Grief Consumes

On January 25, 2014 By HeidiIn Poetry4 Comments

I reach for you

you are no longer there.

I call for you

but you no longer answer.

The cold seeps in

as darkness surrounds me.

Voices in the shadows

call to me

begging me to come home

but I can’t.

There is no home for me

not without you.

The light begs to come in

seeping through the dark

breaking the cocoon keeping the pain out.

I will not let it in.

I am safe here

I will wait here

I will…..

Anger’s Pain

On January 24, 2014 By HeidiIn Poetry2 Comments

Why?

Why did you stay late?

Why didn’t you come home like you promised?

What could have possible been so important

that you broke that promise?

Why did you leave me?

No…

why did YOU take him from me?

What did he do that was so horrible

his life must be cut short?

What have I done to deserve this pain?

I don’t understand!

All loving

all knowing

all…..

I hate you.

You took everything from me

and now I am nothing.

Nothing….

Denial

On January 24, 2014 By HeidiIn Poetry2 Comments

No.

You’re wrong.

He’s not gone.

He would not leave me,

not like this.

There has to be some mistake!

Silence

It’s there, in their eyes.

Sadness,

pain,

fear.

It can’t be true.

I look at the clock and smile.

He will be home soon.

Then they will see that they are wrong.

Yes,

anytime now the door will open and he will walk through,

smiling that smile that melts my heart.

We will laugh at the joke.

You’ll see.

Anytime now….

Any…

time….

Spirit

On January 18, 2014 By HeidiIn Poetry8 Comments

I walk the earth

feet bare, eyes open.

Taking in all that I see,

I feel,

I sense.

I search for that one.

You know,

the one who will tell me

everything I want to know.

They are there,

just out of sight.

Hiding in the shadows

teasing me with glimpses of fairy light.

Those spirits of old,

forgotten memories,

faded into tales told to help children sleep.

What if I told you those tales are true?

That once upon a time

there was more than me and you.

That spirits walked this earth

free from malice and fear,

helping those in need

or playing tricks for cheer.

As this world grows old

we are told what to believe.

That evil lurks nearby

forever trying to take us to our knees.

But what is evil except what others perceive.

A fear,

a hatred,

an unknown that is hard to believe.

I walk these lands

and see the marvels around me

and wonder why one spirit’s magic is call miracle

while another is shunned as the devil’s deed.

If I were to wave my hand

and a tree springs to life in winter’s deep,

would I be hailed a miracle worker,

or be burned a witch on the pyre of man’s sins.

Within us all a spirit resides.

It’s who we are,

how we live.

So I ask you now this question of old,

who are you to judge me and my beliefs

when judgment is not yours?

If sins I have I will answer in time,

but only to the spirit that surrounds me

leads me,

loves unconditionally

me, my soul.

Air

On January 16, 2014January 16, 2014 By HeidiIn Poetry3 Comments

I fly with confidence

only time provides,

soaring among the clouds

the sun warm against my hair.

Below green and blue

spread far and wide.

A testament to life

as it quietly resides.

A soft breeze gentle kiss

soothingly cool to day’s hot breath.

Yet one subtle shift

and everything fixed

is suddenly adrift.

Life giving,

life changing,

twisting

turning,

leisurely making its way.

Clearing a path

wide with destruction.

The devil’s sashay.

Sitting atop

a lone oak tree,

I survey the destruction

with detached ease.

I once knew this place,

long ago,

when life was brand new

and man had yet to grow.

The beauty was magnificent,

the air crisp and clear,

life living in harmony,

no poison to breathe.

I mourn those lost days,

when soaring through trees

did not mean metal

or glass

or concrete,

but wood

and leaves

and serenity.

Air is life.

Air is giving.

Air can taketh away.

So beware the living

And treat Mother Earth

with kindness and care,

or her wraith you will receive

in the form of air.

Earth

On January 15, 2014January 16, 2014 By HeidiIn Poetry6 Comments

Walking forwards,

the past behind me

the future unknown.

Hard lessons have been learned,

yet I know more are to come.

As winters melts

and spring is reborn,

I draw strength from the earth

under my toes.

The knowledge that

no matter how hard I fight,

how hard I deny,

life will keep moving forward.

It is my choice whether I move with it

or stay locked in time,

forever lost in pain.

I chose life,

because deep inside I know

that death is a step towards

something wonderful,

something more.

Like the cycles of the earth

where the winter is harsh and cold,

the plants and animals sleep

a dreamless sleep

until spring begins anew

and their journey resumes.

One day it will be my turn,

and as my bones nourish the earth,

giving back what has been taken,

I know I will see you again,

in another place,

another time

smiling at me with that special smile

all my own.

The grass under my toes

roots deep and firm,

feed me strength so I can carry on

until that day we are together again.

My heart heals,

life returns.

I am ready,

I am reborn

into the circle of life once more.

Water

On January 15, 2014 By HeidiIn Poetry5 Comments

Water.
A soothing balm
to my pain filled heart,
washing sins away
so I can start anew.
Life before me,
darkness behind,
never to look back
unless demons reappear.
I gave you my heart
and you threw it away,
never even considering
what punishment awaits.
I would fear for you
as I lay drifting
peace finally finding me,
but to do so would mean
looking back
when before me lay
so many possibilities
of life,
song,
growth
and that ever elusive
yet never defeated
precious thing called
love.

Fire

On January 12, 2014 By HeidiIn Poetry3 Comments

Flame washes over

Devouring greedily

Hunger so vast

Only time slakes.

Blacken char

Withers what could be

Famine strikes out

Fueling need.

Seeking what once was

Despair overshadows.

Darkness descends

Hope dwindles

As night creatures feed.

Eyes wide open

Dawn rises

Survivors pray

Today is unknown

The new world displayed.

Remember

On January 10, 2014 By HeidiIn Poetry2 Comments

It hurts.

With every breath,

every thought,

my body, my mind

my soul hurts.

When will I feel whole again?

How will I survive without you?

You were my rock,

my reason to get up in the morning,

to fight for those who depend on me.

Now I feel nothing but pain.

How do I rebuild a life

that was centered around you?

How do I stop the hurt?

My darling

my love

my life.

Remember

I am never far from you.

I will be there when you are broken,

I will be there when you are healed.

You are a part of me

as I am a part of you.

Take a moment to just breathe.

Take that first step towards the horizon

knowing that you are not alone.

You will never be alone.

Remember

that I will always be with you

in your heart.

This poem was written shortly after my great-aunt passed away. Her daughter was having a difficult time and having been through loss more times than I would like to count I understood what she was going through. I truly believe that there is more after this life and that our loved ones never truly leave us, just like I believe we will once again be reunited.

Birchen Memory – by Alexander Wulf

On January 6, 2014 By HeidiIn PoetryLeave a comment

The rolling hills

calm my uneasy and worried mind.

Yet, the wooden mills

remind me of the past left behind.

Too much was said and has happened here.

A cracked scream

was too little for people to hear.

No bad dream!

In that one night,

you showed me no regrets.

I was too polite

and too afraid of debts.

You seized your chance

and I didn’t want to deny.

Our love was a dance

of our very last goodbye.

This was written by a close friend of mine and he graciously let me share it with you.