, it had been his, and it was Tanis who had comforted Kara.

 

The thought of Kara in his brother’s arms did not bring the wave of jealousy that usually followed. Instead it only brought a sort of sadness that seeped into Caius’s bones and settled deep inside. This was not the first time they were at this time and space, and the Gods help them, it would not be the last. In fact, it was the Gods that had cursed them with this life. Life and death. Birth and rebirth. Over and over until one life blurred into another and they had lost count how many centuries had passed since the beginning of their existence. All so the universe could stay in existence and the inhabitants could continue their evolution until time itself had no meaning.

They had come to the end of this lifetime. One of them no longer existed, and the two that were left only had a finite amount of time to do what needed to be done before the others found them and started the cycle all over again. The hardest deaths were when it was Kara lying there. Though that had only happened once, that Caius could remember, once was enough. The black lash of that catastrophe had sent them millenniums back in time. There were still worlds in the outer regions that were still reeling from it.

Kara was the glue that kept everything together. The reason Tanis and Caius fought to own her heart. And once that fight was ended, the unrelenting jealousy that spurned them on disappeared. Jealousy, hatred, love, all rolled into one confusing emotion. How can one hate their brother as much as they loved them?

That was a discussion for another time. Now they had no time. Not if they wanted to end this vicious cycle of live and death they were trapped in.

“Kara,” he called softly, kneeling down beside her and gently placing his hand on her back. “We need to leave or there won’t be enough time.”

Lifting her head, she turned her blue eyes to Caius. The anguish in them tore at his heart. Forever in the middle, Kara was the one who suffered the most. It was the reason Caius was desperate to get her away from here. If they stayed too long, there would only be more misery to heap onto what was already burying them.

Intricate braids held her long brown hair away from her face. The rest cascaded down her back in thick curls. Her leather battle gear was splattered with the blood of Caius’s army and Tanis’s. She had fought bravely, but the exhaustion from the battle and the weight of their burden made her frightfully pale.

“Why?” she asked, her voice hoarse with her tears. “They will only find us and it will be far worse than if we just stay and wait for the enviable.”

“That is not true and you know it,” Caius snapped in frustration.

“Isn’t it? We have battled for our very existence, for the universes existence since the beginning of time. I for one am tired. Let them come. Then maybe I can sleep.”

Her voice and expression were so defeated that it frightened Caius. This was not the brave warrior that Caius knew Kara to be. Had the elders finally broken her? If they had, Caius would reign down his own kind of hell upon their heads for daring to hurt what he loved.

“You don’t meant that….”

Kara jumped to there feet and backed away from him. Anger and the horror of their lives rolling off her in waves.

“I can’t do this anymore!” she yelled. “Let them have me! I won’t play their sick game any longer!” Raising her arms to her sides and turning in a slow circle, she screamed to the heavens, “You hear me you cowards! I won’t fight your battles anymore!”

The sky grew dark.  Thunder shook the ground beneath them as lightening streaked through the sky. The gods apparently did not appreciate being called cowards.

Caius jumped up and wrapped his arms round Kara, holding her close. “Kara! Shush!” he hissed.

“No!” she screamed struggling to get free of him, but Caius would not let go. “I will not stay quiet any longer!”

Another clap of thunder as a bolt of lightening struck right beside them, sending Caius and Kara flying through the air.

The sudden silence was deafening.

When Caius came to, the skies were filled with dark clouds and a light rain was falling, beginning the cleaning of the battle field. The sound of carrion fighting over corpses in growls, yips, squawks and screams that all blended in his mind spurring the headache into something epic. Every part of his body ached, the smell of burnt flesh permeated his senses, and yet for some reason he was still alive. What the hell had happened?

Among all the chaos, one thought broke through the pain and agony and sent his heart racing. Where was Kara?

After searching what seemed like an eternity, he found her lying in the mud at the edge of the battle field. Her clothes and skin were burnt along her back where the lightening bolt had struck. It was then that Caius realized that she had taken the brunt of the strike. It was the only explanation as to why he was still alive and she stared lifelessly into the sky.

Tears streaming down his face, Caius closed Kara’s eyes then gently picked her lifeless body and carried her to where Tanis lay. Lying her down next to his brother, he brushed the hair from her face, memorizing every feature to hold him over for what was to come. Leaning down he kissed her forehead before resting his cheek against hers.

“I promise you I will fix this,” he whispered in her ear. “When I see you again, I will fix this.”

With one last kiss, Caius, step back and disappeared from the field to a cave on a small planet that those who controlled their lives could not find him. Here would begin a quest that would lead him to places he never thought he would travel so he could save the one woman who owned his heart and the brother that owned hers. What he did not expect was how long it would take, and the demon he would awaken that wanted to destroy them all.

Copyright 2016 Heidi Barnes

When the idea hits…WRITE IT DOWN!

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I’ve been told and have told others that when you think of something to write, write it down right away. Do I listen? Not all the time, I’m afraid. Today was one of those days that I did not listen. In my defense I was not really in a place or time where I could write something down. But I should have at least jot a few notes in my phone that would remind me. I have this free app called Notes. I keep my shopping lists, which movies I have and want to buy, poems, even book edits. I also have a list of food that I have to get when I go up to Anacortes from this wonderful deli called Gere-a-Deli that if I don’t bring home I get the evil eye from my family. I’ll tell you about that little gem in another blog.

I carry a small journal in my purse, I have one in my backpack that I carry around work, I have a pad of paper in the nightstand next to my bed. I even have a small pad in my car. I’ve used them all numerous times. But almost just as many times I haven’t. Like I said before, there are times where I just can’t jot those ideas down because of where I am at and what I am doing. The police do frown upon writing while driving just as much as texting while driving. Still… if you are an aspiring writer please, please, please, even if it’s only a few words to jog your memory, WRITE SOMETHING DOWN!

On that note, while writing this I remembered what it was I was wanting to say earlier. I’ll use it for my blog for tomorrow, which I will jot down a few notes down now so I won’t forget.

Have a wonderful weekend. 🙂

Copyright 2015 Heidi Barnes

 

Whispers in Darken Night – Free Write Prompt 13

Source: WeHeartIt
Source: WeHeartIt

Spider webs glisten in the moonlight
Tales of woe and dark mysteries
Spin around the firelight.
Misty mountains call weary travelers
Come to my forest
Rest yourselves
Fear not the darkness or tales of plight.
I hear your voice
I see your burden,
Heavy with doubt and dread.
Come and I will chase away
Those who shall
Try to lead you astray.
Come to me
And know no fear.
Come to me
And all will be clear.
Spider webs glisten in the moonlight
Whispers of peace and contentment
Dance around the firelight.

© 2015 Heidi Barnes

The idea is to look at the picture and then write what comes to mind. This picture might give me a couple more poems because I love the color and the way the sun comes through the lace of the leaf, but for this Free Write the poem above is the one that popped into my head first.

If you would like to see others from Annie’s Writing Challenge click  here and it will take you to this particular prompt. Then take a look around the site, read the other prompts and submissions and then, maybe, try one yourself. It doesn’t have to be a poem. It could very well be a memory you’d like to share, or maybe a short story, maybe even the start of a longer one. Lord knows it’s happened to me a couple of times. Ask Annie. I think I’ve left her hanging more than a few times. he he he

Go ahead. Give it a try. I dare you. 😉

Distractions and Writing

When I was in junior high and that fateful paragraph was written on the board of my Homeroom class, my love of writing began. Saved my ass a few times, too. You see, I was too busy writing, so the projects I was suppose to be doing sort of got…lost. (Actually they just didn’t get done so I made a deal with my teacher and turned in my latest chapter instead.) I remember even having time to write when I worked at the front desk of the local pool. As I sit here, some years later, I still have that passion to write but for some reason I cannot stay focused. Some could blame it on old age or the fact that real life is a lot more complicated and filled than it was in my school years. And when I got married and had kids all that free time went by the wayside because…well…babies are a bit time consuming.

But I digress. Back to the distractions. Even when I started writing again when the kids went to school I was still able to focus. Yes I had television, books, housework, the flower gardens, the family when they were home, yet I still was able to focus. Now I could be all alone and I can’t get down on paper what it is I want to tell. The difference? Internet, for one. The internet and the social media that has all these distracting evil addictive games. Games where you move objects to make three or more of a kind and they disappear. Games where you grow crops and sell them, pop bubbles, hit the spin button and see what prize you will win at the end. I have managed to cull some of those games and I never put money into those games for more ‘lives’. I have five then five it will be. I do my best to ignore them. Play those five lives then close it down. Music helps to focus me, as always. But unless I go somewhere where I don’t have internet access, or inspiration hits so hard I can no longer ignore it, I have a hard time staying focused.

Another is me, myself and I. The book I am writing now was written a long time ago, in those school day. Since then I have rewritten it a few times, each time the journey a little different than the last. This time around I finally realized what it was missing. Why it never felt right. So I started again, trying to keep to the original storyline as best as I could. Unfortunately, I am to the point that the story has changed and grown so much that a lot of what was written before will not work, yet I still try to keep as much of it as I can. And that trips me up, puts that writer’s wall firmly into place, not allowing the scenes in my head pass through my fingers and onto the paper until I get out of my way and just write.

So on that note, I’m going to plug into my music and try to ignore the call of the games, forget what I have written down in previous rewrites and try to finish the book I am currently working on. Not as in done ready to publish, but done as in this part of the story is finish and I can now begin the many edits. Oh, and find a title. Little like trying to find the perfect purse. I mission doomed before it’s started. You girls know what I am talking about! 😉

Have a great weekend. 🙂

Heidi

Unable to put into words what you see? Try this trick.

If you are having a hard time putting down the visual you see your mind, close your eyes, immerse yourself in the scene and then type. Don’t worry about mistakes. Don’t worry about wording. Just write what you see in as much detail as you can. When done, open your eyes, fix the spelling errors (there will probably be a lot!) then edit. It is amazing how easy it is to put down in words what you see in your mind when there are no distractions from what is around you.

I sit,
staring at the words written on my paper,
needing to read them
yet unable to put those words together.
My mind is in turmoil,
jumping from one subject
To another,
unable to settling on one thing.
I must concentrate,
I must finish what I started
or all will be lost.
               ~
Pushing aside stray thoughts
I concentrate on the page before me
and nothing happens.
Sighing I try again.
A few words, phrases, become clear
and then they are gone again.
I must finish what I started!
Yet others interject
ruining concentration
wanting to be heard.
                ~
Giving up I find pen and paper.
I put those words that will not give me peace
on the paper,
hoping that in purging my mind I can once again return to the task at hand.
Will I succeed?
Will I become master once again,
or will the floodgates be open
and like water once started,
can never be harnessed again.
 
~ © 2014 Heidi Barnes

Words

Words.

Written together into thought,

spoken into air,

whether softly so only those closest can hear,

or loudly so the heavens themselves can hear.

They are the window into our hearts,

our souls,

showing how much we love

or how much we hurt.

Hear my words,

let them in,

weaving their own meaning

into your life.

For what meaning they have for me

may not be the same for you,

and that is all right.

 

~ © 2014 Heidi Barnes

Exasperation in Love

Stupidity that commonsense could have avoided registered in my thoughts followed quickly by frustration laced with resignation.

“What am I to do with you?” I sighed.

“Keep me?” his said, his hopeful child like expression beaming up at me from where he lay amongst the debris of what used to be a chair.

Shaking my head I took a deep breath and managed not to smile. “You are impossible,” I said trying to keep the irritation in my voice and failing.

“But you love me anyways,” he said with a conviction and grin no other could match.

With a sound of disgust I threw my hands up into the air and turned away, knowing he was right which irritated me further. “Clean it up!” I groused walking from the room before my laughter could escape, ruining what little anger I had managed to keep. How did he do that? No matter what he did, how frustrating he was, I could never stay mad at him. It was beyond exasperating!

His knowing chuckle followed behind me, promising a make up session I knew I would soon not forget once the mess was cleaned.

~ © 2014 Heidi Barnes